Comments | toppla: broken (up)

toppla

broken (up)

Apr 29, 2006 10:45

I really don't know what to do wih myself since casey and i broke up. My whole life was balanced against hers. Plans for coexistence were made and remade and discussed and dreamed about. Houses with yards and a dog, shared space and shared lives. We were so in love, so right, we had it all ( Read more... )

Comments 7

iowayehudit April 29 2006, 16:26:34 UTC

Here are some kind words that are true: you are an absolutely fantastic person. And maybe your whole life shouldn't be balanced against someone else's. Even though it nearly killed me, I'm glad I came to Iowa instead of giving up this chance at grad school to stay with Steven in England and work at Wal Mart or something. It's hard, but I have to do what's best for me right now. I think you should look into some programs that let you travel and get the hell out of the States. Get your feet under you, and let yourself figure things out on your own. You are an amazing person, and I really wish the best for you. Maybe you should come visit Iowa and we could eat a lot of corn. I am mentally giving you a hug right now.

toppla April 29 2006, 16:57:15 UTC

They have Wal Mart in England?

It's hard to see anything else right now. For a year we've been planning our parallel lives, and now it's suddenly just not an option.

It hurts when dreams are shattered, you know?

iowayehudit April 29 2006, 17:34:08 UTC

They do have Wal-Mart in England, but they call it ASDA. That's actually where Steven works, because grad students in English have no marketable skills.

I won't even pretend that I can imagine the pain and disorientation you feel right now. No one should expect you to snap out of it at this moment; you have a perfect right to sleep all day if you want to and feel sad. It's a sad situation, and it's leaving you with some extremely difficult questions. However long it takes, though, you need to figure out what you want. Then do it. Kick the world's ass.

dorksterali April 29 2006, 17:14:11 UTC

oh, boo. you need some time for yourself to figure it all out. go on a vacation. i'm going to africa this summer for a 2-3 weeks. you should come with. just get yourself out of fucking hattiesburg. it's only gonna drag you down.

steadyasitcomes April 29 2006, 22:07:34 UTC

ohh, this hurt my heart. i'm a professional at heartbroeak, and the only way i've learned to deal is to recognize that it'll pass. the worst advice ever, i know. i feel for you. i really do. hang in there.

mhferrell April 29 2006, 22:23:44 UTC

i'm sorry you're hurting :(

my advice: give yourself time and permission to feel sad. on the flip side, try not to isolate youself. see your friends, get out and do things. remember that it'll get better.

(The comment has been removed)

Re: I'm Not Stalking, I Swear! toppla July 5 2006, 03:59:56 UTC

you know, it's been about two months now and things continue to get better. i cut off all contact from her, and while i still think about her a lot, i become more and more myself every day.

but it's true: staying busy and keeping in contact with people is a must. i have a strong tendency to become bitter about people and situations, but from the outset i've been determined not to do that this time, and that's worked to some degree.

it's impossible to move on unless you just suck it up and do it, no matter how strongly your emotions/ psyche rebel.

the universe unfolds as it will, to borrow your phrase, and it's better for everyone when bitterness is avoided. although it can be pretty damn tempting.

thanks for the comment!
(how'd you stumble upon my journal, anyhow?)