Nights are worse than the days

Nov 25, 2003 11:56

For the last few weeks, my dreams have been ridiculously literal ( Read more... )

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Comments 8

mufflerman November 25 2003, 20:24:48 UTC
Hey Charlie-

Don't take this the wrong way, but it sounds like you need professional help. Conner's suicide is having a profound effect on you and it sounds like you're having troublecoming up with coping mechanisms for it. Watching "It's My Party" is probably not the best way to deal. I know the urge to understand death, but if you focus on it completely, it can consume you.

Speaking of car accidents. I was in one. I didn't have the time to tell you when you called, but I am still, obviously,alive.

I miss you alot. Please take care of yourself.

- J

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totalvirility November 25 2003, 21:40:16 UTC
I don't neccessarily think you are correct; I quite agree that Conner's suicide has had a large impact on me, but given the fact that it was 3 weeks ago, it is nothing but natural that it continues to dictate my current emotions. And, as with most things, I have coping mechanisms aplenty.

I may not have made it clear that I didn't plan on watching "It's My Party"; I flipped around on TV, unable to find anything that even remotely approximated 'good' before landing on its opening credits, and sort of settled on it.
I also don't neccessarily regard it as a bad idea to have watched it, as it did provide a great catharsis.

I think that grieving is important, and that when a death smacks you like that you need to let it consume you for at least awhile. Feeling like this 3 weeks after the fact is not a problem; if it felt like this after several months, that is a different story.

I'm sorry to hear about your car accident.

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3rdworldcinema November 26 2003, 14:55:46 UTC
C-

yeah, dont listen to Japh Japh...of course the events are still weighing heavily on you, effecting your subconscience etc. I glad you got to have a good cry. Have you even seen that short film IN THE GLOAMING? OMG, buckets every time I see, which is about 5 as I like self-torture

hopefuly I shall see you someday

lix

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lapsedmodernist November 26 2003, 21:25:17 UTC
sweetheart, i told you on the phone last night, you should maybe watch what you watch...toe the melancholy/grief but don't get lost in it. and do tell mufflerman to fuck off to some place where his presumptious insensitively phrased comments are welcome.

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There's nothing you can really do anonymous November 26 2003, 17:19:48 UTC
I'm sorry to hear about your dreams. I know that sort of thing is torture, and unfortunatly it doesn't go away for awhile. I think your response to mufflermanwas good--grieving takes a long time, and although it is torture, to not do it is worse. My 19y/o brother was killed in an auto accident in August. I see him almost every night in my dreams. Sometimes bloody, sometimes happy, but always dead, and that is the fucked up reality.
Try to get physically exhausted before bed, it is so far the only thing that works .
Good Luck.

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Re: There's nothing you can really do totalvirility November 26 2003, 20:15:36 UTC
My goodness; who is this?
Whomever it is, let me offer my condolences for your brother...

And thanks for yr message.

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mufflerman November 30 2003, 19:37:55 UTC
Well- I know all your friends hate me and think I'm insensitive, but frankly, they can fuck off.

Charlie, I'm not saying that anything is wrong with you. I think you should be grieving and that it's alright to do so. I also think- and know from experience, that it helps to have someone to talk to who is trained in dealing with these kind of situations.

While your friends might think it's fine for you to be miserable, I was just reccomending that you don't have to necessarily do it all alone.

Sorry I'm so fucking insensitive

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