Hakuouki drama CD - Shinsengumi Detective Files #3
Title: Shinsengumi Detective Files (Shinsengumi Torimonohikae / 新選組捕物控)
Genre: Comedy
Characters: Souji + baka trio ; Souji + Hijikata + Kondou + Sannan
The best part of this track is probably Kondou-san, since we rarely hear him talk this much, and this silly! XD
Previous track.
Souji: Now, where to begin? I think Inoue-san searched inside Yagi's house. Should we start with the courtyard?
Soldier: Captain Harada, do you have a minute?
Sano: Oh. What is it?
Soldier: Thank you for earlier today. Thanks to your help, I was saved.
Sano: No problem. So, how was it? Was it done smoothly?
Soldier: Yes. And the payment will be collected later. Thank you very much. Then, excuse me.
Souji: Sano-san being thanked. That's new.
Sano: Geez, Souji, what do you think of me anyway? I do get thanked every once in a while.
Souji: Really? Then, specifically, what did you do?
Sano: He said he needs laundry done, so I introduced him to a laundry store I know. It's better than to trouble Mr. Yagi or Mr. Maekawa.
Souji: Hmm.
Heisuke: Say, Souji and Sano-san, would you cut the chatting and start looking? If we can't find it, we'll witness Hijikata-san's fury unleashed again.
Sano: Alright, I get it.
Shinpachi: Ha~ah~ Can't find it. Heisuke, how about you?
Heisuke: I searched in the closet, the utility room, and anywhere I can think of. Still no trace of it. How about Sano-san?
Sano: No luck here. Po... I mean Saitou, and you?
Saitou: Regrettably, no luck either.
Souji: Oh well. It's about time for patrol. There's no choice but to report to Hijikata-san.
Heisuke: Will that be alright for you? He's totally going to lose it once you told him a uniform was lost.
Shinpachi: Ditto. He's going to do the stern face and say, "The uniform more important than your life was lost? What the heck are you doing? Do you call yourself a Shinsengumi executive?"
Souji: That, to an extent, happens all the time. I'll work something out. I guess.
Sano: Although we'd love to tag along, we already planned to go out this evening. Sorry.
Souji: The two of you going out? Shimabara again?
Shinpachi: Now, that's part of our job too. Like Hijikata-san said, civilians welcome Chōshū rōnins, and call them "Master Chōshū" because they spend big money in shops everywhere. Besides, the red-light district is where information gathers. Therefore, the reason why I visit Shimabara is for Shinsengumi, for protecting the people in Kyoto!
Souji: I gotcha. Then I'll convey the exact words to Hijikata-san. Surely you wouldn't mind.
Shinpachi: Give... give me a break, Souji! Can't you imagine how that inflexible Hijikata-san would react when hearing this?
Souji: Ha ha ha. I'm just kidding. Then, I better be going.
Hijikata: The uniform more important than your life was lost? What the heck are you doing? Do you call yourself a Shinsengumi executive?
Souji: Amazing. Exactly the same as Shinpachi predicted, from the beginning to the end.
Hijikata: Hey Souji, what are you mumbling? You aren't even listening.
Souji: How come? I'm all ears.
Hijikata: Heck. The uniform was gone while you're playing tag with kids? How lack of self-awareness can you be?
Souji: We're not playing tag. It's hide-and-seek.
Hijikata: How is that any different?!
Souji: Totally different. Is it alright for Master Hogyoku to be so inaccurate in wording?
Hijikata: Wha... Quit it! That has nothing to do with this issue. The issue we're at is the uniform you lost!
Souji: Hijikata-san's words are so boring that it's making me sleepy. The proper way to express the mood now would be... "with company, there will be no boredom, even in spring showers" (来た人にもらひあくひや春の雨).
Hijikata: I'm telling you not to change the subject! Pay attention when you're spoken to seriously, dammit!
Souji: I am being serious too. It's "faced with a heart like clear reflection in water" (差し向かう心は清き水鏡).
Hijikata: I told you not to recite my haiku one by one! I know full well I'm no expert in this! Fine, fine! Make a fool of me and laugh your head off! Satisfied?
Souji: Nah, no one is making a fool of you. I'm reciting because I think these are nicely done. And the best part is how these are written in lovely girly handwritings.
Hijikata: That does it! Come with me, Souji! I'll knock some sense into you in the dōjō!
Souji: Ain't going.
Hijikata: How dare you!
Kondou: Now, now, Toshi. There's no need to blow your top. It's just haiku being disparaged a little bit...
Hijikata: Look, how could I be so mad simply because of haiku? It's because he lost the uniform, out of his carelessness!
Kondou: Oh, that. You're right. But there's no need to keep an eye on washed clothes all day long. And isn't Souji already regretting it?
Hijikata: Where do you see any trace of regret in his attitude? It's because you always spoil him that...
Souji: Aah, what's lost is lost. It can't be helped. Why not make new ones? Chances like this doesn't happen every day. How about adding Kondou-san's favorite skull design this time?
Kondou: Re... really? That does sound great!
Hijikata: Other than Kondou-san, who would be happy with that kind of uniform? Rejected!
Kondou: Oh... I see... I knew skull wouldn't work. (depressed)
Hijikata: Err, no, I'm not criticizing your taste. I'm saying it's not suitable for uniform...
Souji: Aww. Poor Kondou-san! Hijikata-san, why are you bullying him? I understand that you lack popularity and no soldier likes you, but please don't take it out on people randomly.
Hijikata: I'm not taking it out randomly! It was all because of your carelessness to begin with!
Souji: Even if you keep repeating this, it won't bring the missing uniform back. By the way, at first, didn't Hijikata-san say the pattern was too primitive and you didn't like it? Isn't this a great chance to change it?
Hijikata: That's a different matter. Once something symbolistic like a uniform is lost, it can't be taken lightly with a "oh, I see." This is serious enough for seppuku.
Kondou: Now, now. It's no use to argue here. Maybe it was blown away. I'll go search outside...
Hijikata: There's no need for you to go! For this incident, Souji is responsible. As a Shinsengumi executive, he must take the responsibility and fix it by himself!
Kondou: But, Toshi...
Souji: Don't mind what Hijikata-san said. Would you go with me? I'll be thrilled if Kondou-san would join me.
Hijikata: Spoiling him will set a bad example for the common soldiers. You mustn't go. It's also for Souji's own good. Kondou-san!
Souji: C'mon, let's go.
Kondou: Ah, okay, okay.
Souji: C'mon, C'mon.
Hijikata: Didn't I say you mustn't go? Kondou-san!
Kondou: But Toshi...
Souji: Just ignore him.
Kondou: Umm...
Hijikata: Wait! Are you even listening to me?
Kondou: Ah... Umm...
Souji: Quit nagging. Let's go.
Hijikata: Who are you calling nagging!
Kondou: Hey...
Hijikata: Kondou-san, let go. I'm telling you not to go!
Kondou: Ah. I'm not going. Not going.
Souji: This way.
(paper door opens)
Sannan: I beg your pardon for interrupting your conversation.
Hijikata: Oh, Sannan-san, what is it?
Sannan: Odd rumors were spreading among the common soldiers. I believe the commander should be informed of this.
Kondou: Odd rumors?
Sannan: You, please go on.
Soldier: Yes sir. Actually, at dusk today, I saw an unfamiliar man in the quarters.
Hijikata: An unfamiliar man?
Soldier: He seems to be a merchant. I thought he's a storekeeper who supported Yagi's, or an acquaintance of one of the executives, so I didn't pay much attention to him. But when he walked by me, I heard him talking to himself about Shinsengumi.
Hijikata: What did he say?
Soldier: Some... something like "Shinsengumi isn't so fearsome. The quarters is empty. It's easy to get in and out."
Hijikata: What the... And you! You just sat there and listened to this crap?!
Soldier: No... no! I... I got up as quick as I can and chased after him. But it was too late.
Sannan: Hijikata-kun, it's useless to scold him now. That aside, the first priority should be finding out who this intruder is.
Hijikata: *sigh* Fine. Consider yourself lucky. You're excused.
Soldier: Yes sir. Excuse me.
(paper door closes)
Kondou: But what's going on? Who is this intruder this afternoon?
Hijikata: It's hard to tell from what we just heard. Perhaps the missing uniform was also his doing.
Kondou: He came in to steal? But what good is stealing a uniform? It's too eye-catching to wear outside.
Sannan: Eye-catching is exactly the reason to steal it. Why don't we consider it this way?
Kondou: What do you mean, Sannan-kun?
Sannan: To imitate Shinsengumi and do ruthless things, giving us bad reputations, getting us hated by the people in Kyoto, and making it impossible for us to patrol the streets. Isn't this the situation those lawless rōnins longed for?
Hijikata: People in Kyoto always favored Chōshū side. We finally got a little bit of support after Serizawa-san's death. All our efforts would be in vain if we go back to point zero.
Souji: This is becoming a complicated conversation. I think it's about time I go back to my room.
Hijikata: Hold it right there, Souji. You will go and find the stolen uniform now.
Souji: Me? Why?
Hijikata: What do you mean "why"? It was all because of you!
Sannan: Okita-kun, Inoue-san felt responsible for the lost uniform, and already left to search for it outside. Now, do you have any opinion after hearing this?
Souji: I see. Since Sannan-san put it this way, I can't say no.
Hijikata: Why was that totally different from your attitude towards me?
Souji: You're imagining things. I'll be leaving now.
(paper door opens and closes)
Kondou: Say, Toshi, Sannan-kun, is it alright to leave it to Souji alone? If what you guessed is real, shouldn't we spilt up and go search too?
Hijikata: Agreed. If the suspect is a sonnō jōi rōnin, I don't think Souji alone can find him. In this city, there are countless people who would happily hide sonnō jōi rōnins. I wouldn't be surprised if the search ends up in a combat.
Sannan: There's no need. And isn't it better to not make a hassle?
Kondou: What do you mean by that?
Sannan: You will soon see.
Next track.
Personal comment:
1) Sano almost said "pochi"! XD
2) Kondou, Hijikata, and Souji are like a family. Their argument is so... Luckily they have Sannan to stop the silliness.
3) Two of Hijikata's haiku was used in this track. Poetry isn't my forte, be it Japanese or English. Therefore I decided to simply get the meaning through, instead of trying to make them look more poetic and be stuck in this track forever.
Hijikata-san, I'm sorry~~~ *cries*
Notes:
Hijikata Toshizou's handwriting. Source.
Personally I'd say this handwriting is slender and delicate. It's more like the handwriting of a poet, rather than the "oni vice commander" that led one of the most feared group in Bakumatsu. :)
Poets often write this way. Souji is being a little meanie with his "girly" comment. XD
Kondou-san actually did have outfits with skull on his back!
This was what he wore when practicing swords back in Shieikan. It was kept in his friend's house when he left for Kyoto.
The skull on the back was sewn by his wife. Being back-to-back with a skull was to show unafraid of death.
And it's the exact same skull on this flag!
(Click on the thumbnail for full pic.)
BTW here's the original version. It's such a beautiful art. But ever since I saw the Bōsōzoku version, I can never look at this pic without laughing.
