My boss's house just got TP'ed. Also, I'm poorer $17.37, and am wet from being in the light rain. Coincidence ( Read more... )

Overheard at a party I had to make an appearance at tonight: "Dude, there's a turtle fucking a pirate in my BED!!!"

My retort: "Well then get your ass back in there with some paper and some fucking colored pencils and see if you can't get your ass into art school."

Eh... I thought it was witty.

-Owen

Dude, I've been making fun of people all day long. I'm pissed off, I hate the world, and all I'm doing is wreaking great amounts of karmic harm upon myself... to be assessed on a later date, of course ( Read more... )

Ultimately enough, you are the only person equipped to save yourself.

-Owen

I most enjoy kissing right now when I'm holding her with her legs wrapped around me.

-Owen

Life is full of ways to keep yourself from being truly happy.

-Owen

I carry a 'Get Out of Jail Free' card in my wallet.

-Owen

Self-awareness is the hardest trait to possess. Just when you think you've reeled in the horizon, you learn there's an entirely different one beyond that. I thank the people in my life with enough intelligence for me to respect their opinions and their perspective, without you I'd be lost.

-Owen

So I'm certainly not the only person to voice this concern in recorded history. And I'm pretty sure I'm not the only person to voice this concern today. This hour. This minute. To be worried about it right now. You'll probably read this entry and think to yourself, "Yep, join the club. Here's your commemorative pin, here's your card, and here ( Read more... )

Well, not really. But you get the point ( Read more... )