my best friend is a 10 week old chihuahua.

i want to help, but i don't know how.this is what they all say when they don't know what do say. gradually, then suddenly. that's how depression hits. and all you need is someone to understand. someone to make it all seem bearable. but no one does. it's "emo" and uncalled for and unappreciated. my poor roommates, i eliminate all possible joy from ( Read more... )

even as i sit here counting all the blessings that have bombarded me recently, i still sometimes worry i won't let myself make it through the night.

don't feel bad. you are one of many that have made me want to crumble into myself and stop existing. but thank you. because you have forced me to look deep into myself, and stare my own self destruction in the face... in all its devastating glory ( Read more... )

who wants to leave home when this is your backyard?


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i was sitting here, cross-legged on my bed eating chinese food and reflecting and i got the sudden urge to "blog." i re-read the past few months of this thing and it made me feel... sad. all i do is whine about life and how it's been so sour to me. it hasn't been easy, but God's been good to me ( Read more... )

1 week. 5 days.

this is your fault. you wouldn't listen when i needed you to. couldn't be a friend ( Read more... )

i am always awed by my dad's selfishness ( Read more... )

i'm hungry and there is no money for food.
there is no money for anything.
i'm looking at the array of hospital bills on my bed and realizing there will be many more nights just like this one.
going to bed with an empty, growling belly and no money and waking up just the same.

i thought i had cancer. maybe cancer actually has me.