Lambda Legal always recommends getting a free consultation BEFORE you incur the status that might lead to needing to hire a lawyer -- I did, in regards to my namechange and my impending child's birth certificate (I'm a still-legally-female FTM), and I'm very glad I did.
yes, totally - Contact the National Center for Lesbian Rights pronto. They do a lot of trans law as well as queer family law and I believe they have sample contracts that would help protect your rights, most importantly they have state-by-state info - This stuff varies wildly depending on where you live. Or Lambda Legal might also be able to help. Don't use an online sample unless you also check with a legal org to make sure it covers your bases. They are not binding but they are a good idea to have, in as clear a language as possible.
Make sure you read it, and change what doesn't fit for your situation, etc.
You will hear that donor contracts are non-binding and non-enforceable but the reality is that the US legal system works by precedent, and donor contracts have not been tested in a court. Either way, it's a smart thing to do, as it shows your intentions and gives you a moment for you all to talk about your expectations.
Depending on the laws where you live, once the baby is born, the donor may or may not have to sign paperwork so that your partner can do a second parent adoption and/or have "presumed parenthood." So, get some legal advice there.
I would not place stock in a donor contract - frankly, when supercute new baby shows up, you don't know how the donor will react, and if they decide they want it, a home insemination with a donor contract will in no way overrule his parental rights. I'm a lawyer (NOT practicing in OR so I am not giving you advice, just info and my experience) and I terminate the parental rights of abusive parents as part of my job. It is actually really hard to do even if there have been years of abuse, neglect or abandonment. Courts take them as a fundamental constitutional right. A donor contract isn't going to protect you at all. This is why I had planned to do a sperm bank (until I met my boyfriend who is apparently Captain Fertility) so I didn't run the risk - the few people I have known who did known donor had a serious scare holding their breath waiting after the birth for the donor to agree to give up his parental rights, and in most all states this can not be done until AFTER the birth. And courts are weird. You do'nt know who the judge would
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At least a few other states besides CA have a similar law with regards to if the known donor donates the sperm and the woman inseminates IN a doctor's office, his parental rights are terminated. This could be a good option to look into for people who are set on using a known donor.
We found it cheaper to go the anonymous donor route. We used NW andrology and they don't require a doctor at all so it was inexpensive and private compared to legal fees. The whole process cost us less than $600.
Agreed with all of the above - contact a lawyer and also any queer parents in your state as they will have alraedy been there/done that and will have a lot of the research already done
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If you google, you will find samples online.
Make sure you read it, and change what doesn't fit for your situation, etc.
You will hear that donor contracts are non-binding and non-enforceable but the reality is that the US legal system works by precedent, and donor contracts have not been tested in a court. Either way, it's a smart thing to do, as it shows your intentions and gives you a moment for you all to talk about your expectations.
Depending on the laws where you live, once the baby is born, the donor may or may not have to sign paperwork so that your partner can do a second parent adoption and/or have "presumed parenthood." So, get some legal advice there.
Good luck!
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