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Body Dysmorphia
When I first started my job at St Gabriels years ago I was in such a deep depression that I mostly stopped eating. I think I ended up losing about 60 pounds in two months if I remember correctly. That end moment, I feel like I was so twisted by what people were saying to me. My doctor was so happy that I lost so much weight. My friend took a ( Read more... ) -
Music of my mind
I look through my listen of music and it is almost comical how closely it aligns with my mood. I feel like any stranger could look at my list and guess what exactly is happening at my life in that time. I'm not mad at it, its just funny. I kinda wonder if other peoples lists are like that. Currently most of my music is kinda...sad boy. But for ( Read more... ) -
Help myself
As I am going through this section of my life I know the biggest problem I have at the moment is a feeling of inadequacy. But I feel like my vision is clouded by the achievements of other people. I can't really see the finish line to when I will feel good enough to exist. At the moment I'm doing my best to take one day at a time. But it makes ( Read more... ) -
Broken Pieces
I still struggle finding the myself anything other than a broken person. I'm doing my best to put pieces where they go but I don't know. At some point its just too broken to put together again. I feel like one day it will get better at least. You know where I go to my therapist I talk a lot about the things I don't like about myself. But I was ( Read more... ) -
The far off blue sky.
So here I sit two weeks later. I still don't know how I feel. I still think back on things that I have done in my life that now seem to make a bit more sense. I do still feel broken and unlovable. People in my life have assured me that it isn't true. And I am sure it is partly being dramatic. But its just how my insides feel at the moment.
I ( Read more... ) -
And the world falls down.
I often come on reddit just to talk about comics or science. But today I happen upon a post in the subreddit about asexuality. I am not naïve, I have heard of the whole spectrum before. I myself am gay, and have always identified as such for the most part. But in the post someone suggested a podcast Allo and Ace. And mama loves a podcast so I ( Read more... ) -
Back again,
Here it goes. I come back to livejournal, however briefly, to let it out. I feel like if I constantly vent to random reddit threads or forums I will just annoy people. But I have so many feelings that I just have to say. I quietly hope none of my friends or people I know will ever read this.
I'm restarting this because of a recent revelation ( Read more... ) -
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So earlier my phone just randomly lost all its contacts. And today t-mobile sent a text saying they wouldn't be able to restore the contacts. So everyone feel free to email or text me your number so I can put it back in my phone. -
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Ahh, so today was the first day of my new job ( Read more... ) -
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I screamed in the bookstore like a seven year old cheerleader. But the next book in a series I have come to like came out and I didn't even know it! For shame ( Read more... )