My Fanfic - Viewfinder

[toyakoya]

Hong Kong is very similar to Tokyo. Sometimes, when he’s standing in the heart of Shinjuku, he would look up and the skyscrapers, neon lights, and oversized billboards would blur together. The push-and-shove of people, milling and aimless, focused and hurried, moved around him and bumped past him; he felt like a tiny,

Comments

[amaniblue]

Great job! May we fans have some more? ^___^

The characterization is spot on Takaba's POV. I would like to read Asami's POV though on this one. You did such a good job describing the scene and action. I can picture Takaba's skittish actions and guilt ridden passion mixed with the traumatic fear he developed. He's falling deeper into the darkness with his light drowning out. I hope you write a continuation because the ending was bittersweet. Asami's "stay with me" was sweet.

And your sex-scene was steamy! So good job!

[toyakoya]

Thanks for the comment! ^_^;;

Ah yes, I was waiting for someone to touch on all the water-imagery I inserted into this fic. The alternative title that I was weighing was "Drowning" but I decided that it was too obvious that way, haha.

Continuation...? Well, I don't know at this time. I have several other story ideas (all Viewfinder =P) that I'm thinking of working on.

[covalski]

You used interesting manner showing Aki's inner thoughts and whishes, him making escapes in his mind imagining wishful scenarios of things. The only problem - why it has to be soo sad((??? Why won't he tell Asami?? Why is he holding it??
It was very good and mature and it makes good piece by itself, but it also can be a good start and teaser to unfolding story of them repairing things, and revealing they thoughts, cos it will be a waste to drop those serious things you touched, especially with your abilities to observe and describe subtle and unobvious feelings and emotions, ne *)

[toyakoya]

Thanks for the comment! ^^;;

Oh, I'm glad that it was apparent that he was indulging in wishful thinking -- I tried to make it more obvious with the formatting and by switching the tense.

Thank you for the compliments *blushes* I don't know if I'll continue this in the future but I do know that I'll be writing other Viewfinder fics.

[runa93]

Wow. Its been along time since I read something which made me so happy. I'd love to see a continuation. May I?
*grin*

[toyakoya]

Hahaha ^_^; Thanks for the comment! I'm glad it made you happy, lol.
We'll see about the continuation though.. I originally intended for this to be a stand-alone, but I suppose it's not outside of the realm of possibility? Haha, I'll probably write other Viewfinder fics first though.

[abydos_star]

very well done:) you did a great job!

[toyakoya]

Thank you! =D

[starawings]

aw... my poor sweet aki... mummy will make everything better! *cuddles Aki* My baby...

[toyakoya]

LOL! Aww, he does look like he needs a cuddle, right? ^^:: Thanks for reading!