Shit is finally starting to work out for me. got my name change paperwork in, upped my t-dosage to 100/biweekly, moved into my place. got a good job (hopefully i'll keep it long enough to take care of my bills before surgery), continuing to shed pounds. still trying to break away from my unhealthy relationship, people wonder why i don't jus get ( Read more... )

Anyone who knows me, knows I can get myself into some trouble every now and again.  Trouble seemed to follow me after I signed four years of my life away to the governement.  From hopping barbed wire TJ border fences (with the scares to prove it), to hookin up with other consenting adults at the company Christmas party, it seemed bad shit just kept ( Read more... )

I've been posting mostly on myspace exclusively if your interested in checking them out hit me up here - http://www.myspace.com/tisaballer -- So far, so good on their no negativity spewing from the cyber idiots that lurk in the dark.   I started posting on their inital to covertly talk to this girl i was kinda dating and it worked. She got even ( Read more... )

After watching the 2nd have of "Cubbyholes:Trans men in action" i was actually unhorny.  I've never had this experience after watching a flix before, it's amazing. i'm going going to through scene by scene I'll just list some highlights. Ian Sparks was the best actor in the whole flix simply because he gave a little commentary wit the footage.  ( Read more... )

So, I just finished watching the first half of the flix and wow - This is my first ftm porn, and I guess I was expecting it to be more hardcore than it actually was, i'm so far kind of dissappointed.  I'm a big fan of porn of all sorts, I find it interesting and credit most of my style to the works of such artists as Mr. Marks, Superhead, and ( Read more... )

I start school back up tomorrow. I'm single again for the millionth time in 6 months.  Honestly, i like to think of my as being single since July 6th (yep, 4 days before my muthafuckin bday) and i just fell off the wagon a couple of times.  I think that if i write about the incident that happened it will help me get some closer cause otherwise i'm ( Read more... )

i've felt like the person i've been with was my everything and then what seemed like shortly after i've  been feeling like the very same person is nothing more than the average person. I've never had that feeling before.  I've been feeling lately like the person inside of me isn't black enough to fit it wit the black crowd, which i've felt quite ( Read more... )

Physically, i see no differences really - i'm thinking about going back to the clinic to up my dosage cause it seems to be lower than the other guys that I talk to so we'll see how that goes.  My car broke down AGAIN, its a '01 mits. galant and i've never had this many problems. I guess all the cross country road trips i went on are starting to ( Read more... )

and I feel myself slowly backing back into my shell.  I feel awkward but I'm comfortable, I don't like it but its secure.  I'm timid, shy, uncertain, and confused.  I can't pin-point these feelings but I'm almost certain that the root of these feelings is a toss up between my girl and sleep deprivation.  I've been running around trying to keep my ( Read more... )