every night when we come home, i put on whatever dvd i pick up first- pop it in, and head to the bathroom to brush my teeth( dont want him to taste the cigarette on my breath ( Read more... )

lately it seems like the amount of people i hang out with is shrinking and shrinking-
it just goes to show someone can be such a huge part of your life one minute, and within a few months you can be strangers all over again.
no matter how much you've done for someone, or they've done for you, people change.
grow apart.
i guess it just makes me all the ( Read more... )

I hope my smile ( Read more... )

i have the most amazing best friends.
theyre all i need, they make my birthday.
i am now 21. i can drink in the states. i guess you could call me an adult now.
adult enough to realise even though some people you thought would always remember your birthday, just dont anymore.
and thats okay because the ones that do, you are more than thankful for.

( Read more... )

my skin is squirming ( Read more... )

I want a lover I don't have to love,
I want a boy who's so drunk he doesn't talk.
Where's the kid with the chemicals?
I got a hunger and I can't seem to get full.
I need a meaning I can memorize.
The kind I have always seems to slip my mind.

sometimes it feels like our lives(together) is a coming of age story,
that some independent directior could have made (some of the details are too rated R for hollywood),
some romances too dark,
some drug habits not glamorous enough,
some debt too real for any protagonist to over come,
some family affairs too uncertain to write a solid ending for,

but ( Read more... )

strike a match and burn away every tie that binds me to this place.
well, at least for 7 days.
in one day i will no longer have to work in a grocery store,
or work in an elementry school with apathetic kids,
nor will i have to count the snow flakes hitting my face as im being buried alive by the weather,
or the heavy depression it inflicts on us all.
( Read more... )

my life consists of,
6 streets,
5 bad habits,
4 best friends,
3 words i dont know if i'll ever mean, in the way i want them to,
2 shitty jobs i cant take much more of,
and 1 major fucking issue.

i dont know how to fix anything anymore.

sometimes,
i feel like someone needs to just shake me.
so hard, and scream open your eyes.
see whats in front of me,
and do something about it.

but for now,
i'll just continue to sit here and let everything and everyone pass me by.

my friends just left my house. we were watching episodes of drawn together, the minute theyre gone, i sit here and ( Read more... )