i accidentally had this revelation on the bus ride up that i shouldn't be wasting my college education on engineering if it does not bring me any joy whatsoever. if it is something i definitely do NOT want to do with my life ( Read more... )

i am home. beautiful new jersey home. there is something so euphoric about it. i especially loved driving through point pleasant last night. other than jenkinsons, there was not much going on. it becomes a ghost town of sorts. i've always kind of enjoyed that. the way things look in the off-season. it just seemed particularly moving last night. i ( Read more... )

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I closed the door today. It was hard. It was harder because you said you understood. Though I knew I was breaking your heart ( Read more... )

I realized something while walking around today. I narrate my life as if it were on the pages of a never ending novel. I can't help the fact that I do this; it's just how my thought process is. In other words, instead of forming thoughts like other people, mine are as if they were told by a first person narrator. Some of the lines [or in my case, ( Read more... )

i search the day i was born often in search engines. i search the word adoption, my birth date, and the hospital i was born in. i sometimes hold out hope that my birthmother may have posted something somewhere that says she wants to find me. unfortunately, this never happens. and afterward, i just feel empty. some part of me truly feels that i have ( Read more... )

i don't think there is much of anything i can say about my life more than what i wrote to my mother in a 4 page e-mail today about everything going on. it came after reading the fourth jessica darling book, fourth comings. there is supposedly a fifth book that could tie everything up and make it a happy ending after all, but in this book [[spoiler ( Read more... )

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