I am so very annoyed right now.  So I flew in one of my best friends and her kids a couple weeks ago so she could visit her family and friends here, she hasn't been back in Illinois for five years.  We've been spending a lot of time together which is great and sucks all at the same time because when they leave it'll be pretty boring here.  But this ( Read more... )

I think I'm just in a pool of self wallow right now, I really just don't know.  For some reason the stupidest stuff is hitting me hard.  Seeing cars stop to let geese cross the road brought tears to my eyes.  I'm ridiculous.  And then today I just keep thinking about how quite a few years ago I was driving downtown and their were these ducklings ( Read more... )

Do you ever feel alone?  That you will be this way for the rest of your life and there is nothing you can do about it.  I hate it, I hate feeling this way.  Sometimes I feel like I lost my only shot at happiness seven years ago.  And everything since then has just been to fill voids.  I don't work weekends, so I'm free to hang out with people, want ( Read more... )

 So I've been back in Illinois for about a month now.  Living at home with my parents again, oh joy.  I'm trying to keep busy and clean up the place but I swear it's never ending.  The laundry just keeps coming, I don't even know from where but it's non stop.  I'm trying to set up my room, clear out my old room, and have a usable kitchen, but I ( Read more... )

and I can't sleep right now, so that is leading me to mindless rambling in here.  I have a job interview tomorrow and I have basically figured out how much I need to make to support myself  but I don't think I will be offered that if I am offered the job.  Which means I will be moving back in with my father some time in July if I don't get a job by ( Read more... )

All right, I just watched Agora, which is a beautifully made movie and I highly recommend it.  But it infuriated me.  Seriously though, it is a wonderful movie, I am going to go buy it.  It's about the burning of Alexandria and the religion upheavals, hence my title and you can now guess what infuriated me.  So now for a vent ( Read more... )

I swear I need to leave for vacation now, not a week from now but right now.  I can't stand my roommate anymore.  I ask her to get a bag of ice on the way home and she tells me to kiss her ass and stop eating ice like it's crack.  Okay I always buy the fucking ice so it doesn't matter if I use it a lot or not.  It's not even like it's out of her ( Read more... )

I have so much I want to say and at the same time find it all so hard to start. I feel like I have so much to say and yet so little.  So we'll just start from where I left off before.  The last time I wrote I was tired and cold and saying I was getting the chills, yeah to say the least I was sick for two weeks straight it was to the point that if I ( Read more... )

You pick it, I'm it.  I really just don't understand people at all.  I honestly don't feel very good right now so I am going to be heading to bed shortly, but I just don't get people.  I just wish people would let me live my life the way I choose when I let them live theirs the way they want to.  I really don't think it's that difficult but it ( Read more... )

I know I haven't been on here in ages, but it's one of the plus sides to people just using other sites now, chances are no one will really see this so it works for me.  Eventually I will do an actual update to catch up all of you who still use and read this but for now I just want to rant a little ( Read more... )