Some nights the house seems especially large and lonely. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night thinking I hear Go stones being placed. That father's returned at some ridiculous hour with some Go-playing friend from his travels and that they are too jetlagged to sleep ( Read more... )

I have been reading father's Go history books in my so-called spare time. I feel so very busy, and yet I seem to have too much time alone ( Read more... )

Why am I not surprised?


( Read more... )

So, Shindou worked a miracle and I'm joining Waya's round robin group. I haven't played some of them in a while so my notion of their Go is outdated, but it won't stay that way for long. I made Shindou show me his last few games against Waya, Isumi, and Ochi at the Go salon. Ochi is about where I expect. Waya and Isumi I hadn't seen for a while. I ( Read more... )

I guess the nights of sleeping well were short-lived. Here I am again, haunting the Internet and listening to the radio, because it shakes that feeling that I'm the only one in the entire city awake. Or alive. I know it's not true, but this house seems to be getting bigger all the time. Maybe I should move to my own place, but then my parents will ( Read more... )

Well, I knew taking that step with Ko (or anyone) was going to change something, but I thought the change would be in me. Instead, it seems like it changed things with Shindou. I didn't realize that it would, but now in hindsight it's stupidly obvious that he was going to be upset no matter what, although I still haven't quite pegged which reason ( Read more... )

So last night

I cannot stop thinking about Ko Yeong-ha's eyes hands coHow did I get myself into this? I feel I'm walking a sword edge, one slip and I'll fall, but I am already committed. What is done is done, and every time I tell myself I should just face it and tell him it didn't count and I never again I feel physically ill with longing. No ( Read more... )

Ashiwara, you sent me this "which anime character are you?" quiz. Here's what I got.


( Read more... )

I got an email from Ogata-san today. It was the first time I've heard from him in a while. He was saying he has been trying to get my father to learn to use email, and wants me to apply pressure to him as well. I haven't replied. I don't really need father to learn email -- we play Internet Go every few days and he at least has learned to use the ( Read more... )