I have a customer that I call, to his face, guy who almost smiles. It's true though. It's like he attempts to smile, he almost gets there, and then his face drops and it's gone. Usually, after I call him 'guy who almost smiles' he tends to actually smile a little bit but it doesn't really last. I don't know his name. I don't know how old he is or ( Read more... )

Shit. I only have one dollar left. I need to put more money on my wash card so I can dry my clothes ( Read more... )

'Im leaving Drexel, I might as well stop at love park ( Read more... )

I got a shit ton of fancy free beers at work and a free pint glass. Today was a successful day at work.
Now I just have to get a haircut, buy some adult clothes, and uh.. Not be five minutes late.

I lived in a romantic comedy last night.

My headache is much more aware of you than I am
Simple minded parasite
Put a gun in my hand

"Why do you allow Starling to believe you are a woman?" He turned to me, waggled his eyebrows and blew me a kiss. "And am I not, fair princeling?" "I'm serious," I rebuked him. "She thinks you are a woman and in love with me. She thought that we had a tryst last night." "And did we not, my shy one?" He leered at me outrageously. "Fool," I said ( Read more... )

Charlie reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a matchbook. He tosses it to me, and even in the depths of the Bat Cave, I catch it in one hand. The matchbook bears a logo of an intoxicated orange cat, astericks for eyes, stuffed into an empty moonshine jug. Below it, in red letters, reads the phrase, "Happiness Is a Tight Pussy." Perfect.

"Greetings, Ladies and Germs!"
Firstly, thank you so very much for your continued interest in my work both aurally and visually. Yes, I said, "Aurally." Laugh now and forever hold your piece. Onward...