Comments | titia: Wanted to let everyone know what happened

titia

Wanted to let everyone know what happened

Nov 19, 2006 15:43

WARNING: This is going to be very long, descriptive and graphic. I am quite detail oriented and have to get it out. Also because if I can help someone who has to go through this maybe they won't have to endure such a long process as I did.
My levels had only gone down from 329 to 290 from Mon to Fri last week, really crawling, so I went ahead ( Read more... )

Comments 36

amylynn_m November 20 2006, 03:56:03 UTC

I'm here thinking of you too...more HUGS coming your way sweetie.

titia November 22 2006, 20:42:47 UTC

Thanks Aim.
We need all the thoughts we can get.

lizandkeith November 20 2006, 13:13:32 UTC

Oh, T...I'm in tears. I can't even begin to imagine how emotional it was to see your baby. I wish I was there so I could give you a big hug. I'll be thinking of you and praying for you for the strength to get through this. (((HUGS)))

titia November 22 2006, 20:44:36 UTC

I didn't mean to put you in tears...
Like I said I'm a pretty open and emotional person so I just let that come out in my posts sometimes.
It was hard though, I won't pretend it wasn't.

Thank you for your thoughts, I do appreciate them.

luvbeingamommy November 20 2006, 15:23:30 UTC

I am so sorry you had to go through all of this. It sounds like what I went through, and it is just so horrible, I don't wish it upon even my worse enemy. Hopefully now it will be easier for you to move on now and heal. Please don't beat yourself up for waiting too long. You did what you felt was best.

titia November 22 2006, 20:46:44 UTC

It really is - I know you understand.

I hope we can heal now too, I really really do.

Honestly I don't know if I did what I felt was best...I felt like things weren't happening like they should long before I asked for the cyto. It's probably that I'm focusing on that now to take my mind off the grief, kwim?

jacksonsmama November 20 2006, 16:46:20 UTC

Oh, Titia, I am so sorry but at the same time, I am relieved for you for this to finally be over. Please know that I am reading along with every post you make and praying for you guys.

xoxo-
Suzette

titia November 22 2006, 20:48:22 UTC

Thanks Suzette.
I think that it (hopefully) finally being over is why I don't feel as bad as I thought I would. I still feel horribly horribly sad, but not incapacitated by it like I was for a while after we found out.

Thanks for your thoughts, we sure do need them and appreciate them.

madismom November 20 2006, 19:05:45 UTC

I am so sorry you had to go through this so long, physically. I am glad that the cytotec worked, though wish it wasn't so physically grueling. I'm angry that the m/w didn't listen to you though.:-( She should've trusted you, you know your body and you were right. I am very sad for you, Steve, Holden, and the baby. I know it must've been really hard to see your baby like that.

titia November 22 2006, 20:52:19 UTC

The physical part wasn't as bad as labor pain wise so even though it was traumatic, it wasn't *horrible*.

Well it's kind of good to know someone else is angry with the m/w. I have never really trusted myself with my body, always thought I overreacted to everything and I'm guessing that's what she thought too.
Since I hadn't been through it before (and PLEASE don't ever have to again) I didn't know what wasn't happening, you know? But I can't believe she thought that what I had described to her before could have been it after I really did experience it, if that makes sense.

Yes, it was hard, but I think it is what I needed.