1 vanilla vodka and coke

6 raspberry kamikazes and

1/2 a beer later...

im as krunk as ever.

after the shittiest wedding in the history of weddings i lost my wallet.

credit cards, license, pictures, notes, social security card (i know, i know) - all gone.

yesterday sucked ass. except for my nails looking all purdy.

i need goat cheese.

i wish i could stand the taste of beer. i sometimes forget that beer tastes like piss and attempt to drink it, only to find that yes, it does indeed taste like piss. maybe im just not drinking the right kind ( Read more... )

im only good for one thing.

in 3 years im going to be a coked-out second grade teacher who snorts her lines off the desks of her students when they leave for recess ( Read more... )

i think what my problem is, is i dont think about the consequences of my actions. i mean, i think about them, but they dont seem very real or likely. in actuality they are incredibly likely. so, i guess what im trying to say is that im screwing myself over for the future. good stuff.

peace.

these are the people that invented fireworks. youre not gonna do it.

never underestimate the power of the remark "thats what she said." its the perfect response to just about any statement.

"that hot dog is quite large."

"i could hardly feel the needle at all doctor. it was such a little prick."

"this sure is hard."

you see? works with everything.

why do i neglect you?

its friday. i dont have to work. thats good. i sorta want to do something, but sorta dont. nothing really late anyway ( Read more... )