i keep looking 4 any word from u,....anything @ all. i keep checkin my email n the lj over n over....God im pathetic....i need 2 go 2 the beach,.....alone.

its over....i have no control, and no emotion...i feel utterly numb. i hate this. i am such a horrible person...vulnerability is something no1 should ever have 2 feel. i cant feel happiness, or sadness....just emptiness. i need 2 alone 4 a while so no1 will have 2 deal w/ this but myself. i need space and time...lots of it. rebounding is a horrible ( Read more... )

these last few days have been filled w/ confusion, sadness, anxiousness, and excitedness...i think. butchyeah, me n josh actually broke up. it was horrible. 2day i talked 2 him n i felt like shit....i cried super way mega hard alot. i just layed in bed n cried my eyes out. he made me feel horrible 4 everything i did wrong in our relationship, which ( Read more... )

im sittin here bored as hellaciousness....every1 is busy. josh is workin, n kc n matt r doin a 2getherness thing, therefore i have no other friends interested in doin nething w/ me, lol. yes im pathetic. i did laundry 2day, which felt like i accomplished something. i finally washed all my work clothes, which needed it realllly bad. i work again ( Read more... )

haha i laugh @ the stupidity of my subject....newho, wow i havent posted in a loooooong ass time. mainlky bc there has been 2 much drama 2 type, and emotions that dont need 2 be discussed. basically, me n josh almost broke up like twice, and me n danny arent talking nemore...its been a horrible week....or few weeks, w/e. newho, 2 chaNGE THE subject ( Read more... )

ok ppl u have till sat days 2 make sure ur on my friends list bc if ur not...u aint readin nuthin!!! muwahahahaaaa.....newho, i went 2 kc's n we all discussed our gulf shores/ perdido key trip. we're only goin 1 nite...well...hopefully. my retard ass "attitude asshole" parents dont want me 2 go bc apparently im too fucking stupid 2 do such a thing ( Read more... )

hey ppl.....btw just 2 let u know, im gunna let my journal be accesible only 2 ppl on my friends list, so if u wanna be on that list, post n lemme know.....BTW THIS IS SO MY WEIRD MOM STOPS READING THEM!!! HI MOM!!! YEAH I KNOW UR READING THIS!!! MAGNOLIALS!!!!!

idk y i typed "muffins". maybe bc im thinkin abt them.....hahaha. newho, yesterday i had 2 tell danny that we cant talk as much nemore like we used 2. thatz the only way me n josh can have a decent relationship. (btw im eating a muffin now!!). i've been in a very good mood lately, i think bc the dpms thing is over. except 4 the fact that i cant ( Read more... )

yeah i couldnt think of a good subject. well it loox like now every1 thinx i should not be friends w/ danny nemore. i had a long talk w/ cooper 2day, n he gave me some insight. we realized that danny hanging out w/ those of such a younger, slightly more immature group of kids has influenced him. i wish cooper was here 2 talk 2 danny. Those kids ( Read more... )

yeah...i stole my subject from the new jim carrey movie (w/ music from edward scissorhands). omg 2nite has been horrible. i havent cried that hard since me n josh broke up. it was horrible. ok well, i went 2 joshs 2nite 4 like an hour or so, n he didnt talk much bc he was upset bc of babs stupid ass story (fuck u babs 4 posting that!!). n we argued ( Read more... )