He's not even trying

[trevd]

How do I help someone who's completely unwilling to help himself? For about a week-and-a-half, my friend has been incapacitated by stress and depression, crying at work, crying on the streets, crying to me. He needs to be around me every single day, he calls me several times a day, and he's even threatened suicide a few times. I left work early on

Comments

[mt_yvr]

(hug) This is one of those moments darlin where you're finding yourself trying to do the right thing, but in the process of doing the right thing with some one who is incapable of doing it themselves, you're being backed into corners of behaviour you're not happy with. You want to help, but you seem increasingly forced to take an authoritarian role in this friend's life... a spot you don't want. And a tone that isn't natural to you, the kind of annoyed "this is your problem, you know the solution, suck it up and do it" tone is not one you're comfortable voicing

[xzaxza]

I once had a friend who fell to the floor clutching his chest in pain and couldn't get up. He didn't want to go to the doctor so I drove over to his house, picked him up, took him to the doctor, and missed work in the process. I got in trouble. An older, wiser friend of mine advised me that sometimes all we can do is help by giving the right information - in your case, "Maybe you should go to therapy, here's the number" - and then let it go. It is up to the individual to do it on their own. It's hard because you want to help but you can't run other people's lives, you just can't. Sometimes the person you try to help will still make bad decisions, maybe even life threatening ones, but it is still not your life. Good luck.

[netphenix]

If he threatened suicide a few times already, but never even once ACTUALLY followed on those threats, then it's not a suicide wish, it's a plea for attention. He's depressed, down, feeling like shit, and he wants to be taken care of, obviously - and in you he gets all that. No wonder he won't try to find a cure