Forty-Three Days (Master Post)
ETA 6/4/2023: This is now up on AO3 for a new PDF link! Check it out here!
ETA 12/19/2011: Now you can download the PDF! Thanks to weeping00willow! :)
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I had my own crappily made banner up here (it's under the cut), but ala_tariel was nice enough to make two of them for me, and they are amazing! Thank you so much!! :D
So, I got into the Supernatural fandom late, but it very quickly took over my life. I figured it wouldn't be long before I started writing some SPN fanfic. I did write one fic back in July of this year, but it's joined the private entries of this LJ, because it was a random death fic, and wtf was up with that?
Then November rolled around. And along with it came NaNoWriMo. Two of my friends, crazyluvolee and theoryoferin, srsly wanted me to join NaNoWriMo. Srsly. But I had no clue what to write, and I didn't think I could pull it off. Then my friend sucuri also got into the SPN fandom and started writing a fic of her own for NaNo, which you should all read when she posts it, because it's EPIC. I had a random idea for an RPF fic pop into my head, but wasn't so sure about it. I discussed it with sucuri, who pretty much said, "DO IT. THAT'S TOTALLY YOUR NANO, AND IT WILL BE EPIC, AS WELL." So, I finally caved and joined NaNo to write this fic. I wasn't really sure in the beginning whether it would be RPS or just plain ol' RPF. And then sucuri was like, "Bitch, who are you kidding? You know it's totally gonna end up RPS!" And I was like, "Duh, you're right. What was I thinking?" It's finished as far as I can tell, since I think anything else I'd be adding would just be fluff. Also, I decided to say "screw beta work," especially since I put sucuri through enough spammage with this fic. I've gone over it all quite a few times myself, and any errors left are mine.
So...here goes.
Title: Forty-Three Days
Pairing: J2
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 70,806, broken up into 9 chapters.
Warnings: Spoilers for 3.16 and first half of season 4, and lots and lots of angst.
Disclaimer: I don't know or own any of these people, and this is clearly just a product of my cracked-out brain. And some of sucuri's, because she helped me with it.
Notes: crazyluvolee and theoryoferin get credit for talking me into NaNo. I owe you ladies. sucuri gets credit for that, too, but also for being my reader, commenter, supporter, critic, and hand-holder. You helped me with a lot of things, and some of these ideas came from you, so THANK YOU, and ILU BB!! You've been my co-everything! ♥
Synopsis: The stress of filming the last four episodes of season 3 have caught up with Jensen, who blames his hallucinations on Dean's emotional roller coaster and his own lack of sleep. But a short break between the season finale and the shooting of his new movie fails to improve his mental state. He abandons the movie and becomes a recluse in Vancouver, fearing for his own sanity. Once he realizes that the hallucinations are real, and there's more than just his sanity at stake, Jensen contacts Jared, who may be the only person able to understand what Jensen's going through. Jared arrives in Vancouver just in time to save Jensen's life, but the danger threatening Jensen remains. Their lives become a race against time, and the show has brought them more than they'd bargained for. Jared has to keep Jensen alive for 43 days. Can they make it?
Chapter Links
Chapter 1: Sound and Vision
Chapter 2: Blood and Dust
Chapter 3: Cereal and Stitches
Chapter 4: Breakfast and Bathrooms
Chapter 5: Doctors and Bracelets
Chapter 6: Words and Knives
Chapter 7: Showers and Dates
Chapter 8: Vacations and Confessions
Chapter 9: Apologies and Packages
Sequels/Timestamps:
Extras
New Sensation
Forty Years
Late Night
The Calm After the Storm
At a Crossroads
Soundtrack
1. 3 Doors Down - Right Where I Belong
But in spite of all this weather
I know why we are together
And I swear right now
I'm right where I belong
2. 3 Doors Down - It's Not Me
I don't know how I can face this pain
I'll keep it inside so you can't see
I don't think I can go on this way
'Cause it's not me
3. 3 Doors Down - Let Me Go
In my head there's only you now
This world falls on me
In this world there's real and make believe
And this seems real to me
You love me but you don't know who I am
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand
And you love me but you don't know who I am
So let me go
Let me go
4. 3 Doors Down - Landing In London
And all these days I spend away
I'll make up for this I swear
I need your love to hold me up
When it's all too much to bear
And when the night falls in around me
And I don't think I'll make it through
I'll use your light to guide the way
'Cause all I think about is you
5. 3 Doors Down - The Real Life
I wanted to find somewhere to hide
When I opened up and let those fears inside
I wanted to be anyone else
Only to find that there was no one there but me
And I woke up to the real life
And I realized its not worth running from anymore
When there was nowhere left to hide I found out
That nothing's real here but I won't stop now until I find a better part of me
6. 3 Doors Down - Behind Those Eyes
There's something I can see
There's something different in the way you smile
Behind those eyes you lie
And there's nothing I can say
'Cause I'm never gonna change your mind
Behind those eyes you hide
7. 3 Doors Down - Never Will I Break
Lay me down
Wash this blood off my hands for me while I cry out
Don't let me die before I go to sleep
I can't keep going
But I cannot start again
This road I walk is paved with the broken promises I made
At least a million times I've fallen
But never will I break
8. 3 Doors Down - Father's Son
I've bundled up all of these fears inside
And I've bottled up all of this pain
And no one and nothing can take this away
But I won't let it happen again
Never again
9. 3 Doors Down - Live For Today
God only knows all the places I've been
But I love this life that I'm living in
I won't look back to regret yesterday
We're not handed tomorrow so I'll live for today
10. 3 Doors Down - My World
But that's not the world I live in
This is not the life for me
'Cause my world's bigger than your problems
And it's bigger than me
11. 3 Doors Down - Here By Me
I hope you’re doing fine out there without me
‘Cause I’m not doing so good without you
The things I thought you’d never know about me
Were the things I guess you always understood
So how could I have been so blind for all these years
I guess I only see the truth through all this fear of living without you
Everything I have in this world
And all that I’ll ever be
It could all fall down around me
Just as long as I have you right here by me
12. The Police - Can't Stand Losing You
You can call it lack of confidence
But to carry on living doesn't make no sense
13. Aerosmith - Seasons of Wither
Ooh woe is me
I feel so badly for you
Ooh woe is me
I feel so sadly for you
In time bound to lose your mind
Live on borrowed time
Take the wind right out of your sail
Notes
Making cover art at 3:00 AM because I'm an insomniac made me laugh way too much. I just used Google Images to find the different pics, so when pictures of Jensen and Jared were popping up in the search of them goofing off, it would make me laugh so hard. Just because I knew it would look absolutely ridiculous to use those pictures for the cover art of a story like this one. I also felt like an asshole, because I was sitting here going, "Damn! There are too many pictures of them smiling!" But, you know, smiles wouldn't really work for this. Which is why all of this made me laugh. Also, I don't have Photoshop or anything, so...that was the best I could do, haha.
It's pretty obvious that 98% of the soundtrack came from the 3 Doors Down album Seventeen Days. See, when I first started writing, sucuri was talking to me about the music she listens to while she writes, and she asked me what I listened to. At the time, I either wasn't listening to anything, or it was just completely random. Then, one night while I was writing, I happened to pop Seventeen Days in, and that became my own little writing soundtrack. Just because of the mood to it and some of the lyrics, which I've pointed out. Not every song fits, and not every lyric to all the songs I've mentioned fit, but...there was just something about it that got me in the mindset. The Police song almost seems in bad taste, but it came on when I was writing THE scene in chapter 6, and I heard that line that I mentioned, and kind of got weirded out. So...it's there. And the Aerosmith song is kind of random, but it kept getting stuck in my head at random points when I was writing, and I'd have to play it, so...that's there, too. :P
ETA 12/19/2011: Now you can download the PDF! Thanks to weeping00willow! :)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I had my own crappily made banner up here (it's under the cut), but ala_tariel was nice enough to make two of them for me, and they are amazing! Thank you so much!! :D
So, I got into the Supernatural fandom late, but it very quickly took over my life. I figured it wouldn't be long before I started writing some SPN fanfic. I did write one fic back in July of this year, but it's joined the private entries of this LJ, because it was a random death fic, and wtf was up with that?
Then November rolled around. And along with it came NaNoWriMo. Two of my friends, crazyluvolee and theoryoferin, srsly wanted me to join NaNoWriMo. Srsly. But I had no clue what to write, and I didn't think I could pull it off. Then my friend sucuri also got into the SPN fandom and started writing a fic of her own for NaNo, which you should all read when she posts it, because it's EPIC. I had a random idea for an RPF fic pop into my head, but wasn't so sure about it. I discussed it with sucuri, who pretty much said, "DO IT. THAT'S TOTALLY YOUR NANO, AND IT WILL BE EPIC, AS WELL." So, I finally caved and joined NaNo to write this fic. I wasn't really sure in the beginning whether it would be RPS or just plain ol' RPF. And then sucuri was like, "Bitch, who are you kidding? You know it's totally gonna end up RPS!" And I was like, "Duh, you're right. What was I thinking?" It's finished as far as I can tell, since I think anything else I'd be adding would just be fluff. Also, I decided to say "screw beta work," especially since I put sucuri through enough spammage with this fic. I've gone over it all quite a few times myself, and any errors left are mine.
So...here goes.
Title: Forty-Three Days
Pairing: J2
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 70,806, broken up into 9 chapters.
Warnings: Spoilers for 3.16 and first half of season 4, and lots and lots of angst.
Disclaimer: I don't know or own any of these people, and this is clearly just a product of my cracked-out brain. And some of sucuri's, because she helped me with it.
Notes: crazyluvolee and theoryoferin get credit for talking me into NaNo. I owe you ladies. sucuri gets credit for that, too, but also for being my reader, commenter, supporter, critic, and hand-holder. You helped me with a lot of things, and some of these ideas came from you, so THANK YOU, and ILU BB!! You've been my co-everything! ♥
Synopsis: The stress of filming the last four episodes of season 3 have caught up with Jensen, who blames his hallucinations on Dean's emotional roller coaster and his own lack of sleep. But a short break between the season finale and the shooting of his new movie fails to improve his mental state. He abandons the movie and becomes a recluse in Vancouver, fearing for his own sanity. Once he realizes that the hallucinations are real, and there's more than just his sanity at stake, Jensen contacts Jared, who may be the only person able to understand what Jensen's going through. Jared arrives in Vancouver just in time to save Jensen's life, but the danger threatening Jensen remains. Their lives become a race against time, and the show has brought them more than they'd bargained for. Jared has to keep Jensen alive for 43 days. Can they make it?
Chapter Links
Chapter 1: Sound and Vision
Chapter 2: Blood and Dust
Chapter 3: Cereal and Stitches
Chapter 4: Breakfast and Bathrooms
Chapter 5: Doctors and Bracelets
Chapter 6: Words and Knives
Chapter 7: Showers and Dates
Chapter 8: Vacations and Confessions
Chapter 9: Apologies and Packages
Sequels/Timestamps:
Extras
New Sensation
Forty Years
Late Night
The Calm After the Storm
At a Crossroads
Soundtrack
1. 3 Doors Down - Right Where I Belong
But in spite of all this weather
I know why we are together
And I swear right now
I'm right where I belong
2. 3 Doors Down - It's Not Me
I don't know how I can face this pain
I'll keep it inside so you can't see
I don't think I can go on this way
'Cause it's not me
3. 3 Doors Down - Let Me Go
In my head there's only you now
This world falls on me
In this world there's real and make believe
And this seems real to me
You love me but you don't know who I am
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand
And you love me but you don't know who I am
So let me go
Let me go
4. 3 Doors Down - Landing In London
And all these days I spend away
I'll make up for this I swear
I need your love to hold me up
When it's all too much to bear
And when the night falls in around me
And I don't think I'll make it through
I'll use your light to guide the way
'Cause all I think about is you
5. 3 Doors Down - The Real Life
I wanted to find somewhere to hide
When I opened up and let those fears inside
I wanted to be anyone else
Only to find that there was no one there but me
And I woke up to the real life
And I realized its not worth running from anymore
When there was nowhere left to hide I found out
That nothing's real here but I won't stop now until I find a better part of me
6. 3 Doors Down - Behind Those Eyes
There's something I can see
There's something different in the way you smile
Behind those eyes you lie
And there's nothing I can say
'Cause I'm never gonna change your mind
Behind those eyes you hide
7. 3 Doors Down - Never Will I Break
Lay me down
Wash this blood off my hands for me while I cry out
Don't let me die before I go to sleep
I can't keep going
But I cannot start again
This road I walk is paved with the broken promises I made
At least a million times I've fallen
But never will I break
8. 3 Doors Down - Father's Son
I've bundled up all of these fears inside
And I've bottled up all of this pain
And no one and nothing can take this away
But I won't let it happen again
Never again
9. 3 Doors Down - Live For Today
God only knows all the places I've been
But I love this life that I'm living in
I won't look back to regret yesterday
We're not handed tomorrow so I'll live for today
10. 3 Doors Down - My World
But that's not the world I live in
This is not the life for me
'Cause my world's bigger than your problems
And it's bigger than me
11. 3 Doors Down - Here By Me
I hope you’re doing fine out there without me
‘Cause I’m not doing so good without you
The things I thought you’d never know about me
Were the things I guess you always understood
So how could I have been so blind for all these years
I guess I only see the truth through all this fear of living without you
Everything I have in this world
And all that I’ll ever be
It could all fall down around me
Just as long as I have you right here by me
12. The Police - Can't Stand Losing You
You can call it lack of confidence
But to carry on living doesn't make no sense
13. Aerosmith - Seasons of Wither
Ooh woe is me
I feel so badly for you
Ooh woe is me
I feel so sadly for you
In time bound to lose your mind
Live on borrowed time
Take the wind right out of your sail
Notes
Making cover art at 3:00 AM because I'm an insomniac made me laugh way too much. I just used Google Images to find the different pics, so when pictures of Jensen and Jared were popping up in the search of them goofing off, it would make me laugh so hard. Just because I knew it would look absolutely ridiculous to use those pictures for the cover art of a story like this one. I also felt like an asshole, because I was sitting here going, "Damn! There are too many pictures of them smiling!" But, you know, smiles wouldn't really work for this. Which is why all of this made me laugh. Also, I don't have Photoshop or anything, so...that was the best I could do, haha.
It's pretty obvious that 98% of the soundtrack came from the 3 Doors Down album Seventeen Days. See, when I first started writing, sucuri was talking to me about the music she listens to while she writes, and she asked me what I listened to. At the time, I either wasn't listening to anything, or it was just completely random. Then, one night while I was writing, I happened to pop Seventeen Days in, and that became my own little writing soundtrack. Just because of the mood to it and some of the lyrics, which I've pointed out. Not every song fits, and not every lyric to all the songs I've mentioned fit, but...there was just something about it that got me in the mindset. The Police song almost seems in bad taste, but it came on when I was writing THE scene in chapter 6, and I heard that line that I mentioned, and kind of got weirded out. So...it's there. And the Aerosmith song is kind of random, but it kept getting stuck in my head at random points when I was writing, and I'd have to play it, so...that's there, too. :P
