It's fine ( Read more... )

great english student i'm not ( Read more... )

writing was introspection-meditation, to close eyes and have an idea
until it shaped up into a feeling,
 then feeling to words,
and i'd write them down.

I don't bother editing anything anymore.

negativity
stems from:
fear of:
loss, inadequacy

losing because i'm inadequate

I AM ADEQUATE

after the movie I went down into the bathroom
into a stall
and shook my head so hard, just, over and over,
   until all some tears just poured out
 and then i shook more
like I do semi-involuntarily on the bus and places
    when bad stale thoughts get stuck in and
    need exorcising

(though on the bus I loose myself once
        or twice if it's heavy)

( Read more... )

sometimes there's no such thing as
yes or no
only
sooner or later
and you just
stop and go
why not now?

i forget

although there used to be really good reasons
against now

(i know)
(love)
(moons or sunstripes)
(guiltily-had emotions)

(pressurepressurepressure)

contract theory of how to get along
brings us to the way you size me up
brings us to here and there
(this and that)

most dumb and lick kisses, dark beat pressure changes
          heat

(ready, yea)

always want
alwa--
I want
alway-- yea, ya want
what you can't have

and you've said
I can hav'ye
an' I wann'ye not, coz'ye
always wann--
whtchye cann' have

get out of my head

loved into yr blue eyes
  , under glass sheets, by
an elevator with all the buttons pushd.

my home away
from home,
      either a stretch under a bridge
or strong arms & blonde hawk -

you should stop asking if im yrs, good
sir knight;

suspense kills me.

lonely love
spy eye glasses
  rough sex
                 ----WANTED----
  and oh I could take you
        red and red always
to you, your face, and my pink'd cheeks
my bare chest    against
    yours.

you, and you and me
               and red, and red and me
        once until twice
               sketch and bite
leave me marks ---------
        oh my ( Read more... )

I will miss you if you are to go away ( Read more... )