My Fanfic - Viewfinder

[toyakoya]

Hong Kong is very similar to Tokyo. Sometimes, when he’s standing in the heart of Shinjuku, he would look up and the skyscrapers, neon lights, and oversized billboards would blur together. The push-and-shove of people, milling and aimless, focused and hurried, moved around him and bumped past him; he felt like a tiny,

Comments

[shi_koi]

Wow. That felt really heavy and tense. The way you built things up to the end of the evening was really really good. =^__^= It's great to see another take on things.

[toyakoya]

Thank you for the comment =)
I'm glad that you noticed the atmosphere I was trying to build. ^0^
*squees in happiness*

Great story!

[ray_archangel]

A very well-written story, thank you for writing it! Can't believe it's your first sex scene :)
I usually don't like dark Asami-Akihito stories (yaoi for me is an escape from the sad realities of life) but this one was very enjoyable.
Please write more!
Ray

Re: Great story!

[toyakoya]

Thanks for the comment :)

Yes, I've written some fanfiction in the past but I never quite mustered up the courage to actually write one, haha.

I'm glad you enjoyed it! I do enjoy the fandom so I'll probably continue to write for it ^^;;

[radcat38]

Good dark look at the aftermath of Hong Kong on both our boys especially Akihito. You wrote it well and went after a realistic post trauma theme. Well done. Sad but true and interesting. (I could not stop reading...you just drew me in.) Until Akihito gets some kind of help he is going to be in a downward spiral. I think Asami knows that something is wrong but not to what extent. After they came back he knew there would be problems but I think he is just starting to realize that the damage is worse than he thought. It was interesting to see Asami almost vulnerable at the end. Through the story you could see Asami caring in his fashion and assuming that his actions are the right ones that are needed by Akihito. But the danger of assumption is that many times we are wrong and in this case Asami is not actually helping Akihito. I think he is starting to realize that but what will he do with this information...anyone's guess. I liked your take on the aftermath...not too many writers have taken this path. Would love to see more of your work

[toyakoya]

Thanks for the comment! =)

MMm, I like your analysis of their relationship; it's similar to what I had in mind when I wrote this story =P

I think I'll continue to write in this fandom though my updates may be a little so, hahaha ^^;;

Thanks for reading :)

[toyakoya]

that should be "a little slow" *dead*

[gen50]

very difficult for asami, isnt it
but aki's trauma can be solved only by aki
though asami tries

[toyakoya]

Thanks for the comment =)

Yes, well, Asami does try something... >_>;;

Well written, very enjoyable

[shteffi1]

Excellent fanfic. I liked how you took us through Akihito's thoughts and the way you built up the tension through the evening. The subject you are tackling is also at the top of my "wander list". I cant wait to see how their relationship is going to progress and all we can do is indulge in fanfics till then to answer the question.
You take a sharper angle in your prediction of how things progress. I agree that Akihito needs to "deal" with the events and its not going to be as easy as he would have liked it to be. I am enjoying your point of view and I hope you write more and take us through more evenings between the two.

Thanks for sharing this fanfic. You write very well. The flow of the story is smooth and its easy to transport into the time and place of the story.

Re: Well written, very enjoyable

[toyakoya]

Thank you for the comment. =)

Yes, I also can't wait until I see what their canon relationship will be like (I have a feeling it may be a bit campy? =P) but thought that in the mean time... haha.

I'm happy to hear that you thought the flow and the transitions were okay; I ended up writing this after a day of no-sleep so I was a little worried when I woke up, lol.

Thanks again!