Hakuouki Drama CD- Shinsengumi Detective Files #2
Title: Shinsengumi Detective Files (Shinsengumi Torimonohikae / 新選組捕物控)
Genre: Comedy
Characters: Inoue, Souji, Heisuke, Shinpachi, Sano, Saitou
Since I want to keep the translation open, I can't provide download link here. ^^; This is available in Hakuoki community. In case you can't access the post, plz check community policy #3.
Please don't copy-paste the translation elsewhere! Linking to this page is okay.
Previous Track.
Inoue: Souji! Souji! Wake up!
Souji: Umm? It's already dusk? When did I fell asleep?
Inoue: That's not important. The uniform hung in the courtyard! It's gone. Do you have any idea where it went?
Souji: Eeh? It's gone?
Inoue: Yes. I looked everywhere in the quarters. Can it be stolen?
Souji: How come? Who would want to steal our uniform? It's too flashy for an overcoat.
Inoue: But it is gone.
Souji: Maybe... to tear it up and make floorcloths out of it? It's too stiff to be made into diapers.
Inoue: Floorcloths? Diapers? How would I apologize to Isami-san and Toshi-san if it turned out this way?
Souji: I'm joking. Someone must have collected it. Maybe Shinpachi or Sano at Maekawa's House. I'll go ask them.
Heisuke: Check!! Heh-heh. Shinpattsuan, time to get serious!
(Note: They're playing Shogi, aka Japanese Chess.)
Shinpachi: Ahh! Shoot. I thought I could escape. I'm checked again! Let's see, if I move the Silver General, then I'll be ambushed by that Rook over there. Darn. What should I do?
Heisuke: Take your time. But no regrets!
Shinpachi: Heisuke, you little rascal. Don't you have any samurai's mercy? And where's your respect for elders? Can't you let me have the credit for once?
Heisuke: You know the saying "a lion pounces with full strength even at a rabbit"? If you don't want to be further disgraced, you can surrender now, Shinpattsuan.
Shinpachi: Grr... Whoa! My foot slipped!
(Crash)
Heisuke: Aah! What are you doing! You kicked over the chessboard! The pieces are scattered everywhere!
Shinpachi: Can't be helped. I didn't mean it. C'mon, let's start a new game.
Heisuke: *sigh* Enough. I'm not playing with Shinpattsuan anymore. You always move the pieces when I go to the bathroom, or knock over the board when you're about to lose.
Shinpachi: Wait! What will people say if they know I lost to a kid like you? Please, Heisuke, just one more game?
Heisuke: I said no. No means no.
Shinpachi: You're stubborn for a kid. Whatever. How about Sano? It's been a while since our last match.
Sano: Sounds interesting. I'll give it a try.
Shinpachi: Alright. Bring it on!
Sano: I should let you know beforehand. I'm not as easygoing as Heisuke. If the chessboard suddenly tips over at the critical moment, you know what will happen.
Shinpachi: I... I know that! How could anyone full of samurai sprits like me do such a thing?
Heisuke: I didn't expect to hear that from you.
Shinpachi: Then I'll set the pieces. No handicaps, Sano.
Sano: While we're at it, there's something on my mind since a long time ago.
Shinpachi: Huh? What's that?
Sano: I can't bring myself to like this "Knight" guy jumping around. Relying on flying weapons? That's second rate for a man.
Shinpachi: You have a point. For this match, let's not use Knight.
Sano: See? And the Bishop gets on my nerve too. A man should face forward even at his death. What's with the walking diagonally?
Shinpachi: Same here! Let's leave that out too. By the way, I don't like Pawn at all. It's moving so slowly it's killing me.
Sano: Alright. Out with Pawn too. Then the Gold General and Silver General must go too.
Shinpachi: Rook must go too. It's a rule-breaker anyway. Why should we keep it?
Sano: I was going to say the same thing. But there sure aren't many pieces left. Only the King and Lance left... the Promoted Lance sure can't stay either.
Shinpachi: Of course! What's with the changing course? There is only one way for a man! Alright. First, I'll take your Lance.
Sano: Ah! You got me. Then I'll take your Lance with King.
Shinpachi: There goes my Lance too. Both of us have only the King left.
Sano: Yep. Now that's a one-on-one battle between men!
(Paper door opens)
Souji: Shinpachi, Sano, are you in?
Heisuke: Oh, Souji. What's going on?
Souji: There's something I want to ask. Am I interrupting your chess match?
Heisuke: Is that even chess? It looks like some other game already. I don't understand what fun is playing shogi with only Lance and King.
Souji: Hmm...
Heisuke: So, what do you need?
Souji: The uniform hung in the courtyard in Yagi's House. Any idea where it went?
Shinpachi: U... uniform?
Souji: Well! What is it, Shinpachi-san? Let me guess, you know something?
Shinpachi: No... No! I have no idea. What happened? Is it gone?
Souji: That's not "I have no idea" written all over your face.
Shinpachi: I... I really don't know! How could an honest man like me lie?
Souji: Huh. What about Heisuke-kun?
Heisuke: Err.. That's... I don't know about the uniform hung. When I cross the yard at dusk, I saw nothing there.
Souji: And Sano... there's no need to ask. If he knows something he'd say so. He's not good at lying.
Sano: Yep. It's almost time for the evening shift patrol. Better move quick! Hijikata-san will be furious if he finds out.
Souji: Yes. And if the word gets around, Hijikata-san isn't the only one troubled...
Heisuke: Huh? What is it?
Souji: Shh! Quiet! Somehow I feel when speaking that name, someone would certainly happen to pass by.
(Souji opens paper door)
Saitou: You've noticed.
Souji: Like I expected, it's you, Saitou-kun. I don't think it's a good habit to eavesdrop. How long have you been there?
Saitou: I have no obligation to answer you.
Souji: Um. Oh well. It doesn't matter if you don't want to answer. If you tell Hijikata-san what you've just heard, I'll be in trouble.
Shinpachi: No need to struggle, Souji. As faithful as Saitou is, he wouldn't cover this for you. Even begging or bribing wouldn't help.
Souji: I know. So that's not what I'm going to do. I'm offering a deal. Saitou-kun, you've been enthusiastic in sword practice lately, any injuries?
Saitou: It's useless to tempt me with Ishida Powdered Medicine.
Sano: Oh! Saitou finally realized it's a quack medicine.
Saitou: I've received a lot from Vice Commander lately. There's enough for a few months.
Sano: He's still keeping him in the dark... and even pressing his stock on him! Geez! Hijikata-san should just tell him the truth already!
(Note: He's talking about this incident.)
Souji: C'mon, it's not Ishida Powdered Medicine. It's something Saitou-kun would like more. Have you heard of Hogyoku Haiku Collection*?
Saitou: What!
Souji: I knew you'd know. Yes, it's the collection of haiku Hijikata-san wrote. Wouldn't Saitou-kun be interested? I happen to have a copy.
Saitou: I was strictly ordered by Vice Commander, "Don’t ever read that book no matter what Souji says".
Souji: Even so, don't you want to read it at least once? No one would know if I don't tell. These are poems written by Hijikata-san.
Saitou: Vice Commander's orders are absolute.
Souji: Say, Saitou-kun, can I ask you one thing? If you're not interested, why are you grabbing my arm like that?
Saitou: That's...
Souji: Let me make sure, can you keep a secret about the missing uniform, just for a while?
Saitou: As a member of Shinsengumi, I can't deceive the Vice Commander.
Souji: Is that so? Then...
Saitou: HOWEVER, I can forget about what I've heard for a little while.
Heisuke: Then let's get moving. If we can find it in time for evening patrol, maybe we can escape Hijikata-san's wrath.
Souji: Yes. While we're at it, Saitou-kun could help too.
Saitou: Why should I...
Souji: You don't want to? Then what I just said...
Saitou: Fine. I'll help. I have some free time anyway.
Souji: I knew you'd say that. Then, Pochi, why don't you take the lead?
(Pochi = most popular name for dogs in Japan.)
Saitou: Pochi... you say?
Heisuke: Hey, Souji. Isn't that like calling a dog?
Shinpachi: Yea... yeah. If Saitou gets ticked off from being call a dog, even you would be killed.
Souji: Haha. How come? Don't be so serious. It's just a joke.
Heisuke: No. It doesn't look like he recognized it as a joke. Hajime-kun is looking at Souji with a very scary expression.
Shinpachi: Souji, quit your slandering and apologize while you can. Or you wouldn't know when you lose your head.
Heisuke: Ah, Hajime-kun too, calm down. Remember the Shinsengumi Regulation, "no engaging in private fights".
(Music stops)
Saitou: Wan. (Japanese for "woof".)
Sano: Err... Sai... Saitou, I think my ears are deceiving me, what did you just say?
Heisuke: "Wan"... I think that's what he said. I could be wrong though.
Shinpachi: I... I think I heard something like a "wan" too. Maybe that a password or code for something? I don't think Saitou would ever say anything meaningless.
Sano: I get it! It must be a code! Say, Saitou, what was that for?
Saitou: Souji just called me Pochi.
Shinpachi: Ye... yeah. That's really going too far. We're trying to...
Saitou: I think "wan" would be the proper response for a dog...
(Silence)
Saitou: ... It's alright if you don't get it. Please forget it.
Sano: (whispers) Hey Shinpachi, was that Saitou's idea of a joke?
Shinpachi: (whispers) Now, how are we supposed to respond when he's saying "wan" with such a serious face? Can someone break the ice?
Heisuke: (whispers) But... Hajime-kun looks totally depressed. Anyway, should we laugh?
Sano: (whispers) No way!! If we give a polite laugh now, it'll only make him feel more miserable!
Souji: Alright, let's pull ourselves together and go look for the uniform. Would Pochi check the dōjō first?
Saitou: Wan.
Heisuke: Hajime-kun is back to normal. That reminds me, he seems to lighten up when Souji gets involved.
Sano: That Saitou, he's been looking for a chance to tell a joke naturally. I don't know what to do with him.
Next track.
Personal comments:
1) How did Inoue-san find Souji? O_o
2) Saitou's cuteness is limitless!! He's trying so hard to fit in with the others. But he's too serious to tell a joke. XD
3) Heisuke and Sano are so sweet, trying to make him feel better.
4) LOL @ Sano calmly threatening Shinpachi not to knock over the chessboard. Shinpachi, be a sport! XD
Notes:
1) Maekawa House (前川家)
At first, Roshigumi (later known as Shinsengumi) used Yagi's house for their headquarters. But they needed more space as more people join, so they rented Maekawa's house across the road from Yagi's. Unlike the Yagi family who stayed under the same roof with Shinsengumi, the Maekawa family couldn't stand the noise so they moved away.
Although Yagi House was kept as a memorial, Maekawa House was completely gone. I guess Maekawa family wasn't as attached to Shinsengumi as Yagi's children, who actually lived and played with Souji and the other young ones.
2) Hogyoku Haiku Collection (豊玉発句集)
"Hogyoku" is Hijikata Toshizou's pen name. This is a collection of his haiku, written before he went to Kyoto. The original copy is still kept in Hijikata Toshizou Museum.