"sit with that" what does it even mean? I am sitting with ym anger right now. i am angry at mt fucking thankless ass job that fucking sucks bricks and i feel so powerless and miserable and i hate that i didn'tmask for more money and i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate i i am so under appreciated and treated like shit.

i hate how the assumption is ( Read more... )

forcing myself to fucking joruan i hate journaling

Avocado hash brown egg

Bacon egg and cheese

the lord is testing me. Sunday one of the doors fell off the set. During the performance. I don't feel like writing anymore. more later.

feeling less suicidal day. I hate to admit it but I guess meditation helps. Actually did it twice today.

Last night or rather this morning, I had an aquarium dream again. That's a not uncommon theme in my dreams.

staying in a duplex loft apartment somewhere in europe. brown paneling walls.

I had two aquariums. One was wide and shallow. The other ( Read more... )

How the hell are you supposed to journal about your feelings? I'm sad. That's it. End of entry.

Apparently handwriting in a journal is much more effective than typing at least from a therapeutic standpoint. However my handwriting is horrible, just absolutely awful - if I have to write neatly I have to write VERY SLOWLY. I like to tell people "I can write neatly, or I can write quickly. I cannot do both."

I think it's because my thoughts are ( Read more... )

Community Gardens The Bronx Greenmarket Hot Sauce by Small Axe Peppers

Serrano pepper based. Bought in like 2020? Maybe 2019? Smells... old. in a somewhat nice way. already feel a kick. a little vinegary. Juicy. Hadn't bene refigerating it.

Refractory Period Picante Pussy 2023

Watery, bottle filled to the brim. Barely enough to shake up. First ( Read more... )

mom is here. she had 2 glasses of prosecco and was buzzed/silly/lit. she said she hadn't drank for 3 weeks becaue of antibiotics.

i had 1 drink (hot apple cider w rum) and 1 glass of prosecco and 1 spritzer. broke my 4 day(?) streak.

my apartment is clean but not organized.

kind of excited to hopefully feel and look better and maybe do fulfilling ( Read more... )

Actually, lemme rephrase that. Big parties are fine. Like, at a venue or bar. What I find exhausting are the medium-small ones, like with 10-30 people. no escape.