Forty-Three Days (extras)
Title: Forty-Three Days (extras)
Pairing: J2
Rating: NC-17
Word Count:8,091
Warnings: Some angst, but mostly silliness and sex. Spoilers for episodes 4.04, 4.08, 4.09, and 4.10.
Disclaimer: Yeah, I wish.
Synopsis/Notes: Throughout the actual story, I took the guys through filming the episodes of season four, throwing in little things about the episodes as sort of mile markers. These four snippets are for the episodes I didn't cover. The first one is the only one that should actually take place during the actual story, and, in my head, fits in between the first and second scenes in the ninth chapter. The others come after the original story. You don't necessarily have to have read the full story to understand these. Especially not the one for 4.08. That one's just plain silly and fun. But, if you'd like to read it, you can check out the master post here.
Metamorphosis
Filming episode five was both easy and difficult, if that was even possible. They’d always had fun with the episodes where Sam and Dean fought and argued. For Jensen, it felt a little more like acting; like stepping into an alternate reality. He and Jared had never fought the way Sam and Dean did, so it was fun to turn around and start yelling at each other, turning up the volume and stepping each other up. So, even though those episodes usually ended with some heartbroken fans, Jensen and Jared always looked forward to them. It was different, it was new, and they complemented each other so well that it felt like electricity crackling between them. It was exciting.
But this time? This time was different. Before, Sam and Dean’s arguments had been exciting because Jared and Jensen knew that nothing like that would ever happen in real life. Or, at least, that was what they’d thought. But now it had happened. After what they’d been through, it was even easier to get there and get the fire going between them on set. And that disturbed Jensen so much that he deliberately goofed off between takes. They’d always kept the mood on set light, but Jensen was going for the gold, even getting the week’s guest star in on the fun. And every so often, he’d discreetly brush up against Jared, and Jared would grab his fingers for just a second and look at him, catching his eyes and silently saying, “It’s okay. It’s all over. You’re not hurting me.”
Jared knew. Jared knew without Jensen even saying anything that it bothered him, how easily he could slip into Dean’s skin and start yelling at Sam, cruel words pouring from his lips, sending a fist into Sam’s face. Twice. Because he’d done it in real life. He could pull from a true experience, now. He’d hurt Jared, verbally and physically, and now Dean was doing the same to Sam, and getting the same sad reaction. And Jared was here, telling him that it was all okay. It made him reluctant to tell Jared the whole truth about why he’d done what he did, knowing that it would hurt, and that it would stick with Jared for the rest of his life. At the same time, he owed Jared. He owed Jared more than he’d ever owe anybody in this lifetime. And while he could never repay Jared enough for saving his life, he could at least give him the truth that he wanted.
He went to Jared’s trailer, knocking and opening the door, and caught Jared pausing what he’d been watching. Glancing at the TV screen, Jensen saw himself, tears in his eyes, and recognized the scene from the week before. He closed the door behind himself and stepped further into the trailer, Jared standing and moving towards him, hands pulling him closer.
“You’re amazing, Jen, you know that?” Jared whispered, leaning down and pressing his lips against Jensen’s. “Fucking heartbreaking. Amazing.”
“You too,” Jensen said, and he meant it. Jared’s portrayal of Sam in this episode was off the damn chain, and he wanted Jared to know it. And it wasn’t just because of the baggage he’d been carrying about Jared for the past few months. Jensen could tell, even if he was an outsider, he’d be blown away by Jared’s performance. “You were great today. Made it easy to feel Dean’s pain; how much it tore him up inside to see you like that.”
“I hope it was just Dean’s pain,” Jared answered, stepping back a bit, eyes searching Jensen’s expression. “I know what you’re thinking. And you don’t have to beat yourself up over it. It’s over.”
“I haven’t told you everything,” Jensen said, lowering his eyes and shaking his head.
“You will.” Jared was close again, pulling him in. “And to be honest, I don’t really give a fuck what it is. I mean, I wanna know,” he clarified, smiling, lips closing in again. “But, no matter what it is, I’ll still want to make out with you in my trailer between takes.” Jensen grinned.
“I thought you were still heartbroken over Dean crying.”
“I am,” Jared said, his expression changing as he cupped Jensen’s face in his hands, bringing their lips together. “So good, Jen. You’re so good.”
Jensen batted Jared’s hands away and caught him in a kiss, Jared’s mouth opening on a moan, and Jensen’s tongue darting inside. Jared’s hands were on him again, everywhere, and Jensen responded in kind. They didn’t have much time, making out and groping probably all they’d be able to do, despite the hard-on Jared was grinding against Jensen’s thigh.
“Jensen,” Jared was muttering suddenly, breathing heavily. “I want…want more.”
“Whatever you want,” Jensen groaned, Jared still rubbing against him as he nipped lightly at Jared’s neck, his jaw. “Whatever you want, Jay, I’ll give it.” He was driven by the heat between them, dropping to his knees in front of Jared, looking up at him, his hands on Jared’s thighs. He smirked at the dark, needy look Jared gave him. “You want that blowjob, Jay? I’ll give it.”
He watched Jared let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding, felt Jared’s hand slide into his hair and cradle his head, and he closed his eyes and leaned into the touch before leaning forward. With his eyes still closed, he nudged Jared’s jean-covered erection with his nose before parting his lips and just barely mouthing Jared through the clothing. And fuck, now he wanted it, too, surprised at his own urges. But Jared’s broken moan preceded a knock at the door, and Jensen reluctantly stood, Jared’s hand falling to his side. The door opened, a crew member letting them know they were needed on set. They grunted their responses, and then they were left alone again. Jensen smiled and pulled Jared in for another kiss, biting down on Jared’s bottom lip as he pulled away, their foreheads resting together.
“Tonight,” he said. “Tonight, you can have more.”
“Promise?” Jared asked, his hand reaching for Jensen’s and squeezing it. “God, I need you. Need to touch you.”
“I promise.” They separated and headed out the door and off to set together. “Tonight.”
Wishful Thinking
“Seriously?” Jared asked for about the millionth time. Jensen huffed in response, the hand holding his book dropping into his lap and his head dropping exasperatedly back against the headboard, glasses perched on his nose.
“Yes, Jared,” Jensen answered flatly. “I am actually reading in bed. People do that, you know.”
“Sure, old people do,” Jared retorted, Jensen rolling his eyes and laughing. “I’m just sayin’. You’re only thirty. You’re not supposed to start turning down your hot and horny boyfriend for a fucking book until you’re at least, like…I dunno, seventy-five, or something.”
“Jay, when do we ever get to do anything relaxing? Anything at all?” Jensen only waited a fraction of a second for Jared to hesitate before continuing. “Exactly. Can’t I at least finish just one chapter? Besides, I just blew you like a half an hour ago.”
“It was an hour ago,” Jared clarified quickly, as if it really made a difference. Well, hell, it did for him.
“Whatever, it doesn’t even matter,” Jensen said, lifting the book back up in front of his face. “It’s not like I’m ‘turning you down,’ as you put it. I mean, shit, I can still taste you in my mouth.”
“Come on, man,” Jared persisted. “Fuck, you’re even wearing pajamas. You never wear pajamas!” The exasperated head loll and book drop was back again.
“It’s cold!” Jensen said, turning to Jared and spreading his hands open defensively.
“This house does have heat, you know,” Jared said, grabbing the book out of Jensen’s hand and tossing it away. Jensen glared at him. “I turned it up earlier. Plus?” He lifted the covers in his hand. “They’re called blankets, dude. Besides, if we fuck, you won’t even need the blankets. That’ll warm you up right quick.”
“Fine!” Jensen snapped, his voice rising, as he threw the covers back and got out of bed.
“Dude, where are you going?” Jared asked, sitting up.
“I’ll be right back!”
The bathroom door slammed, and Jared felt his heart drop. Shit. He’d pissed Jensen off. He hadn’t meant to. He didn’t think he would. He’d been after Jensen for sex almost nonstop for a while, now, and it had never bothered Jensen before. Jensen had seemed to enjoy it as much as he had. Oh, God. Jared dropped his head in his hands. Annoying. He was being fucking annoying. That was the problem. Constantly needing and whining and groping. Of course Jensen would get fed up after the eleventy-billionth time. He was just contemplating his apology when he heard the bathroom door open again, and he looked up at the doorway expectantly, hoping Jensen would come back in to talk to him.
“HOLY SHIT!”
Jared nearly jumped out of his skin when a large dark shape suddenly filled the doorway, his heart hammering in his chest.
“I’m all yours, Jared!”
Jared froze, the whole scene taking a minute to sink in. The panic faded, and he suddenly realized what the fuck he was staring at. It was that goddamn teddy bear they’d been faced with in the episode they’d been filming this week. The giant fucking teddy bear, big dark eyes staring at him, arms outstretched…with Jensen inside.
His jaw dropped and his face reddened, feeling like a complete ass for the way he’d reacted. Looking down, he realized he was standing. While he hadn’t actually jumped out of his skin, he had jumped out from under the sheets, the jolt of energy sending him up onto his feet. He was standing on the bed, stark naked, scared to death by Jensen in a giant teddy bear costume. Oh, he was never going to live this down.
“What’s the matter?” Jensen’s muffled voice asked through the mouth of the teddy bear. Large paws plodded across the floor to the bed, stepping up onto it and standing in front of Jared. Jared watched, jaw still hanging open, as one big teddy paw landed over the nonexistent teddy crotch, the big teddy body grinding against it. “Don’t you want me, baby?”
He could hear that Jensen was barely holding back his laughter, and fought back the surge of giggles bubbling up in his chest.
“You…are an asshole,” he said, trying his best to glare.
And then Jensen’s bark of laughter filled the room from beneath the teddy bear head. Jared couldn’t help but join in as he watched the bear collapse in hysterics, teddy arms circling its stomach as it fell back on the bed.
“Ass…hole,” Jared breathed between bouts of laughter. “You…How long have you been waiting to do that?”
“Oh, God.” He heard Jensen trying to get himself back under control. “Man…I was just waiting for the right moment. And it was so worth it. You should’ve seen your face!”
Jensen cracked up laughing again, and Jared couldn’t take it anymore, reaching over and pulling the head off of the teddy bear costume, needing to see Jensen’s face. He was rewarded with Jensen’s open-mouthed smile, laughter pouring out of him, face red and sweaty, both from laughing and from being encased in the costume.
“That was pretty pathetic, Jen,” Jared said, still laughing. “Waiting all this time and setting me up like that, just to pull a childish prank? Where the hell did you hide that thing, anyway? I didn’t even know you had it.”
“Not telling,” Jensen said, grinning like a five-year-old and shaking his head back and forth. “And it wasn’t pathetic. It was awesome. You know it was. You fucking screamed and jumped up on the bed, dick flapping in the wind and everything.”
“Look at you!” Jared laughed, lifting one of the bear arms off the bed and letting it drop. “People think I’m the crazy one.” Jensen pointed a cuddly bear paw at him, donning a serious expression.
“Don’t change the subject!” he admonished, and Jared smacked the paw away, Jensen gaping in horror. “You would hit a poor defenseless teddy be-”
Jared bent down over Jensen, shutting him up with a kiss. Jensen moaned into it, his arms circling Jared’s back. Cuddly, fuzzy arms.
“Jensen.” Jared pulled away and gazed down at him. “Take this stupid costume off.”
I Know What You Did Last Summer
They hadn’t talked about it much. But then, there wasn’t much to talk about. Jensen could pull the jealousy card. Hell, it would be easy. Part of him - a very small part of him - did wonder. Like maybe Jared would remember there were other fish in the sea; fish that weren’t as difficult to catch. Maybe Jared would remember what he’d wanted before he’d realized he’d had feelings for Jensen, and would revert back to that. Maybe Jared would miss it; miss the soft and gentle nature of a woman, compared to that of a gruff, muscled man.
Of course, if Jared was anything like Jensen, which Jensen was pretty confident he was, he fucking preferred the feel of a man to that of a woman. Watching Jared and Genevieve on set, Jensen couldn’t help but laugh, realizing that he was right. He was sure the love scene would look hot once it was shot and edited. But watching this? Was damn near hysterical. Jared had talked before about how awkward sex scenes were, and he was right. Jensen knew that from his own experiences. But this?
Jensen almost felt bad, thinking he just might have caused this a little bit. Jared had always been a big guy, dwarfing any females he was paired up with on the show. But it seemed as though he’d grown accustomed to handling someone more his size, now. It was kind of surprising, actually. Jared had spent years with Sandy, and you’d think he’d be able to tap into that in order to finish the scene. Yet, somehow, after only a couple of months with Jensen, he was having trouble doing that. Jensen couldn’t help but feel a swell of pride at that thought.
He watched as Jared lifted Genevieve into his lap, dwarfing her body with his. He snorted when Jared grabbed at her hair, as he was instructed to do, swearing that Jared’s hand was twice the size of her head. He had to hand it to Jared, though. Sam was clearly losing it, giving in, and desperately taking whatever Ruby could make him feel, his psyche completely broken. When they were in action, it was heavy and heated. But when they cut? Jared was laughing at himself, blushing in embarrassment and apologizing, awkwardly asking Genevieve if she was okay, and clearly praying for this scene to be over. The difference between the actor and the character was so plainly visible. Jensen was proud of Jared for coming so far in his career. It was kind of funny, feeling that way during one of Sam’s sex scenes. But Jared was just that damn good.
Once the scene had wrapped, Jensen watched as Jared did what any proper gentleman would do, gently setting Genevieve down and retrieving her shirt, shielding her a bit as she pulled it back on. She thanked him, and they smiled and laughed awkwardly, both heaving sighs of relief. Finally, Jared made his way over to Jensen, pulling his own shirt on. Jensen couldn’t help but start chuckling as Jared neared, and Jared blushed and ducked his head, knocking Jensen’s shoulder with his.
“What?” Jared asked defensively.
“You sure she doesn’t need to go to the ER?” Jensen joked. “Sure you didn’t break any bones, or, you know, crush her skull?”
“Shut up,” Jared laughed, pushing Jensen, his cheeks a bit redder.
“You’re kicking ass this episode, Jay, don’t get me wrong,” Jensen said sincerely. “This is the best I’ve ever seen you. And I know what you’re pulling from. It’s just, you know, someone like you isn’t meant to handle a woman.”
“No?” Jared asked, eyebrows lifting a smirk playing at his lips.
“Nope.” Jensen shook his head. “Though I’m sure the fangirls will disagree. But they haven’t seen the view from behind the scenes.” He lowered his voice a bit, just incase anybody on the crew decided to start listening in. “They haven’t seen us.”
“Some of them would like to,” Jared replied, his own voice dropping, eyes darkening. Jensen felt his stomach flutter and just grinned stupidly at Jared, keeping up the plain façade of friendship on set. And Jared could sense that, a mischievous smile spreading over his face. “Makes you hot, doesn’t it?” Jared asked, nonchalantly crossing his arms over his chest. “Makes you hard, knowing the only way that scene would really work is if it were you naked and moaning in my lap.”
“Well, it wouldn’t work in the show, because…” Jensen trailed off, nose wrinkling, still weirded out by the whole Wincest thing, even if he and Jared were fucking out of character. When it came to Sam and Dean, he still couldn’t get the brother aspect out of his head.
“Forget that. I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about real life.”
“What if it does?” Jensen shrugged, still clinging to that air of calmness, but quickly losing the battle. He stiffened a bit when Jared stepped a little closer, heat flooding his system.
“You wanna ride me, Jen?” Jared’s voice dropped even lower, and Jensen shifted, shoving his hands in his pockets, trying to disguise the growing bulge in the crotch of his jeans. “You wanna clear these fuckers outta here and show me how much better it can be?”
“Fuck, yeah, I do,” Jensen breathed, unable to keep the hint of lust out of his voice.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Lock the door,” Jared huffed, and Jensen quickly obeyed, hearing Jared turn the TV in the trailer on and up.
Jensen quickly pulled his shirt off, heart racing in his chest and cock hard in the confines of his jeans, and pulled a chair out to the middle of the floor. And then Jared was suddenly on him, also shirtless, tongue licking into his mouth and hands fumbling with his belt buckle. After roughly undressing each other, Jensen growled and shoved Jared back, hard enough for him to end up on his ass in the chair, the chair teetering backwards dangerously before Jared leaned his weight forward to settle it down again. Jared was flushed and surprised, and Jensen smirked. He thought back to how weak he’d been when Jared had first come back to Vancouver, after he’d neglected to take good care of himself for a couple of months, Jared able to carry him around like a fucking girl. Not anymore. It felt good, the way he’d been able to gain his strength back over time. And judging by the glint in Jared’s darkened eyes, both of them were enjoying the results. He dropped to his knees in front of Jared, between his legs, hands smoothing up and down Jared’s thighs. He grinned evilly, grabbing Jared’s hand and breathing heavily, dramatically, gently pressing Jared’s hand to his side.
“Are you really afraid of going there in your trailer?” Jared rolled his eyes at the teasing, and Jensen stared back at him innocently, continuing to mock Jared with his own version of Ruby’s lines. “Because it’s wrong?”
Jared’s hands were suddenly in his hair, roughly pulling him forwards, crushing Jensen’s lips with his own, the kiss strong and brutal, and Jensen gave as well as he took. That is, until Jared pulled away. And then, before Jensen could even register what was happening, one of Jared’s hands had left his head and reached down behind him, a rough slap landing on his ass. Jensen hissed and gasped, flinching at the unexpected pain, and stared at Jared, half annoyed and half amused. Jared merely nipped at his lips and smiled.
“You’re an asshole,” Jared muttered, still palming Jensen’s ass and chuckling lowly. “S’posed to be makin’ it better.” Jared’s hand moved, two fingers dipping and rubbing at Jensen’s hole. “Not makin’ it worse.”
Jensen grunted, contemplated capturing Jared’s mouth in another kiss, but then dropped his head down, immediately taking Jared’s cock in his mouth as far it could go. He heard the small, sharp cry that escaped Jared’s mouth, felt Jared’s hips buck up towards him, cock briefly hitting the back of his throat, free hand settling on the back of his head. The dry tip of one of Jared’s fingers pressed inside of him, slight burn, and Jensen moaned around Jared’s cock, digging his fingers into Jared’s thighs. He pushed back, urging Jared on, feeling him hesitating, knowing they’d never done this dry before, but fuck if Jensen cared.
“Keep going, Jay,” Jensen grunted, pulling off and licking at Jared’s shaft, tonguing just below the head. “Ain’t gonna break.”
He took Jared in his mouth again, Jared moaning softly, hand in his hair, finger thrusting deeper inside. It burned, but that didn’t keep Jensen’s cock from twitching in response. Jensen slicked Jared up with his saliva, taking him deep, and eventually two fingers were filling him, roughly pumping inside of him, leaving trails of fire in their wake. With Jared ready to open him up on three, Jensen pulled off and pulled Jared’s fingers free, standing up and stepping out to straddle Jared, wasting no time in sinking down onto him, holding Jared’s cock in place.
“Wait!” Jared’s hands gripped Jensen’s hips just as the head of his cock brushed up against Jensen’s entrance, stilling him. From Jared’s expression and the noise emanating from the back of his throat, Jensen could tell it had taken a lot of willpower to do that. “Jen…shouldn’t we…?”
“Fuck it, we’re both clean,” Jensen breathed, pulse pounding through his body. He needed this now, and he wasn’t about to press the pause button himself. He gripped Jared’s shoulder with his other hand, steadying himself. “It’ll be fine.”
“What about lu-” Jared’s words were cut off by a shuddering gasp as Jensen opened up around him. His head fell against Jensen’s chest, and Jensen felt a stutter in Jared’s hips, clearly fighting the urge to thrust up inside.
Jensen’s own mouth had fallen open, eyes squeezed shut as he slowly lowered himself onto Jared’s cock. It hurt, but was fucking amazing at the same time, Jared’s fingers already pressing bruises into his hips. He paused when they were skin-to-skin, Jared filling him completely, and leaned into Jared, both of them panting.
“Jen.” Jared’s breath puffed out against his ear. “Oh, God. Feels…A-Are you okay?”
Jensen didn’t answer, his body shaking, eyes still closed against the burn. Very slowly, he moved, lifting himself up and then back down onto Jared’s cock again, feeling the tension in Jared’s body as he fought to hold himself back.
“Yeah,” Jensen finally answered, rocking his hips a little and feeling pleasure shoot up his spine. “Yeah. ‘M okay.”
At that, Jared immediately bucked up into Jensen, the two of them groaning, and then Jensen was moving again, riding Jared, his pace slowly picking up, movements becoming more violent. And this was it. This was how much better it could be, Jared’s strong hands gripping and pulling at Jensen’s equally muscular body, his rough thrusts answered by Jensen’s harsh yank of his hair, his head jerked angrily backwards, Jensen biting at his neck. The chair shook dangerously as they pushed and pulled at each other, and Jensen was half afraid they were going to break it and half hoping that they would, slamming down onto Jared as hard as he could, unable to keep from crying out when Jared’s cock hit his prostate.
And then, just like that, he was on the floor, Jared somehow launching himself forward enough that Jensen’s back was suddenly smacking against the surface, temporarily knocking the wind out of him, Jared on top of him and still inside him, thrusting mercilessly. He was dimly aware of the sound of the chair clattering to the floor under both the sound of the television and Jared’s feral grunts, and would’ve bitched about the pain in his back if Jared hadn’t repeatedly been hitting the same spot over and over again with an almost brutal force. When he did open his mouth, he opened it on loud, needy moans that he swore only belonged in bad pornos each time Jared drove into him, and he didn’t have to see Jared’s arrogant smirk to know he’d be hearing about that later. Yet, somehow, it was impossible to stop, Jared just pushing the sounds out of him, until Jensen used his own strength to surge up and roll them over, taking his place on top of Jared again, moaning and pushing down onto Jared’s cock.
This time, it was Jared whose breath left him as his back hit the floor. But, soon after, Jensen saw his eyes roll back in his head, eyelids fluttering closed, mouth gaping open on hitched breaths. Jensen closed his own eyes and tilted his head back, lifting up and down, riding Jared hard, shivering when he felt sweat trickling down his spine. It suddenly hit him, how close he was, the ache in his balls, and he reached for his cock, only to have his hand smacked away. He opened his eyes and looked down at Jared, glaring. Jared just stared back, hips lifting to meet Jensen every time he came down.
“God,” Jensen gasped, his dick twitching of its own accord, Jared hitting all the right places. He reached for himself again, and Jared smacked his hand away a second time. “The fuck…”
He looked down, saw Jared’s abs contract as he pulled himself up to a sitting position, capturing Jensen’s lips and grabbing his wrists, pulling them behind his back and holding them in place with one large hand. Jensen grunted at the pull in his shoulders, felt Jared’s vise-like grip on his wrists, and bit down hard enough on Jared’s bottom lip to draw blood, tasting it on his tongue. Jared jerked away, and Jensen glared, all heat, as they continued fucking.
“Think you can hold me?” Jensen spat, though he didn’t attempt to free himself. Not yet. Jared tugged harder on his wrists, straining his arm muscles even more, and Jensen groaned.
“Do it,” Jared spoke in his ear, teeth nipping at the lobe. Jensen was still lifting as much as he could and slamming back down, Jared thrusting hard and meeting him, free hand on his hip, Jensen’s body sparking with pleasure. “Do it,” Jared repeated. “Without touching. Please.”
It was on odd combination of commanding and begging, but the strain in Jared’s voice meant he was close, too, and Jensen heard the unspoken, “Hurry,” Jared wanting them both to come from this. Jensen wrenched free of Jared’s grasp, his shoulders protesting the quick movement, but instead of reaching for his dick, he grabbed onto Jared’s shoulders, bringing the two of them together at just the right angle. He rested his forehead on the back of his right hand, his body beginning to tense, his balls tightening. Jared’s hands were on him, pulling him down, closer, holding him on his cock and undulating his hips. Jensen deliberately clenched his muscles around Jared, those loud, needy, porn star sounds coming from Jared now, and suddenly Jared was coming inside him, cock jerking and heat pulsing against that same spot, and Jensen cried out, his own body going rigid as he came, thick white heat over his skin.
Jared reached trembling hands under Jensen’s thighs, both of them using the last of their strength to pull Jared’s cock free of Jensen’s body, and then groaning and collapsing back, Jensen falling on top of Jared. They didn’t speak for a few minutes, hearts still pounding, lungs still fighting for air, the only sound in the room the TV, which Jensen now realized was ridiculously loud. He almost wondered how they’d even been able to tune it out enough to hear each other and keep the mood going. He flinched, not expecting the gentle touch of Jared’s finger to his aching hole, knowing he’d still be feeling that ache for some time, but that it was completely worth it.
“Sshhh,” Jared soothed, barely audible under the noise of that fucking Billy Mays. He felt Jared’s finger slide in the sticky warmth slowly leaving his body. “God, Jen,” Jared whispered, almost reverently. “That was…”
“Yeah,” Jensen mumbled against Jared’s chest, squirming when he felt the same stickiness trapped between their bodies. “Yeah, it was.” He groaned, Jared’s finger dipping inside him again, more wetness trickling out of him.
“Jesus.”
“You can call me Jensen.” He heard and felt the deep rumble of Jared’s laughter. “Clean up?”
“Yeah,” Jared answered. “Soon as I can move. Fuck. You’re strong. I mean, not that I haven’t felt it before when we’ve fucked, but just now? Shit.”
“Better than fuckin’ around with some girl, right?” Jensen asked, smiling against Jared’s skin.
“Fuck yeah. Only ever want you.”
It wasn’t meant to be one of those romantic moments or comments, but Jensen felt it in his heart, anyway, and lifted his head, leaning up to kiss Jared softly on the lips.
“Same here.”
Jared smiled up at him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“So,” Jared began, after they’d cleaned themselves up and gotten dressed, turning the TV down and unlocking the door, both of them thankful that no one had even knocked. “We still keeping this a secret at work?”
“…I thought we agreed to?” Jensen asked hesitantly, not sure if Jared was hinting that he was upset with that decision.
“Oh, we did,” Jared clarified, nodding. “Just wanted to make sure we were still on the same page about it.”
“I’m good with it, if you are.” Jensen shrugged. “I mean, it’s like we said you know? Makes it easier for us to just be Sam and Dean on set. Just family.”
“Awesome.” Jared grinned and kissed Jensen’s confusion away. “I was hoping you’d say that. Because this?” He rubbed his hands along Jensen’s biceps, rested their foreheads together, still grinning. “This is so much more fun than everyone knowing.” Jensen chuckled.
“You would say that.”
“It’s true,” Jared insisted. “All the really important people in our lives know, and it’s fun to have this still. This, ‘Oh, no! They don’t know! Let’s sneak off to our trailers and fuck! Sshh! We might get caught!’” Jensen laughed out loud at Jared’s theatrics, the other man’s fearful expression and flailing arms.
“You’re an idiot,” he teased, pushing him. But he couldn’t argue with what Jared had said. It was a hell of a lot of fun.
Heaven and Hell
“I thought Dean was supposed to be badass?” Jared asked, shoving another handful of gummies in his mouth as he sat in Jensen’s trailer.
“He is.”
“Pfft!” Jensen turned to him, raising a questioning eyebrow. “If our sex life was like that,” Jared continued, having watched Jensen film his scene with Julie, “I’d be bored outta my skull. Dean’s supposed to be feisty, rowdy, down ‘n’ dirty. That’s not what that was. Since when is he all gentle with the ladies he screws?”
“Hey, hey!” Jensen said, holding up a hand and completely abandoning his focus on the football game they’d been watching. “First off, Dean is definitely all of those things, but he’s not that much of a dick! Sure, he fucks a lot of women, but no one’s ever said he hasn’t respected them, treated them right. He doesn’t screw anybody who isn’t asking for it, and he doesn’t do anything they don’t want to do. If they want it slow and gentle, he takes it slow and gentle. But he’s damn sure done it all kinds of different ways, and done it well. It just takes a different kind of woman. Besides, this girl was an angel, right? So, he has to, like, watch his back and be on his best behavior, you know, sexually. Else, she’ll like…strike him down with lightning later, or somethin’.”
Jared fucking loved it when Jensen got so defensive about his character. He cocked his head and pursed his lips, trying to look thoughtful.
“…So, no angel facials?”
“You’re sick, Jared,” Jensen answered flatly, grabbing his beer and taking a swig. “I’mma get Dr. Anderson on the phone, tell him you’re sick. Fuckin’ nympho, or somethin’.”
“No golden showers?” Jared pressed on, and Jensen rolled his eyes. “I mean, they sound heavenly. You’d think she’d be into that kind of stuff.”
“Sick,” Jensen repeated, and Jared could see him fighting off a smile. “You’re sick. Besides, the network would never let us get away with having Dean piss on an angel.” Jared snorted.
“Be pretty funny, though, if Uriel somehow figured that out about you, too. ‘You pissed on some angel food cake.’”
“Right, right,” Jensen nodded, voice still calm, as if this was just your everyday normal conversation. “And then Dean reminds Uriel that he’s just jealous, because he doesn’t have a dick.”
“And then Dean and Anna get it on some more. In front of Uriel. Just to make him even more jealous. Do some nasty shit.”
“Yeah, you know, fuckin’…one angel, one cup.”
“OH!” Jared balked and gaped at Jensen, who merely grinned back at him. “DUDE! Now who’s sick??”
“Just makin’ sure you’re payin’ attention,” Jensen laughed, taking another swig of beer. There was a pause, and then, “So, you think you’d be bored, huh?”
“Wouldn’t you?” Jared asked, looking over and seeing Jensen shrug nonchalantly. “I mean, Christ, with the way we fuck…”
“Never made love to anyone, Jay?” Jared hesitated, wanted to make a crack about Jensen being hormonal and actually using the phrase “made love,” but Jensen seemed oddly…serious. “You know, sometimes, when you go slow…” Jared’s eyes dropped down Jensen’s body, watching as Jensen’s hand came to rest on his inner thigh, thumb brushing over his crotch, “It can be nice. Feel real good.” Jensen palmed himself. Once. Took another swig of beer, and then kept talking. “Sometimes it’s nice to slow down. Make you feel every inch, on every slide.” Jensen’s hips lifted in the bare imitation of a thrust, and Jared’s eyes were glued to the hard ridge in Jensen’s jeans. “Make it all build up real slow inside you, drive you crazy.”
Jared stared. And Jensen said nothing more about it. Jared stared as Jensen drank his beer and watched the game. And when they were back on set, Jensen stared. Jared could feel it, whenever his back was turned, and when he’d look around to seek Jensen out, his breath would catch in his throat at the look in Jensen’s eyes. It was smooth and secretive, only done between takes, but it was burning Jared from the inside out. It wasn’t the same animalistic “gonna fuck you hard” look Jensen usually gave him. It was different. There was this slow burning heat behind the vibrant green in Jensen’s eyes. Jared’s heart rate was jacked, and he was anxious, impatient to get home and face Jensen alone. But Jensen? Jensen was calm and collected, every muscle in his body relaxed, the only thing standing out his confident, passionate gaze. Jared tried to mimic Jensen’s attitude and just take it all in stride, but it was impossible, and he cursed Jensen for having this strong of an effect on him.
Home. The dogs running to the back door to be let out. Home. Alone. Jared almost couldn’t believe it, immediately grabbing for Jensen as soon as the front door had closed behind them and pushing him up against it. But Jensen’s hands gripped his shoulders, gentle force pushing him away and settling him down, Jensen leaning forward and kissing him softly.
“I’ll take care of the dogs,” Jensen said quietly, all patience and calm. “You go on upstairs to the bedroom. Wait for me.”
And just like that, Jensen was gone, slow Texas gait to the back of the house, leaving Jared alone, the extra body warmth gone. Jared let his head fall against the door, standing there for a few seconds, his stomach in knots and his dick half hard, the same way he’d felt all day. There was something unnerving about the way Jensen had been acting, though Jared wasn’t exactly sure what it was, other than the obvious way it contrasted with Jared’s own personality. He turned and climbed the stairs, heading for the bedroom, where he kicked his shoes off and then stood in the middle of the floor, unsure of what to do. He was standing there wringing his hands together when Jensen came in behind him, chuckling and wrapping arms around his waist, lips pressing gently against the back of his neck.
“Calm down,” Jensen soothed, warm hands reaching beneath Jared’s shirt and smoothing up over his chest. Jared leaned back and heaved out a sigh. “Try to show a guy you love him, and he freaks out,” Jensen muttered, playfully annoyed, and Jared smiled and ducked his head.
“Sorry,” he apologized. “It’s just different.”
“That’s the point.”
He turned in time to see Jensen closing the bedroom door and locking it, and his stomach fluttered. They’d never locked the door. There’d never been a reason to. And that simple act somehow made this even more close and intimate. Jensen backed him up towards the bed, silently instructing him to lay back on it. Jared stared up at Jensen, who stood between his legs at the foot of the bed and reached to pull his shirt up over his head. Jared’s pulse quickened a bit, dick growing harder, watching Jensen’s muscles contract with the movement as they were exposed, the shirt tossed aside. Jensen’s eyes connected with his, holding his gaze, and Jared felt that nervous twitch in his hands again. Jensen leaned over and pushed his hands beneath Jared’s shirt again, slowly tugging it up and off.
“Not used to this, are you?” Jensen whispered, brushing his lips against Jared’s before catching his eye again. “The attention?” His hands traveled down Jared’s body to the waistband of his jeans, but he never broke eye contact, and Jared squirmed, finally shaking his head in response to Jensen’s question. Jensen kissed him again, deftly unbuttoning his jeans and pulling the zipper down. “Shouldn’t make you nervous, Jay.”
Jared blushed, knowing it was stupid. It wasn’t as if they’d never done this before, or they didn’t know how they felt about each other. But frantic, rough fucking had been their specialty up until now. And Jared couldn’t remember anybody ever taking him in like this, all slow precision and intent focus. Nobody had ever looked at him like that. And now, Jensen was pulling back and standing up, tugging on Jared’s jeans, the denim slowly gliding over his legs, Jensen’s eyes seeking his the entire time. It made him hard, there was no mistaking that now, but it also made him nervous, feeling more exposed than he usually did. And he wasn’t even completely naked yet. Jensen nudged him, and Jared took the cue to scoot further up the bed, Jensen crawling up onto it and hovering over him, settling between his legs and drawing him into a kiss, tongue probing inside.
“Relax,” Jensen muttered against Jared’s lips. His fingers lightly skimmed down Jared’s sides, his lips slipping down to Jared’s neck, and then he was pulling away again, kneeling and pulling Jared’s boxers off. Jensen reached out, fingers lightly teasing his balls and stroking up his shaft, and Jared twitched and moaned, suddenly more aware of the sensations in his body than he’d ever been. “Relax,” Jensen repeated, smiling at him.
Their eyes connected again, and Jared felt himself falling into it, hands a little less shaky. He pushed himself up into a sitting position, Jensen still kneeling between his legs, and kissed him, their mouths opening, tongues swirling around each other. Jared reached down between them, opening Jensen’s jeans, and he felt Jensen sag slightly, a relieved sigh puffing into his mouth. Reaching inside, he realized that Jensen was achingly hard, rewarding his touch with a thrust and a whine.
A few minutes later, Jared was slowly lowered onto his back again, Jensen naked on top of him, lubed fingers gently probing at his entrance. Jensen kissed him while he slowly opened him up with his fingers, stroking inside and stilling them whenever Jared would push, trying to force him to go faster, rougher. It was an outright refusal, Jensen dragging it out so that Jared’s entire body was thrumming with need and anticipation. Finally, three fingers were leaving his body, Jensen positioning himself between Jared’s legs and grabbing for a condom.
“No,” Jared ground out, hand shooting out to grip Jensen’s wrist, the unopened condom between Jensen’s fingers. Jared pulled it away and tossed it off onto the floor, and Jensen raised his eyebrows.
“Are you sure?”
“You trusted me,” Jared said, grabbing the hand Jensen still held in the air and linking their fingers together. “You let me. I want you. Wanna feel it.” He pulled his hand away after Jensen squeezed in response and reached for the lube, coating his own fingers with it and reaching down between them, stroking Jensen’s cock just as slowly as Jensen had fingered him, thoroughly slicking every inch of it. He kissed Jensen and relaxed into the mattress, wrapping his legs around Jensen’s body. “Please.”
Jensen’s eyes were on his again as he pressed in, a long, slow slide, Jared stretching around him, lost in the feel of Jensen filling him and in the green of Jensen’s eyes. Jensen’s arms were around him, Jared’s dick trapped between their bodies, and Jared felt the slow drag of Jensen’s cock pulling out of his body, the gentle thrust back inside. Jensen built a rhythm, a slow, torturous one. It was just as Jensen had said. Jared could feel every inch of Jensen on every slide. Each thrust was measured and full, Jensen’s balls pressing up against Jared’s ass, his dick pressing deliberately where Jared so desperately needed it. And Jared suddenly decided that this “making love” thing? It wasn’t so bad. Jensen was making it good, making it last and build up, both of their bodies hot and slick with sweat.
“Love you, Jared,” Jensen murmured on a shuddering breath, his hand moving between their bodies, playing over the ridges of Jared’s abs. His fingers loosely circled and stroked Jared’s cock, and Jared whimpered and thrust upward in response. “Love you.”
Those spoken words had been the loudest sound in the room thus far, another thing that Jared wasn’t used to, his heart pounding in his chest. Animalistic grunts and shouts and screams were the norm in their bedroom. But this time, Jared could feel the focus of it, the room quiet, aside from their harsh breathing, the rustling of sheets, and low moans. Jared felt his stomach flutter again, and he reached up to grab for Jensen, pulling him in and bringing their lips together, Jensen’s lazy kisses just as slow and smooth as his thrusts and his hand on Jared’s dick.
Jared could feel his orgasm building, and it was driving him insane, his body on fire, needing and wanting, and Jensen drawing it out of him so slowly, he thought he might just fucking burst. He could feel his entire body trembling, each and every muscle start to quiver. Everything was in slow motion, in full detail, intense. Every inch of Jensen’s dick, every breath in both of their bodies, every bead of sweat, every flash of heat, every muscle beginning to freeze up and tense.
“Fuck,” Jensen sputtered, his lips pulling away from Jared’s, dropping his head against the curve of Jared’s neck. “Fuck.”
That last curse was almost a sob, and Jared knew that Jensen was vocalizing exactly what they were both feeling. It was intense pleasure, almost to the point of pain. It was an agony that felt so good, Jared was damn near convulsing with it when he finally came, his own heat spilling over Jensen’s fingers and coating his stomach as Jensen’s filled him inside. They shared moans and broken cries, the force of Jensen’s orgasm causing him to send a violent thrust into Jared’s body, Jared’s dick twitching and spurting one last time in response.
Jensen tiredly kissed him again as he pulled out, Jared groaning at the sudden loss. He expected Jensen to flop next to him on the bed, both of them clearly exhausted. Instead, Jensen moved down the bed, licking his fingers clean before gently holding Jared still while he swiped his tongue through the mess on Jared’s stomach, his spent dick. Jared gasped and squirmed, oversensitive after his orgasm, then lifted his head and watched, settling a hand on Jensen’s head, thumb stroking his cheek.
He watched as Jensen shakily stood, offering him a small smile as he walked off to the bathroom, reappearing with a warm, wet washcloth, Jared gratefully accepting the gentle cleanup. Finished, Jensen finally flopped down next to him, and Jared turned on his side to face him, shifting a little.
“Can still feel you inside me,” he said, smiling a little.
“Yeah, well, that’s how it is when you’ve got come in your ass.”
“Man,” Jared said, laughing at Jensen’s nonchalant posture, hands resting behind his head. “That how it is? Earlier, you’re all eloquent, talking about ‘making love,’ and now that it’s over, you’re just a crude bastard?”
“Something like that,” Jensen responded, grinning.
“Well,” Jared wrapped his arms around Jensen, snuggling in close, “You proved me wrong. Congratulations, Jensen. You’ve officially made me your bitch.”
“So you weren’t bored?”
“Not by a long shot.”
“Good.”
Silence settled over them, and Jared let the minutes tick away, listening to Jensen’s heartbeat. He held Jensen tighter, felt Jensen’s arm loop around his body to caress his back.
“Thank you,” he said quietly, feeling himself blush as he said it. It felt and sounded stupid, but something prompted him to say it, breaking the silence that surrounded them. “I mean, no one’s ever…I’ve never felt…”
“You know, the thing about Dean,” Jensen started, after Jared had trailed off uselessly, “Or, the thing about Dean and Anna, I guess…Is that she knew. She knew about all the horrible things he’d done, when he was in Hell. She knew, and she didn’t look down on him, didn’t treat him like a monster. She forgave him…fucking forgave him…which made him feel…” He paused, and Jared could tell he was searching for the right words. “When she did that, she gave him more than he ever could’ve hoped for. That’s why it was like that. That’s why he made love to her. It was all about feeling. She made him feel something inside of him that went past everything he didn’t want to acknowledge. And he wanted to give her something in return. He wanted her to feel loved before she had to leave.”
Jared nodded against Jensen’s chest. He got it. It’d been the same with Sam and Ruby, in a way. Both scenes were about the characters being desperate to feel something other than the horrible guilt and suffering they’d been consumed with for so long. They were just carried out differently, and it was obvious why they had been, after what Jensen had said.
“It’s the same with you.” Jared lifted his head to look at Jensen at that quiet admission. “You knew what I went through, what I did, how I hurt you. And you got me past it. You made me feel again. And I just wanted to…show you…”
“Jensen,” Jared said softly. And this time, when Jensen made eye contact, he wasn’t so sure of himself. Jensen was just as vulnerable and exposed as Jared had felt earlier, his eyes almost pleading with Jared to just understand and not talk about it any longer. Jared laughed lightly, feeling warm and sated, and nipped at Jensen’s bottom lip. “You’re a big fucking girl, you know that?”
“A big fucking girl who just made you his bitch,” Jensen answered, relaxed and grinning. “Or, you know, her bitch. Whatever. I’m not a girl. Bitch.”
“Yeah,” Jared said, laying his head back down. “I love you, too.”
Forty Years
New Sensation
Pairing: J2
Rating: NC-17
Word Count:8,091
Warnings: Some angst, but mostly silliness and sex. Spoilers for episodes 4.04, 4.08, 4.09, and 4.10.
Disclaimer: Yeah, I wish.
Synopsis/Notes: Throughout the actual story, I took the guys through filming the episodes of season four, throwing in little things about the episodes as sort of mile markers. These four snippets are for the episodes I didn't cover. The first one is the only one that should actually take place during the actual story, and, in my head, fits in between the first and second scenes in the ninth chapter. The others come after the original story. You don't necessarily have to have read the full story to understand these. Especially not the one for 4.08. That one's just plain silly and fun. But, if you'd like to read it, you can check out the master post here.
Metamorphosis
Filming episode five was both easy and difficult, if that was even possible. They’d always had fun with the episodes where Sam and Dean fought and argued. For Jensen, it felt a little more like acting; like stepping into an alternate reality. He and Jared had never fought the way Sam and Dean did, so it was fun to turn around and start yelling at each other, turning up the volume and stepping each other up. So, even though those episodes usually ended with some heartbroken fans, Jensen and Jared always looked forward to them. It was different, it was new, and they complemented each other so well that it felt like electricity crackling between them. It was exciting.
But this time? This time was different. Before, Sam and Dean’s arguments had been exciting because Jared and Jensen knew that nothing like that would ever happen in real life. Or, at least, that was what they’d thought. But now it had happened. After what they’d been through, it was even easier to get there and get the fire going between them on set. And that disturbed Jensen so much that he deliberately goofed off between takes. They’d always kept the mood on set light, but Jensen was going for the gold, even getting the week’s guest star in on the fun. And every so often, he’d discreetly brush up against Jared, and Jared would grab his fingers for just a second and look at him, catching his eyes and silently saying, “It’s okay. It’s all over. You’re not hurting me.”
Jared knew. Jared knew without Jensen even saying anything that it bothered him, how easily he could slip into Dean’s skin and start yelling at Sam, cruel words pouring from his lips, sending a fist into Sam’s face. Twice. Because he’d done it in real life. He could pull from a true experience, now. He’d hurt Jared, verbally and physically, and now Dean was doing the same to Sam, and getting the same sad reaction. And Jared was here, telling him that it was all okay. It made him reluctant to tell Jared the whole truth about why he’d done what he did, knowing that it would hurt, and that it would stick with Jared for the rest of his life. At the same time, he owed Jared. He owed Jared more than he’d ever owe anybody in this lifetime. And while he could never repay Jared enough for saving his life, he could at least give him the truth that he wanted.
He went to Jared’s trailer, knocking and opening the door, and caught Jared pausing what he’d been watching. Glancing at the TV screen, Jensen saw himself, tears in his eyes, and recognized the scene from the week before. He closed the door behind himself and stepped further into the trailer, Jared standing and moving towards him, hands pulling him closer.
“You’re amazing, Jen, you know that?” Jared whispered, leaning down and pressing his lips against Jensen’s. “Fucking heartbreaking. Amazing.”
“You too,” Jensen said, and he meant it. Jared’s portrayal of Sam in this episode was off the damn chain, and he wanted Jared to know it. And it wasn’t just because of the baggage he’d been carrying about Jared for the past few months. Jensen could tell, even if he was an outsider, he’d be blown away by Jared’s performance. “You were great today. Made it easy to feel Dean’s pain; how much it tore him up inside to see you like that.”
“I hope it was just Dean’s pain,” Jared answered, stepping back a bit, eyes searching Jensen’s expression. “I know what you’re thinking. And you don’t have to beat yourself up over it. It’s over.”
“I haven’t told you everything,” Jensen said, lowering his eyes and shaking his head.
“You will.” Jared was close again, pulling him in. “And to be honest, I don’t really give a fuck what it is. I mean, I wanna know,” he clarified, smiling, lips closing in again. “But, no matter what it is, I’ll still want to make out with you in my trailer between takes.” Jensen grinned.
“I thought you were still heartbroken over Dean crying.”
“I am,” Jared said, his expression changing as he cupped Jensen’s face in his hands, bringing their lips together. “So good, Jen. You’re so good.”
Jensen batted Jared’s hands away and caught him in a kiss, Jared’s mouth opening on a moan, and Jensen’s tongue darting inside. Jared’s hands were on him again, everywhere, and Jensen responded in kind. They didn’t have much time, making out and groping probably all they’d be able to do, despite the hard-on Jared was grinding against Jensen’s thigh.
“Jensen,” Jared was muttering suddenly, breathing heavily. “I want…want more.”
“Whatever you want,” Jensen groaned, Jared still rubbing against him as he nipped lightly at Jared’s neck, his jaw. “Whatever you want, Jay, I’ll give it.” He was driven by the heat between them, dropping to his knees in front of Jared, looking up at him, his hands on Jared’s thighs. He smirked at the dark, needy look Jared gave him. “You want that blowjob, Jay? I’ll give it.”
He watched Jared let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding, felt Jared’s hand slide into his hair and cradle his head, and he closed his eyes and leaned into the touch before leaning forward. With his eyes still closed, he nudged Jared’s jean-covered erection with his nose before parting his lips and just barely mouthing Jared through the clothing. And fuck, now he wanted it, too, surprised at his own urges. But Jared’s broken moan preceded a knock at the door, and Jensen reluctantly stood, Jared’s hand falling to his side. The door opened, a crew member letting them know they were needed on set. They grunted their responses, and then they were left alone again. Jensen smiled and pulled Jared in for another kiss, biting down on Jared’s bottom lip as he pulled away, their foreheads resting together.
“Tonight,” he said. “Tonight, you can have more.”
“Promise?” Jared asked, his hand reaching for Jensen’s and squeezing it. “God, I need you. Need to touch you.”
“I promise.” They separated and headed out the door and off to set together. “Tonight.”
Wishful Thinking
“Seriously?” Jared asked for about the millionth time. Jensen huffed in response, the hand holding his book dropping into his lap and his head dropping exasperatedly back against the headboard, glasses perched on his nose.
“Yes, Jared,” Jensen answered flatly. “I am actually reading in bed. People do that, you know.”
“Sure, old people do,” Jared retorted, Jensen rolling his eyes and laughing. “I’m just sayin’. You’re only thirty. You’re not supposed to start turning down your hot and horny boyfriend for a fucking book until you’re at least, like…I dunno, seventy-five, or something.”
“Jay, when do we ever get to do anything relaxing? Anything at all?” Jensen only waited a fraction of a second for Jared to hesitate before continuing. “Exactly. Can’t I at least finish just one chapter? Besides, I just blew you like a half an hour ago.”
“It was an hour ago,” Jared clarified quickly, as if it really made a difference. Well, hell, it did for him.
“Whatever, it doesn’t even matter,” Jensen said, lifting the book back up in front of his face. “It’s not like I’m ‘turning you down,’ as you put it. I mean, shit, I can still taste you in my mouth.”
“Come on, man,” Jared persisted. “Fuck, you’re even wearing pajamas. You never wear pajamas!” The exasperated head loll and book drop was back again.
“It’s cold!” Jensen said, turning to Jared and spreading his hands open defensively.
“This house does have heat, you know,” Jared said, grabbing the book out of Jensen’s hand and tossing it away. Jensen glared at him. “I turned it up earlier. Plus?” He lifted the covers in his hand. “They’re called blankets, dude. Besides, if we fuck, you won’t even need the blankets. That’ll warm you up right quick.”
“Fine!” Jensen snapped, his voice rising, as he threw the covers back and got out of bed.
“Dude, where are you going?” Jared asked, sitting up.
“I’ll be right back!”
The bathroom door slammed, and Jared felt his heart drop. Shit. He’d pissed Jensen off. He hadn’t meant to. He didn’t think he would. He’d been after Jensen for sex almost nonstop for a while, now, and it had never bothered Jensen before. Jensen had seemed to enjoy it as much as he had. Oh, God. Jared dropped his head in his hands. Annoying. He was being fucking annoying. That was the problem. Constantly needing and whining and groping. Of course Jensen would get fed up after the eleventy-billionth time. He was just contemplating his apology when he heard the bathroom door open again, and he looked up at the doorway expectantly, hoping Jensen would come back in to talk to him.
“HOLY SHIT!”
Jared nearly jumped out of his skin when a large dark shape suddenly filled the doorway, his heart hammering in his chest.
“I’m all yours, Jared!”
Jared froze, the whole scene taking a minute to sink in. The panic faded, and he suddenly realized what the fuck he was staring at. It was that goddamn teddy bear they’d been faced with in the episode they’d been filming this week. The giant fucking teddy bear, big dark eyes staring at him, arms outstretched…with Jensen inside.
His jaw dropped and his face reddened, feeling like a complete ass for the way he’d reacted. Looking down, he realized he was standing. While he hadn’t actually jumped out of his skin, he had jumped out from under the sheets, the jolt of energy sending him up onto his feet. He was standing on the bed, stark naked, scared to death by Jensen in a giant teddy bear costume. Oh, he was never going to live this down.
“What’s the matter?” Jensen’s muffled voice asked through the mouth of the teddy bear. Large paws plodded across the floor to the bed, stepping up onto it and standing in front of Jared. Jared watched, jaw still hanging open, as one big teddy paw landed over the nonexistent teddy crotch, the big teddy body grinding against it. “Don’t you want me, baby?”
He could hear that Jensen was barely holding back his laughter, and fought back the surge of giggles bubbling up in his chest.
“You…are an asshole,” he said, trying his best to glare.
And then Jensen’s bark of laughter filled the room from beneath the teddy bear head. Jared couldn’t help but join in as he watched the bear collapse in hysterics, teddy arms circling its stomach as it fell back on the bed.
“Ass…hole,” Jared breathed between bouts of laughter. “You…How long have you been waiting to do that?”
“Oh, God.” He heard Jensen trying to get himself back under control. “Man…I was just waiting for the right moment. And it was so worth it. You should’ve seen your face!”
Jensen cracked up laughing again, and Jared couldn’t take it anymore, reaching over and pulling the head off of the teddy bear costume, needing to see Jensen’s face. He was rewarded with Jensen’s open-mouthed smile, laughter pouring out of him, face red and sweaty, both from laughing and from being encased in the costume.
“That was pretty pathetic, Jen,” Jared said, still laughing. “Waiting all this time and setting me up like that, just to pull a childish prank? Where the hell did you hide that thing, anyway? I didn’t even know you had it.”
“Not telling,” Jensen said, grinning like a five-year-old and shaking his head back and forth. “And it wasn’t pathetic. It was awesome. You know it was. You fucking screamed and jumped up on the bed, dick flapping in the wind and everything.”
“Look at you!” Jared laughed, lifting one of the bear arms off the bed and letting it drop. “People think I’m the crazy one.” Jensen pointed a cuddly bear paw at him, donning a serious expression.
“Don’t change the subject!” he admonished, and Jared smacked the paw away, Jensen gaping in horror. “You would hit a poor defenseless teddy be-”
Jared bent down over Jensen, shutting him up with a kiss. Jensen moaned into it, his arms circling Jared’s back. Cuddly, fuzzy arms.
“Jensen.” Jared pulled away and gazed down at him. “Take this stupid costume off.”
I Know What You Did Last Summer
They hadn’t talked about it much. But then, there wasn’t much to talk about. Jensen could pull the jealousy card. Hell, it would be easy. Part of him - a very small part of him - did wonder. Like maybe Jared would remember there were other fish in the sea; fish that weren’t as difficult to catch. Maybe Jared would remember what he’d wanted before he’d realized he’d had feelings for Jensen, and would revert back to that. Maybe Jared would miss it; miss the soft and gentle nature of a woman, compared to that of a gruff, muscled man.
Of course, if Jared was anything like Jensen, which Jensen was pretty confident he was, he fucking preferred the feel of a man to that of a woman. Watching Jared and Genevieve on set, Jensen couldn’t help but laugh, realizing that he was right. He was sure the love scene would look hot once it was shot and edited. But watching this? Was damn near hysterical. Jared had talked before about how awkward sex scenes were, and he was right. Jensen knew that from his own experiences. But this?
Jensen almost felt bad, thinking he just might have caused this a little bit. Jared had always been a big guy, dwarfing any females he was paired up with on the show. But it seemed as though he’d grown accustomed to handling someone more his size, now. It was kind of surprising, actually. Jared had spent years with Sandy, and you’d think he’d be able to tap into that in order to finish the scene. Yet, somehow, after only a couple of months with Jensen, he was having trouble doing that. Jensen couldn’t help but feel a swell of pride at that thought.
He watched as Jared lifted Genevieve into his lap, dwarfing her body with his. He snorted when Jared grabbed at her hair, as he was instructed to do, swearing that Jared’s hand was twice the size of her head. He had to hand it to Jared, though. Sam was clearly losing it, giving in, and desperately taking whatever Ruby could make him feel, his psyche completely broken. When they were in action, it was heavy and heated. But when they cut? Jared was laughing at himself, blushing in embarrassment and apologizing, awkwardly asking Genevieve if she was okay, and clearly praying for this scene to be over. The difference between the actor and the character was so plainly visible. Jensen was proud of Jared for coming so far in his career. It was kind of funny, feeling that way during one of Sam’s sex scenes. But Jared was just that damn good.
Once the scene had wrapped, Jensen watched as Jared did what any proper gentleman would do, gently setting Genevieve down and retrieving her shirt, shielding her a bit as she pulled it back on. She thanked him, and they smiled and laughed awkwardly, both heaving sighs of relief. Finally, Jared made his way over to Jensen, pulling his own shirt on. Jensen couldn’t help but start chuckling as Jared neared, and Jared blushed and ducked his head, knocking Jensen’s shoulder with his.
“What?” Jared asked defensively.
“You sure she doesn’t need to go to the ER?” Jensen joked. “Sure you didn’t break any bones, or, you know, crush her skull?”
“Shut up,” Jared laughed, pushing Jensen, his cheeks a bit redder.
“You’re kicking ass this episode, Jay, don’t get me wrong,” Jensen said sincerely. “This is the best I’ve ever seen you. And I know what you’re pulling from. It’s just, you know, someone like you isn’t meant to handle a woman.”
“No?” Jared asked, eyebrows lifting a smirk playing at his lips.
“Nope.” Jensen shook his head. “Though I’m sure the fangirls will disagree. But they haven’t seen the view from behind the scenes.” He lowered his voice a bit, just incase anybody on the crew decided to start listening in. “They haven’t seen us.”
“Some of them would like to,” Jared replied, his own voice dropping, eyes darkening. Jensen felt his stomach flutter and just grinned stupidly at Jared, keeping up the plain façade of friendship on set. And Jared could sense that, a mischievous smile spreading over his face. “Makes you hot, doesn’t it?” Jared asked, nonchalantly crossing his arms over his chest. “Makes you hard, knowing the only way that scene would really work is if it were you naked and moaning in my lap.”
“Well, it wouldn’t work in the show, because…” Jensen trailed off, nose wrinkling, still weirded out by the whole Wincest thing, even if he and Jared were fucking out of character. When it came to Sam and Dean, he still couldn’t get the brother aspect out of his head.
“Forget that. I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about real life.”
“What if it does?” Jensen shrugged, still clinging to that air of calmness, but quickly losing the battle. He stiffened a bit when Jared stepped a little closer, heat flooding his system.
“You wanna ride me, Jen?” Jared’s voice dropped even lower, and Jensen shifted, shoving his hands in his pockets, trying to disguise the growing bulge in the crotch of his jeans. “You wanna clear these fuckers outta here and show me how much better it can be?”
“Fuck, yeah, I do,” Jensen breathed, unable to keep the hint of lust out of his voice.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Lock the door,” Jared huffed, and Jensen quickly obeyed, hearing Jared turn the TV in the trailer on and up.
Jensen quickly pulled his shirt off, heart racing in his chest and cock hard in the confines of his jeans, and pulled a chair out to the middle of the floor. And then Jared was suddenly on him, also shirtless, tongue licking into his mouth and hands fumbling with his belt buckle. After roughly undressing each other, Jensen growled and shoved Jared back, hard enough for him to end up on his ass in the chair, the chair teetering backwards dangerously before Jared leaned his weight forward to settle it down again. Jared was flushed and surprised, and Jensen smirked. He thought back to how weak he’d been when Jared had first come back to Vancouver, after he’d neglected to take good care of himself for a couple of months, Jared able to carry him around like a fucking girl. Not anymore. It felt good, the way he’d been able to gain his strength back over time. And judging by the glint in Jared’s darkened eyes, both of them were enjoying the results. He dropped to his knees in front of Jared, between his legs, hands smoothing up and down Jared’s thighs. He grinned evilly, grabbing Jared’s hand and breathing heavily, dramatically, gently pressing Jared’s hand to his side.
“Are you really afraid of going there in your trailer?” Jared rolled his eyes at the teasing, and Jensen stared back at him innocently, continuing to mock Jared with his own version of Ruby’s lines. “Because it’s wrong?”
Jared’s hands were suddenly in his hair, roughly pulling him forwards, crushing Jensen’s lips with his own, the kiss strong and brutal, and Jensen gave as well as he took. That is, until Jared pulled away. And then, before Jensen could even register what was happening, one of Jared’s hands had left his head and reached down behind him, a rough slap landing on his ass. Jensen hissed and gasped, flinching at the unexpected pain, and stared at Jared, half annoyed and half amused. Jared merely nipped at his lips and smiled.
“You’re an asshole,” Jared muttered, still palming Jensen’s ass and chuckling lowly. “S’posed to be makin’ it better.” Jared’s hand moved, two fingers dipping and rubbing at Jensen’s hole. “Not makin’ it worse.”
Jensen grunted, contemplated capturing Jared’s mouth in another kiss, but then dropped his head down, immediately taking Jared’s cock in his mouth as far it could go. He heard the small, sharp cry that escaped Jared’s mouth, felt Jared’s hips buck up towards him, cock briefly hitting the back of his throat, free hand settling on the back of his head. The dry tip of one of Jared’s fingers pressed inside of him, slight burn, and Jensen moaned around Jared’s cock, digging his fingers into Jared’s thighs. He pushed back, urging Jared on, feeling him hesitating, knowing they’d never done this dry before, but fuck if Jensen cared.
“Keep going, Jay,” Jensen grunted, pulling off and licking at Jared’s shaft, tonguing just below the head. “Ain’t gonna break.”
He took Jared in his mouth again, Jared moaning softly, hand in his hair, finger thrusting deeper inside. It burned, but that didn’t keep Jensen’s cock from twitching in response. Jensen slicked Jared up with his saliva, taking him deep, and eventually two fingers were filling him, roughly pumping inside of him, leaving trails of fire in their wake. With Jared ready to open him up on three, Jensen pulled off and pulled Jared’s fingers free, standing up and stepping out to straddle Jared, wasting no time in sinking down onto him, holding Jared’s cock in place.
“Wait!” Jared’s hands gripped Jensen’s hips just as the head of his cock brushed up against Jensen’s entrance, stilling him. From Jared’s expression and the noise emanating from the back of his throat, Jensen could tell it had taken a lot of willpower to do that. “Jen…shouldn’t we…?”
“Fuck it, we’re both clean,” Jensen breathed, pulse pounding through his body. He needed this now, and he wasn’t about to press the pause button himself. He gripped Jared’s shoulder with his other hand, steadying himself. “It’ll be fine.”
“What about lu-” Jared’s words were cut off by a shuddering gasp as Jensen opened up around him. His head fell against Jensen’s chest, and Jensen felt a stutter in Jared’s hips, clearly fighting the urge to thrust up inside.
Jensen’s own mouth had fallen open, eyes squeezed shut as he slowly lowered himself onto Jared’s cock. It hurt, but was fucking amazing at the same time, Jared’s fingers already pressing bruises into his hips. He paused when they were skin-to-skin, Jared filling him completely, and leaned into Jared, both of them panting.
“Jen.” Jared’s breath puffed out against his ear. “Oh, God. Feels…A-Are you okay?”
Jensen didn’t answer, his body shaking, eyes still closed against the burn. Very slowly, he moved, lifting himself up and then back down onto Jared’s cock again, feeling the tension in Jared’s body as he fought to hold himself back.
“Yeah,” Jensen finally answered, rocking his hips a little and feeling pleasure shoot up his spine. “Yeah. ‘M okay.”
At that, Jared immediately bucked up into Jensen, the two of them groaning, and then Jensen was moving again, riding Jared, his pace slowly picking up, movements becoming more violent. And this was it. This was how much better it could be, Jared’s strong hands gripping and pulling at Jensen’s equally muscular body, his rough thrusts answered by Jensen’s harsh yank of his hair, his head jerked angrily backwards, Jensen biting at his neck. The chair shook dangerously as they pushed and pulled at each other, and Jensen was half afraid they were going to break it and half hoping that they would, slamming down onto Jared as hard as he could, unable to keep from crying out when Jared’s cock hit his prostate.
And then, just like that, he was on the floor, Jared somehow launching himself forward enough that Jensen’s back was suddenly smacking against the surface, temporarily knocking the wind out of him, Jared on top of him and still inside him, thrusting mercilessly. He was dimly aware of the sound of the chair clattering to the floor under both the sound of the television and Jared’s feral grunts, and would’ve bitched about the pain in his back if Jared hadn’t repeatedly been hitting the same spot over and over again with an almost brutal force. When he did open his mouth, he opened it on loud, needy moans that he swore only belonged in bad pornos each time Jared drove into him, and he didn’t have to see Jared’s arrogant smirk to know he’d be hearing about that later. Yet, somehow, it was impossible to stop, Jared just pushing the sounds out of him, until Jensen used his own strength to surge up and roll them over, taking his place on top of Jared again, moaning and pushing down onto Jared’s cock.
This time, it was Jared whose breath left him as his back hit the floor. But, soon after, Jensen saw his eyes roll back in his head, eyelids fluttering closed, mouth gaping open on hitched breaths. Jensen closed his own eyes and tilted his head back, lifting up and down, riding Jared hard, shivering when he felt sweat trickling down his spine. It suddenly hit him, how close he was, the ache in his balls, and he reached for his cock, only to have his hand smacked away. He opened his eyes and looked down at Jared, glaring. Jared just stared back, hips lifting to meet Jensen every time he came down.
“God,” Jensen gasped, his dick twitching of its own accord, Jared hitting all the right places. He reached for himself again, and Jared smacked his hand away a second time. “The fuck…”
He looked down, saw Jared’s abs contract as he pulled himself up to a sitting position, capturing Jensen’s lips and grabbing his wrists, pulling them behind his back and holding them in place with one large hand. Jensen grunted at the pull in his shoulders, felt Jared’s vise-like grip on his wrists, and bit down hard enough on Jared’s bottom lip to draw blood, tasting it on his tongue. Jared jerked away, and Jensen glared, all heat, as they continued fucking.
“Think you can hold me?” Jensen spat, though he didn’t attempt to free himself. Not yet. Jared tugged harder on his wrists, straining his arm muscles even more, and Jensen groaned.
“Do it,” Jared spoke in his ear, teeth nipping at the lobe. Jensen was still lifting as much as he could and slamming back down, Jared thrusting hard and meeting him, free hand on his hip, Jensen’s body sparking with pleasure. “Do it,” Jared repeated. “Without touching. Please.”
It was on odd combination of commanding and begging, but the strain in Jared’s voice meant he was close, too, and Jensen heard the unspoken, “Hurry,” Jared wanting them both to come from this. Jensen wrenched free of Jared’s grasp, his shoulders protesting the quick movement, but instead of reaching for his dick, he grabbed onto Jared’s shoulders, bringing the two of them together at just the right angle. He rested his forehead on the back of his right hand, his body beginning to tense, his balls tightening. Jared’s hands were on him, pulling him down, closer, holding him on his cock and undulating his hips. Jensen deliberately clenched his muscles around Jared, those loud, needy, porn star sounds coming from Jared now, and suddenly Jared was coming inside him, cock jerking and heat pulsing against that same spot, and Jensen cried out, his own body going rigid as he came, thick white heat over his skin.
Jared reached trembling hands under Jensen’s thighs, both of them using the last of their strength to pull Jared’s cock free of Jensen’s body, and then groaning and collapsing back, Jensen falling on top of Jared. They didn’t speak for a few minutes, hearts still pounding, lungs still fighting for air, the only sound in the room the TV, which Jensen now realized was ridiculously loud. He almost wondered how they’d even been able to tune it out enough to hear each other and keep the mood going. He flinched, not expecting the gentle touch of Jared’s finger to his aching hole, knowing he’d still be feeling that ache for some time, but that it was completely worth it.
“Sshhh,” Jared soothed, barely audible under the noise of that fucking Billy Mays. He felt Jared’s finger slide in the sticky warmth slowly leaving his body. “God, Jen,” Jared whispered, almost reverently. “That was…”
“Yeah,” Jensen mumbled against Jared’s chest, squirming when he felt the same stickiness trapped between their bodies. “Yeah, it was.” He groaned, Jared’s finger dipping inside him again, more wetness trickling out of him.
“Jesus.”
“You can call me Jensen.” He heard and felt the deep rumble of Jared’s laughter. “Clean up?”
“Yeah,” Jared answered. “Soon as I can move. Fuck. You’re strong. I mean, not that I haven’t felt it before when we’ve fucked, but just now? Shit.”
“Better than fuckin’ around with some girl, right?” Jensen asked, smiling against Jared’s skin.
“Fuck yeah. Only ever want you.”
It wasn’t meant to be one of those romantic moments or comments, but Jensen felt it in his heart, anyway, and lifted his head, leaning up to kiss Jared softly on the lips.
“Same here.”
Jared smiled up at him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“So,” Jared began, after they’d cleaned themselves up and gotten dressed, turning the TV down and unlocking the door, both of them thankful that no one had even knocked. “We still keeping this a secret at work?”
“…I thought we agreed to?” Jensen asked hesitantly, not sure if Jared was hinting that he was upset with that decision.
“Oh, we did,” Jared clarified, nodding. “Just wanted to make sure we were still on the same page about it.”
“I’m good with it, if you are.” Jensen shrugged. “I mean, it’s like we said you know? Makes it easier for us to just be Sam and Dean on set. Just family.”
“Awesome.” Jared grinned and kissed Jensen’s confusion away. “I was hoping you’d say that. Because this?” He rubbed his hands along Jensen’s biceps, rested their foreheads together, still grinning. “This is so much more fun than everyone knowing.” Jensen chuckled.
“You would say that.”
“It’s true,” Jared insisted. “All the really important people in our lives know, and it’s fun to have this still. This, ‘Oh, no! They don’t know! Let’s sneak off to our trailers and fuck! Sshh! We might get caught!’” Jensen laughed out loud at Jared’s theatrics, the other man’s fearful expression and flailing arms.
“You’re an idiot,” he teased, pushing him. But he couldn’t argue with what Jared had said. It was a hell of a lot of fun.
Heaven and Hell
“I thought Dean was supposed to be badass?” Jared asked, shoving another handful of gummies in his mouth as he sat in Jensen’s trailer.
“He is.”
“Pfft!” Jensen turned to him, raising a questioning eyebrow. “If our sex life was like that,” Jared continued, having watched Jensen film his scene with Julie, “I’d be bored outta my skull. Dean’s supposed to be feisty, rowdy, down ‘n’ dirty. That’s not what that was. Since when is he all gentle with the ladies he screws?”
“Hey, hey!” Jensen said, holding up a hand and completely abandoning his focus on the football game they’d been watching. “First off, Dean is definitely all of those things, but he’s not that much of a dick! Sure, he fucks a lot of women, but no one’s ever said he hasn’t respected them, treated them right. He doesn’t screw anybody who isn’t asking for it, and he doesn’t do anything they don’t want to do. If they want it slow and gentle, he takes it slow and gentle. But he’s damn sure done it all kinds of different ways, and done it well. It just takes a different kind of woman. Besides, this girl was an angel, right? So, he has to, like, watch his back and be on his best behavior, you know, sexually. Else, she’ll like…strike him down with lightning later, or somethin’.”
Jared fucking loved it when Jensen got so defensive about his character. He cocked his head and pursed his lips, trying to look thoughtful.
“…So, no angel facials?”
“You’re sick, Jared,” Jensen answered flatly, grabbing his beer and taking a swig. “I’mma get Dr. Anderson on the phone, tell him you’re sick. Fuckin’ nympho, or somethin’.”
“No golden showers?” Jared pressed on, and Jensen rolled his eyes. “I mean, they sound heavenly. You’d think she’d be into that kind of stuff.”
“Sick,” Jensen repeated, and Jared could see him fighting off a smile. “You’re sick. Besides, the network would never let us get away with having Dean piss on an angel.” Jared snorted.
“Be pretty funny, though, if Uriel somehow figured that out about you, too. ‘You pissed on some angel food cake.’”
“Right, right,” Jensen nodded, voice still calm, as if this was just your everyday normal conversation. “And then Dean reminds Uriel that he’s just jealous, because he doesn’t have a dick.”
“And then Dean and Anna get it on some more. In front of Uriel. Just to make him even more jealous. Do some nasty shit.”
“Yeah, you know, fuckin’…one angel, one cup.”
“OH!” Jared balked and gaped at Jensen, who merely grinned back at him. “DUDE! Now who’s sick??”
“Just makin’ sure you’re payin’ attention,” Jensen laughed, taking another swig of beer. There was a pause, and then, “So, you think you’d be bored, huh?”
“Wouldn’t you?” Jared asked, looking over and seeing Jensen shrug nonchalantly. “I mean, Christ, with the way we fuck…”
“Never made love to anyone, Jay?” Jared hesitated, wanted to make a crack about Jensen being hormonal and actually using the phrase “made love,” but Jensen seemed oddly…serious. “You know, sometimes, when you go slow…” Jared’s eyes dropped down Jensen’s body, watching as Jensen’s hand came to rest on his inner thigh, thumb brushing over his crotch, “It can be nice. Feel real good.” Jensen palmed himself. Once. Took another swig of beer, and then kept talking. “Sometimes it’s nice to slow down. Make you feel every inch, on every slide.” Jensen’s hips lifted in the bare imitation of a thrust, and Jared’s eyes were glued to the hard ridge in Jensen’s jeans. “Make it all build up real slow inside you, drive you crazy.”
Jared stared. And Jensen said nothing more about it. Jared stared as Jensen drank his beer and watched the game. And when they were back on set, Jensen stared. Jared could feel it, whenever his back was turned, and when he’d look around to seek Jensen out, his breath would catch in his throat at the look in Jensen’s eyes. It was smooth and secretive, only done between takes, but it was burning Jared from the inside out. It wasn’t the same animalistic “gonna fuck you hard” look Jensen usually gave him. It was different. There was this slow burning heat behind the vibrant green in Jensen’s eyes. Jared’s heart rate was jacked, and he was anxious, impatient to get home and face Jensen alone. But Jensen? Jensen was calm and collected, every muscle in his body relaxed, the only thing standing out his confident, passionate gaze. Jared tried to mimic Jensen’s attitude and just take it all in stride, but it was impossible, and he cursed Jensen for having this strong of an effect on him.
Home. The dogs running to the back door to be let out. Home. Alone. Jared almost couldn’t believe it, immediately grabbing for Jensen as soon as the front door had closed behind them and pushing him up against it. But Jensen’s hands gripped his shoulders, gentle force pushing him away and settling him down, Jensen leaning forward and kissing him softly.
“I’ll take care of the dogs,” Jensen said quietly, all patience and calm. “You go on upstairs to the bedroom. Wait for me.”
And just like that, Jensen was gone, slow Texas gait to the back of the house, leaving Jared alone, the extra body warmth gone. Jared let his head fall against the door, standing there for a few seconds, his stomach in knots and his dick half hard, the same way he’d felt all day. There was something unnerving about the way Jensen had been acting, though Jared wasn’t exactly sure what it was, other than the obvious way it contrasted with Jared’s own personality. He turned and climbed the stairs, heading for the bedroom, where he kicked his shoes off and then stood in the middle of the floor, unsure of what to do. He was standing there wringing his hands together when Jensen came in behind him, chuckling and wrapping arms around his waist, lips pressing gently against the back of his neck.
“Calm down,” Jensen soothed, warm hands reaching beneath Jared’s shirt and smoothing up over his chest. Jared leaned back and heaved out a sigh. “Try to show a guy you love him, and he freaks out,” Jensen muttered, playfully annoyed, and Jared smiled and ducked his head.
“Sorry,” he apologized. “It’s just different.”
“That’s the point.”
He turned in time to see Jensen closing the bedroom door and locking it, and his stomach fluttered. They’d never locked the door. There’d never been a reason to. And that simple act somehow made this even more close and intimate. Jensen backed him up towards the bed, silently instructing him to lay back on it. Jared stared up at Jensen, who stood between his legs at the foot of the bed and reached to pull his shirt up over his head. Jared’s pulse quickened a bit, dick growing harder, watching Jensen’s muscles contract with the movement as they were exposed, the shirt tossed aside. Jensen’s eyes connected with his, holding his gaze, and Jared felt that nervous twitch in his hands again. Jensen leaned over and pushed his hands beneath Jared’s shirt again, slowly tugging it up and off.
“Not used to this, are you?” Jensen whispered, brushing his lips against Jared’s before catching his eye again. “The attention?” His hands traveled down Jared’s body to the waistband of his jeans, but he never broke eye contact, and Jared squirmed, finally shaking his head in response to Jensen’s question. Jensen kissed him again, deftly unbuttoning his jeans and pulling the zipper down. “Shouldn’t make you nervous, Jay.”
Jared blushed, knowing it was stupid. It wasn’t as if they’d never done this before, or they didn’t know how they felt about each other. But frantic, rough fucking had been their specialty up until now. And Jared couldn’t remember anybody ever taking him in like this, all slow precision and intent focus. Nobody had ever looked at him like that. And now, Jensen was pulling back and standing up, tugging on Jared’s jeans, the denim slowly gliding over his legs, Jensen’s eyes seeking his the entire time. It made him hard, there was no mistaking that now, but it also made him nervous, feeling more exposed than he usually did. And he wasn’t even completely naked yet. Jensen nudged him, and Jared took the cue to scoot further up the bed, Jensen crawling up onto it and hovering over him, settling between his legs and drawing him into a kiss, tongue probing inside.
“Relax,” Jensen muttered against Jared’s lips. His fingers lightly skimmed down Jared’s sides, his lips slipping down to Jared’s neck, and then he was pulling away again, kneeling and pulling Jared’s boxers off. Jensen reached out, fingers lightly teasing his balls and stroking up his shaft, and Jared twitched and moaned, suddenly more aware of the sensations in his body than he’d ever been. “Relax,” Jensen repeated, smiling at him.
Their eyes connected again, and Jared felt himself falling into it, hands a little less shaky. He pushed himself up into a sitting position, Jensen still kneeling between his legs, and kissed him, their mouths opening, tongues swirling around each other. Jared reached down between them, opening Jensen’s jeans, and he felt Jensen sag slightly, a relieved sigh puffing into his mouth. Reaching inside, he realized that Jensen was achingly hard, rewarding his touch with a thrust and a whine.
A few minutes later, Jared was slowly lowered onto his back again, Jensen naked on top of him, lubed fingers gently probing at his entrance. Jensen kissed him while he slowly opened him up with his fingers, stroking inside and stilling them whenever Jared would push, trying to force him to go faster, rougher. It was an outright refusal, Jensen dragging it out so that Jared’s entire body was thrumming with need and anticipation. Finally, three fingers were leaving his body, Jensen positioning himself between Jared’s legs and grabbing for a condom.
“No,” Jared ground out, hand shooting out to grip Jensen’s wrist, the unopened condom between Jensen’s fingers. Jared pulled it away and tossed it off onto the floor, and Jensen raised his eyebrows.
“Are you sure?”
“You trusted me,” Jared said, grabbing the hand Jensen still held in the air and linking their fingers together. “You let me. I want you. Wanna feel it.” He pulled his hand away after Jensen squeezed in response and reached for the lube, coating his own fingers with it and reaching down between them, stroking Jensen’s cock just as slowly as Jensen had fingered him, thoroughly slicking every inch of it. He kissed Jensen and relaxed into the mattress, wrapping his legs around Jensen’s body. “Please.”
Jensen’s eyes were on his again as he pressed in, a long, slow slide, Jared stretching around him, lost in the feel of Jensen filling him and in the green of Jensen’s eyes. Jensen’s arms were around him, Jared’s dick trapped between their bodies, and Jared felt the slow drag of Jensen’s cock pulling out of his body, the gentle thrust back inside. Jensen built a rhythm, a slow, torturous one. It was just as Jensen had said. Jared could feel every inch of Jensen on every slide. Each thrust was measured and full, Jensen’s balls pressing up against Jared’s ass, his dick pressing deliberately where Jared so desperately needed it. And Jared suddenly decided that this “making love” thing? It wasn’t so bad. Jensen was making it good, making it last and build up, both of their bodies hot and slick with sweat.
“Love you, Jared,” Jensen murmured on a shuddering breath, his hand moving between their bodies, playing over the ridges of Jared’s abs. His fingers loosely circled and stroked Jared’s cock, and Jared whimpered and thrust upward in response. “Love you.”
Those spoken words had been the loudest sound in the room thus far, another thing that Jared wasn’t used to, his heart pounding in his chest. Animalistic grunts and shouts and screams were the norm in their bedroom. But this time, Jared could feel the focus of it, the room quiet, aside from their harsh breathing, the rustling of sheets, and low moans. Jared felt his stomach flutter again, and he reached up to grab for Jensen, pulling him in and bringing their lips together, Jensen’s lazy kisses just as slow and smooth as his thrusts and his hand on Jared’s dick.
Jared could feel his orgasm building, and it was driving him insane, his body on fire, needing and wanting, and Jensen drawing it out of him so slowly, he thought he might just fucking burst. He could feel his entire body trembling, each and every muscle start to quiver. Everything was in slow motion, in full detail, intense. Every inch of Jensen’s dick, every breath in both of their bodies, every bead of sweat, every flash of heat, every muscle beginning to freeze up and tense.
“Fuck,” Jensen sputtered, his lips pulling away from Jared’s, dropping his head against the curve of Jared’s neck. “Fuck.”
That last curse was almost a sob, and Jared knew that Jensen was vocalizing exactly what they were both feeling. It was intense pleasure, almost to the point of pain. It was an agony that felt so good, Jared was damn near convulsing with it when he finally came, his own heat spilling over Jensen’s fingers and coating his stomach as Jensen’s filled him inside. They shared moans and broken cries, the force of Jensen’s orgasm causing him to send a violent thrust into Jared’s body, Jared’s dick twitching and spurting one last time in response.
Jensen tiredly kissed him again as he pulled out, Jared groaning at the sudden loss. He expected Jensen to flop next to him on the bed, both of them clearly exhausted. Instead, Jensen moved down the bed, licking his fingers clean before gently holding Jared still while he swiped his tongue through the mess on Jared’s stomach, his spent dick. Jared gasped and squirmed, oversensitive after his orgasm, then lifted his head and watched, settling a hand on Jensen’s head, thumb stroking his cheek.
He watched as Jensen shakily stood, offering him a small smile as he walked off to the bathroom, reappearing with a warm, wet washcloth, Jared gratefully accepting the gentle cleanup. Finished, Jensen finally flopped down next to him, and Jared turned on his side to face him, shifting a little.
“Can still feel you inside me,” he said, smiling a little.
“Yeah, well, that’s how it is when you’ve got come in your ass.”
“Man,” Jared said, laughing at Jensen’s nonchalant posture, hands resting behind his head. “That how it is? Earlier, you’re all eloquent, talking about ‘making love,’ and now that it’s over, you’re just a crude bastard?”
“Something like that,” Jensen responded, grinning.
“Well,” Jared wrapped his arms around Jensen, snuggling in close, “You proved me wrong. Congratulations, Jensen. You’ve officially made me your bitch.”
“So you weren’t bored?”
“Not by a long shot.”
“Good.”
Silence settled over them, and Jared let the minutes tick away, listening to Jensen’s heartbeat. He held Jensen tighter, felt Jensen’s arm loop around his body to caress his back.
“Thank you,” he said quietly, feeling himself blush as he said it. It felt and sounded stupid, but something prompted him to say it, breaking the silence that surrounded them. “I mean, no one’s ever…I’ve never felt…”
“You know, the thing about Dean,” Jensen started, after Jared had trailed off uselessly, “Or, the thing about Dean and Anna, I guess…Is that she knew. She knew about all the horrible things he’d done, when he was in Hell. She knew, and she didn’t look down on him, didn’t treat him like a monster. She forgave him…fucking forgave him…which made him feel…” He paused, and Jared could tell he was searching for the right words. “When she did that, she gave him more than he ever could’ve hoped for. That’s why it was like that. That’s why he made love to her. It was all about feeling. She made him feel something inside of him that went past everything he didn’t want to acknowledge. And he wanted to give her something in return. He wanted her to feel loved before she had to leave.”
Jared nodded against Jensen’s chest. He got it. It’d been the same with Sam and Ruby, in a way. Both scenes were about the characters being desperate to feel something other than the horrible guilt and suffering they’d been consumed with for so long. They were just carried out differently, and it was obvious why they had been, after what Jensen had said.
“It’s the same with you.” Jared lifted his head to look at Jensen at that quiet admission. “You knew what I went through, what I did, how I hurt you. And you got me past it. You made me feel again. And I just wanted to…show you…”
“Jensen,” Jared said softly. And this time, when Jensen made eye contact, he wasn’t so sure of himself. Jensen was just as vulnerable and exposed as Jared had felt earlier, his eyes almost pleading with Jared to just understand and not talk about it any longer. Jared laughed lightly, feeling warm and sated, and nipped at Jensen’s bottom lip. “You’re a big fucking girl, you know that?”
“A big fucking girl who just made you his bitch,” Jensen answered, relaxed and grinning. “Or, you know, her bitch. Whatever. I’m not a girl. Bitch.”
“Yeah,” Jared said, laying his head back down. “I love you, too.”
Forty Years
New Sensation