LJ Idol - Week 21 - The Way Back

[tonithegreat]

In the first dream, there was a delicious sense of ease. There was only blackness but it felt so good not to be striving anymore. Somehow everything had become relaxed. No more aching shoulders. No more tight neck. Her ankles and knees didn’t ache anymore and it felt so good to float without form

Comments

[rayaso]

I loved this. The way you structured it was so clever, and the end was perfect. Great work.

[tonithegreat]

Thank you! My family all critiqued my ending pretty harshly but then couldn’t give me anything constructive on how to tighten it up (one can’t really complain about the eleven year olds not being excellent at concrit yet, though) so I really appreciate that the structure worked for you.

[halfshellvenus]

I loved the dream details in this, which alluded to what was really happening in the waking world, even before Something about her snorkel felt wrong. The patient was really lucky to be getting better!

I'd never thought about scallops having eyes before, so I Googled that and came across a short video of one "swimming"-- which seems to be more akin to navigating by means of repeated "nomming." ;)

[tonithegreat]

Yes, scallops are really amazing little alien creatures! It’s great fun to snorkel along and harvest them, but they’re really also cool just to observe. I wonder if there will be a scalloping season this summer. The weather has been so crazy and the gulf is already so warm. . .

[marlawentmad]

This is wonderfully done!

[flipflop_diva]

Ahhhh, this is great. So evocative and with such great imagery. I had a feeling the whole time it was the dreams of someone who was dying. So I'm happy that she is actually getting better!

[xlovebecomesher]

Love the take on the topic :)