when the past comes back again to haunt you, do give it a second chance? do you give it another look dead on, do you consider the "what could have been"? shud i put everything that happned behind me, and forget it all? its so hard to put all your trust and love into something again, when you have already done it before, already been thro this.  ( Read more... )

so its the last day of winter break, and i have spent the entire day thinking.  its a new year, things need to be changed, i need to be changed, basically my life needs to have some sort of change, because the way it is now i cant handle.

i wanna lose 10-15lbs. i wanna be nicer to ppl that bug me. i dont want little things to get to me nemore. i ( Read more... )

so im sitting here, balling my eyes out, completley and utterly devestated.  i cant change and you should have known by now.  i will always be what i am, and i kno its not god enough.  but have you ever thought that maybe this is it? this is good enough for me?  that myabe i was h.a.p.p.y?

and its all for nothing

you should have known, ( Read more... )

its christmas eve and although im excited for everything, i cant help but think about "him".  where is he, where is that one perfect boy that i have been looking for, for sooo long?  i think i mite know but its so uncertain.  i may have these feelings but im so lost.  idk how to express them, idk how to deal with this...maybe im not even sane at ( Read more... )

and i blew up.  i coudlnt hide it i couldnt conrtol it nemore. it all came out and once, everything i wanted to say for so long.

i hope you feel all the pain you have ever caused me. and i want you to kno i will never let it happen again

not one more tear will fall from these eyes*

its never gonna get better i have come to realize. im stuck in this place and  i dont want to live, and i become to hate myself more and more as the days go on.  it will never be better until im out of their lives and far away, and that time will just not come soon enough.  i refuse to be there with them any more. im not there daughter, im  ( Read more... )

Of all the things
I've believed in
I just want to
Get it over with
Tears form behind my eyes
But I do not cry
Counting the days
That pass me by
I've been searching
Deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing
Are starting to get old
It feels like
I'm starting all over again
The last three years
Were just pretend

And it hurts to want everything
And nothing at the ( Read more... )

its funny how things can change so fast, in a blink of an eye and everything you feel can be different

i feel so stupid

The only thing worse than not knowing
Is you thinking that I don't know
I'm having another episode
I just need a stronger dose

and the bad can only get worse

someone told me love would all save us
but how can that be look what love gave us
a world full of killing and blood spilling
that world never came

being happy is over rated, but when it happens dont let it go.  its the thing that gets u up in the morning, the thing that makes all the fighting, all the arguments worth it...no matter what ppl say, or what happened in the past will not change us, will not change who we are n what we feel, they just dont understand but its ok, it will all be ok ( Read more... )