(no subject)
Title: Sleepless Night
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Don/Ray
Summary: Ray’s tangle with Ian has more than just physical consequences
AN: As always thanks to crashdownpixie for being an amazing beta!
Vicious Cycle:
The Only Deal You’ll Find, I’ll Gladly Take Your Soul
Another Night (Wishing I Wasn’t Here
Line In The Sand
Hit the Floor
Don was always awake as soon as one of Ray’s nightmares started. It had been a surprise when they first became roommates. They hadn’t been friends at first, because Ray had been standoffish and rude. They’d almost gotten into a fistfight, because Don had never backed down when someone pushed his buttons. It had turned out that they had that in common.
The first night when Don had woken up to Ray’s calls for help and for mercy, Don had felt his opinion of his roommate shift. He’d respectfully pretended to be asleep when Ray had come awake with a cry and had done so ever since.
It was hard sometimes; for all that they picked on one another they really were friends and he had come to hate the pain he heard Ray suffer every night. He was so attuned to Ray that the first murmur of distress from the bed next to his had him alert. Sometimes he had to fight the urge to comfort his friend because he knew it would be unwelcome.
One of their many roommates, a boy named Dexter, had made the mistake of poking fun at Ray for it. Dexter had been “accidentally” pushed down a flight of stairs later that day. The fall had broken his arm and though Dexter had tried to say that Don had pushed him there was no proof. Dexter had been transferred to a different room after that.
Ray didn’t need protecting, Don knew that. He also knew about what Ray had gone through the first half of their freshmen year before Gunnar had disappeared. Don had laughed when he had found out about the boy taped to the flagpole. He had witnessed one of the epic beat downs that always seemed to end with Ray bleeding on the floor and only Gunnar’s goon friends as witnesses.
Don wished that he had put a stop to it then, but it was more likely that if he’d stepped in he would’ve gotten a beating too. He wasn’t strong like Ray nor did he have preflex like Gunnar.
Don had thought Ray’s nightmares were about that until he had heard “dad, don’t” one night, in the midst of Ray thrashing about. It didn’t take a genius to figure it out. It was no wonder that Ray was actually happy to stay at Tower Prep and never questioned the purpose of it.
Lately, Ray’s nightmares had gotten better. He’d been having fewer of them and the ones he did have had stopped escalating to anything more than a few whimpers. It still made something in Don’s heart twist, but it was more bearable than what they’d been.
That was, until Ray came back to their dorm with bloody knuckles and an obviously battered body. He tried to play it off as just a small confrontation with Archer, but Don could tell he was really hurting, especially when all Ray did was strip down to his undershirt and boxers and crawl into bed.
When Don turned in for bed he knew he wasn’t going to sleep for long. He was proven right, when some time later, he heard a soft whimper from Ray’s bed. There was the soft sound of sheets shifting and another fearful whimper that tore at Don’s heart. He wanted so badly shake Ray awake and tell him he was safe and that his father wasn’t going to hurt him again.
Instead, he just listened as it got worse. The whimpers escalated into soft cries and Ray started thrashing. Usually that was when Ray woke up, gasping for breath and crying; that didn’t happen. His cries turned into screams and his thrashing got frantic.
For the first time ever, Don decided to intervene. He threw his covers back and scooted out of his bed. When he got a good look at Ray, he realized what must have amplified his nightmare. Ray was completely tangled up in his sheets, hopelessly so.
Don reached down and grasped Ray’s shoulder. He half-expected Ray to come awake with a shout, maybe try and take a swing at him, but instead the other boy cowered. It was so completely opposite of everything Ray was that Don was thrown for a loop.
“Ray,” Don called softly.
“No, please don’t,” Ray cried, body shaking.
It made Don sick to think he was making Ray’s nightmare worse. He shook Ray’s shoulder roughly to try and break Ray out of the dark place. Ray came awake violently, twisting away from what he must have perceived as a threat. Don tried to make a grab for his friend, but in Ray’s desperate bid to get away he tumbled over the other side of the bed. The crash that followed made Don wince.
Don crawled across the bed and looked down to see Ray curled up and shivering, still tangled in the sheets. Ray’s eyes were closed, but Don knew he was awake. His erratic breathing worried Don a little.
“Ray?” Don said softly.
Ray seemed to try and curl up further in on himself. “Go ‘way.”
“Come on, man, let me help you,” Don said.
“Leave me the fuck alone,” Ray snarled and began struggling to free himself of the sheets.
When he could not immediately free himself, Ray began to panic. Despite Ray’s demands, Don got down on the floor and began pulling and untangling the sheets. When Ray’s upper body was free, he shoved Don away and finished the rest himself.
“Don’t touch me,” Ray warned, though Don could see through the act. It was like a bird puffing up its feathers to look more threatening.
“Alright man, alright,” Don said and slowly got to his feet.
Don expected Ray to get up, but the other boy just leaned against his nightstand with his knees pulled up to his chest and buried his face in his arms. He had seen Ray lose a fight, but even then Don had never seen Ray look so vulnerable. He didn’t know what to do about it.
“Stop staring at me,” Ray said, lifting his head to glare at Don. The effect was ruined by the tears in his eyes.
“Dude-.”
“Just go back to bed already. You don’t have to pretend to care,” Ray said and buried his head again. “if you laugh I’ll kick your ass.”
“I’m not gonna laugh, dude,” Don said. “Calm down before you give yourself a heart attack.”
“Leave me the fuck alone already,” Ray snarled. “I’m not going to have a heart-to-heart with you and tell you my dirty little secrets just so you can use them against me.”
Don blinked and frowned. “I wouldn’t use them against you.”
“You say that, but everyone is the same,” Ray said, looking up again. “Show any weakness and they will go for the throat. I’ve seen you do it.”
“Yeah, against people who aren’t my friends,” Don replied.
“That’s what they all say.”
Don huffed out a breath and crossed his arms. “I’m not going to stand here and beg you to talk to me, man. If you want to keep crying yourself to sleep you just go right ahead.”
“I don’t cry myself to sleep,” Ray said defensively.
Don uncrossed his arms and Ray flinched violently. “Fine, wake up crying, whatever.”
“If you say one word about this to anyone else--.”
“Dude, why the hell would I do that?”
“-I’ll make sure you regret it.”
Don rolled his eyes. It was kind of funny coming from a person huddled in on himself looking more like a scared kid than the bad ass he tried was trying to be.
“I’ve heard you crying out to your dad to stop for the past year and I haven’t said anything to anyone,” Don said.
Ray paled and Don could see him swallow hard. “You what?”
“I’ve been awake for every nightmare, Ray. I pushed Dexter down the stairs because I heard him taunt you about it,” Don revealed.
“You did?” Ray asked, clearly surprised.
“Yeah man, no asshole is going to use something like that against one of my friends,” Don said, smiling slightly.
“I, um, I don’t really know how to be someone’s friend,” Ray said softly. “I’ve never really had friends before. I didn’t even know we were friends.”
“What do you call sitting together at lunch? Or torturing the new kids together? Or any of the other various activities we’ve done together for the past year?”
Ray shrugged. “Being roommates?”
Don should’ve probably felt hurt by the fact that Ray didn’t realize they were friends, but he didn’t. Instead he felt his heart twist for the image Ray’s words painted in his mind. Someone who had never had a friend couldn’t recognize friendship.
“Aren’t you friends with your Rook pals?” Don asked curiously.
Ray frowned. “They’re my Brothers, but we aren’t all friends.”
The way Ray said it led Don to believe there was more to that story, but he didn’t question it. He felt it was probably more important to address the actual issue at hand-their friendship.
“What would you do if you saw Archer pushing me around?” Don asked.
Ray’s eyes flashed with anger. “I would kick his ass.”
“That’s what friends do for each other,” Don said. “I have your back and you have my back, always.”
The anger faded from Ray’s eyes and he looked thoughtful. Slowly, he uncurled his body and stood up. He plopped down on the bed and Don sat down on the end of the bed.
“What if you found out your friend is weak and pathetic?” Ray asked.
“I would say it’s not true,” Don said immediately. “You don’t have to tell me anything, Ray, I can already guess some of it, but if you need to talk about it you can.”
Ray was silent for a long time, staring down at the bed like it had all the answers. Don waited patiently even though they both should have gone back to bed already. They both had a class early in the morning and were going to be very tired. That became the last thing on Don’s mind when Ray started talking.
“I’ve always been a small kid, y’know? My older brother, Mark, was the jock, the popular kid-everything I wasn’t. Things were okay while he was around. My dad obviously favored him, but y’know, that was to be expected because he was perfect,” Ray paused and swallowed hard. “Then, one day we were playing out in the yard and I kicked the soccer ball too hard and it went into the street. Mark ran out to get it, but he didn’t look first and h-he was hit by a car going too fast. It killed him instantly.”
Don’s heart sank with each word, and when Ray had to stop to swallow his tears, Don felt his own eyes prickle. He stayed quiet while Ray took deep breaths to calm himself. Without thinking, Don reached out and put a hand on Ray’s knee. To his surprise, Ray didn’t pull away.
“After that, my dad didn’t even try to hide how much he hated me, how ashamed he was to have such a freak of a son. He started drinking and he started…he started beating my mom and me. When I was younger, I only had the occasional burst of strength and once, just once, I hit him back and knocked him out. After that, he made sure he had me secured so that I couldn’t fight back. My mom stopped caring; she didn’t even try to protect me.”
“Your mom didn’t try and get you guys away or anything?” Don asked. He couldn’t believe that a mother could just let something like that happen to her child.
“S-she had a breakdown after Mark’s death. Her mind just kind of…snapped. She couldn’t take care of herself let alone me,” Ray said. “My friends found out that my mom was mentally ill and spread it all around the school.”
Don felt a spike of anger on Ray’s behalf. “What assholes.”
“Yeah,” Ray said. “I never tried to make friends again after that. It was safer for me to just keep everyone at arms’ length and have sharp edges that made people stay away.”
“After what you went through, I do not blame you,” Don said. “Luckily, I have a thick skin.”
Ray looked up and smiled slightly. “Yeah, how you put up with me I will never know.”
“Well, after the first nightmare and listening to you begging for mercy, I kind of re-evaluated my original opinion of you,” Don admitted.
“I am kind of glad you did,” Ray said.
“Me too.”
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Don/Ray
Summary: Ray’s tangle with Ian has more than just physical consequences
AN: As always thanks to crashdownpixie for being an amazing beta!
Vicious Cycle:
The Only Deal You’ll Find, I’ll Gladly Take Your Soul
Another Night (Wishing I Wasn’t Here
Line In The Sand
Hit the Floor
Don was always awake as soon as one of Ray’s nightmares started. It had been a surprise when they first became roommates. They hadn’t been friends at first, because Ray had been standoffish and rude. They’d almost gotten into a fistfight, because Don had never backed down when someone pushed his buttons. It had turned out that they had that in common.
The first night when Don had woken up to Ray’s calls for help and for mercy, Don had felt his opinion of his roommate shift. He’d respectfully pretended to be asleep when Ray had come awake with a cry and had done so ever since.
It was hard sometimes; for all that they picked on one another they really were friends and he had come to hate the pain he heard Ray suffer every night. He was so attuned to Ray that the first murmur of distress from the bed next to his had him alert. Sometimes he had to fight the urge to comfort his friend because he knew it would be unwelcome.
One of their many roommates, a boy named Dexter, had made the mistake of poking fun at Ray for it. Dexter had been “accidentally” pushed down a flight of stairs later that day. The fall had broken his arm and though Dexter had tried to say that Don had pushed him there was no proof. Dexter had been transferred to a different room after that.
Ray didn’t need protecting, Don knew that. He also knew about what Ray had gone through the first half of their freshmen year before Gunnar had disappeared. Don had laughed when he had found out about the boy taped to the flagpole. He had witnessed one of the epic beat downs that always seemed to end with Ray bleeding on the floor and only Gunnar’s goon friends as witnesses.
Don wished that he had put a stop to it then, but it was more likely that if he’d stepped in he would’ve gotten a beating too. He wasn’t strong like Ray nor did he have preflex like Gunnar.
Don had thought Ray’s nightmares were about that until he had heard “dad, don’t” one night, in the midst of Ray thrashing about. It didn’t take a genius to figure it out. It was no wonder that Ray was actually happy to stay at Tower Prep and never questioned the purpose of it.
Lately, Ray’s nightmares had gotten better. He’d been having fewer of them and the ones he did have had stopped escalating to anything more than a few whimpers. It still made something in Don’s heart twist, but it was more bearable than what they’d been.
That was, until Ray came back to their dorm with bloody knuckles and an obviously battered body. He tried to play it off as just a small confrontation with Archer, but Don could tell he was really hurting, especially when all Ray did was strip down to his undershirt and boxers and crawl into bed.
When Don turned in for bed he knew he wasn’t going to sleep for long. He was proven right, when some time later, he heard a soft whimper from Ray’s bed. There was the soft sound of sheets shifting and another fearful whimper that tore at Don’s heart. He wanted so badly shake Ray awake and tell him he was safe and that his father wasn’t going to hurt him again.
Instead, he just listened as it got worse. The whimpers escalated into soft cries and Ray started thrashing. Usually that was when Ray woke up, gasping for breath and crying; that didn’t happen. His cries turned into screams and his thrashing got frantic.
For the first time ever, Don decided to intervene. He threw his covers back and scooted out of his bed. When he got a good look at Ray, he realized what must have amplified his nightmare. Ray was completely tangled up in his sheets, hopelessly so.
Don reached down and grasped Ray’s shoulder. He half-expected Ray to come awake with a shout, maybe try and take a swing at him, but instead the other boy cowered. It was so completely opposite of everything Ray was that Don was thrown for a loop.
“Ray,” Don called softly.
“No, please don’t,” Ray cried, body shaking.
It made Don sick to think he was making Ray’s nightmare worse. He shook Ray’s shoulder roughly to try and break Ray out of the dark place. Ray came awake violently, twisting away from what he must have perceived as a threat. Don tried to make a grab for his friend, but in Ray’s desperate bid to get away he tumbled over the other side of the bed. The crash that followed made Don wince.
Don crawled across the bed and looked down to see Ray curled up and shivering, still tangled in the sheets. Ray’s eyes were closed, but Don knew he was awake. His erratic breathing worried Don a little.
“Ray?” Don said softly.
Ray seemed to try and curl up further in on himself. “Go ‘way.”
“Come on, man, let me help you,” Don said.
“Leave me the fuck alone,” Ray snarled and began struggling to free himself of the sheets.
When he could not immediately free himself, Ray began to panic. Despite Ray’s demands, Don got down on the floor and began pulling and untangling the sheets. When Ray’s upper body was free, he shoved Don away and finished the rest himself.
“Don’t touch me,” Ray warned, though Don could see through the act. It was like a bird puffing up its feathers to look more threatening.
“Alright man, alright,” Don said and slowly got to his feet.
Don expected Ray to get up, but the other boy just leaned against his nightstand with his knees pulled up to his chest and buried his face in his arms. He had seen Ray lose a fight, but even then Don had never seen Ray look so vulnerable. He didn’t know what to do about it.
“Stop staring at me,” Ray said, lifting his head to glare at Don. The effect was ruined by the tears in his eyes.
“Dude-.”
“Just go back to bed already. You don’t have to pretend to care,” Ray said and buried his head again. “if you laugh I’ll kick your ass.”
“I’m not gonna laugh, dude,” Don said. “Calm down before you give yourself a heart attack.”
“Leave me the fuck alone already,” Ray snarled. “I’m not going to have a heart-to-heart with you and tell you my dirty little secrets just so you can use them against me.”
Don blinked and frowned. “I wouldn’t use them against you.”
“You say that, but everyone is the same,” Ray said, looking up again. “Show any weakness and they will go for the throat. I’ve seen you do it.”
“Yeah, against people who aren’t my friends,” Don replied.
“That’s what they all say.”
Don huffed out a breath and crossed his arms. “I’m not going to stand here and beg you to talk to me, man. If you want to keep crying yourself to sleep you just go right ahead.”
“I don’t cry myself to sleep,” Ray said defensively.
Don uncrossed his arms and Ray flinched violently. “Fine, wake up crying, whatever.”
“If you say one word about this to anyone else--.”
“Dude, why the hell would I do that?”
“-I’ll make sure you regret it.”
Don rolled his eyes. It was kind of funny coming from a person huddled in on himself looking more like a scared kid than the bad ass he tried was trying to be.
“I’ve heard you crying out to your dad to stop for the past year and I haven’t said anything to anyone,” Don said.
Ray paled and Don could see him swallow hard. “You what?”
“I’ve been awake for every nightmare, Ray. I pushed Dexter down the stairs because I heard him taunt you about it,” Don revealed.
“You did?” Ray asked, clearly surprised.
“Yeah man, no asshole is going to use something like that against one of my friends,” Don said, smiling slightly.
“I, um, I don’t really know how to be someone’s friend,” Ray said softly. “I’ve never really had friends before. I didn’t even know we were friends.”
“What do you call sitting together at lunch? Or torturing the new kids together? Or any of the other various activities we’ve done together for the past year?”
Ray shrugged. “Being roommates?”
Don should’ve probably felt hurt by the fact that Ray didn’t realize they were friends, but he didn’t. Instead he felt his heart twist for the image Ray’s words painted in his mind. Someone who had never had a friend couldn’t recognize friendship.
“Aren’t you friends with your Rook pals?” Don asked curiously.
Ray frowned. “They’re my Brothers, but we aren’t all friends.”
The way Ray said it led Don to believe there was more to that story, but he didn’t question it. He felt it was probably more important to address the actual issue at hand-their friendship.
“What would you do if you saw Archer pushing me around?” Don asked.
Ray’s eyes flashed with anger. “I would kick his ass.”
“That’s what friends do for each other,” Don said. “I have your back and you have my back, always.”
The anger faded from Ray’s eyes and he looked thoughtful. Slowly, he uncurled his body and stood up. He plopped down on the bed and Don sat down on the end of the bed.
“What if you found out your friend is weak and pathetic?” Ray asked.
“I would say it’s not true,” Don said immediately. “You don’t have to tell me anything, Ray, I can already guess some of it, but if you need to talk about it you can.”
Ray was silent for a long time, staring down at the bed like it had all the answers. Don waited patiently even though they both should have gone back to bed already. They both had a class early in the morning and were going to be very tired. That became the last thing on Don’s mind when Ray started talking.
“I’ve always been a small kid, y’know? My older brother, Mark, was the jock, the popular kid-everything I wasn’t. Things were okay while he was around. My dad obviously favored him, but y’know, that was to be expected because he was perfect,” Ray paused and swallowed hard. “Then, one day we were playing out in the yard and I kicked the soccer ball too hard and it went into the street. Mark ran out to get it, but he didn’t look first and h-he was hit by a car going too fast. It killed him instantly.”
Don’s heart sank with each word, and when Ray had to stop to swallow his tears, Don felt his own eyes prickle. He stayed quiet while Ray took deep breaths to calm himself. Without thinking, Don reached out and put a hand on Ray’s knee. To his surprise, Ray didn’t pull away.
“After that, my dad didn’t even try to hide how much he hated me, how ashamed he was to have such a freak of a son. He started drinking and he started…he started beating my mom and me. When I was younger, I only had the occasional burst of strength and once, just once, I hit him back and knocked him out. After that, he made sure he had me secured so that I couldn’t fight back. My mom stopped caring; she didn’t even try to protect me.”
“Your mom didn’t try and get you guys away or anything?” Don asked. He couldn’t believe that a mother could just let something like that happen to her child.
“S-she had a breakdown after Mark’s death. Her mind just kind of…snapped. She couldn’t take care of herself let alone me,” Ray said. “My friends found out that my mom was mentally ill and spread it all around the school.”
Don felt a spike of anger on Ray’s behalf. “What assholes.”
“Yeah,” Ray said. “I never tried to make friends again after that. It was safer for me to just keep everyone at arms’ length and have sharp edges that made people stay away.”
“After what you went through, I do not blame you,” Don said. “Luckily, I have a thick skin.”
Ray looked up and smiled slightly. “Yeah, how you put up with me I will never know.”
“Well, after the first nightmare and listening to you begging for mercy, I kind of re-evaluated my original opinion of you,” Don admitted.
“I am kind of glad you did,” Ray said.
“Me too.”