I wrote something a little while ago...

[tiggyfitz]

I wrote this a month ago or so, and I wanna get it published. So I'm tossing it up here to see if anyone has any constructive criticism, feel free. :)

Comments

[kalenidus]

Dude. That was fugging beautiful! 10/10 Very well writte, sweet, charming, and touching! You have talent, man!

[slysquirrel]

As a reader, it's decent. However, you said the "publish" word, which means I have to put on a different hat and take off the kid gloves

[tiggyfitz]

Nope, what you've said is exactly what I was looking for. I have no experience getting things published and this actually helps immensely. I've never really had any formal training when it comes to writing prose, but it gives me a place to start. Cutting it down will be easy enough. The first paragraph test, however, might be a bit trickier for this one, because any conflict I attempt to introduce there will likely not be able to be the "main" conflict without pulling one of those "Little did I know what was about to happen next" things, which I absolutely loathe in stories. As for passive voice versus active voice construction, I don't even know what that means, so it's time for some research.

All in all, thanks for the critique, gives me a lot to think about and a lot to work with. Thanks. :D

[slysquirrel]

I should clarify: the idea is to create _interest_ in the first paragraph. We know that something is going to happen that will be interesting to see. The key is to hint that the story has something interesting going on. (You can only break this if you're Ezra Pound/Imagist poet du jour, but that movement died for a reason. :) )

[tiggyfitz]

Ok, that actually makes life a little easier. lol. I can work with that.