i have never felt this alone. i cant stand it. i dont even know any more.

im done trying to find a girl, let them find me. i have been rejected way too many times in the past month or two... haha im worthless. it really is easier to just fuck a girl then to try to get to know them and then eventually date them. i also fucked my car up on a curve so now i dont have anything to drive or any money to fix it... i love life ( Read more... )

see this is my luck.. i find someone i actually like.... she so nice to me... we talk and like the same things. she is beautiful.... but now she says she doesn't want a bf... so im back to all the bull shit..... im back to hell.. and not because she doesn't want me... its just how things always play out like this for me.

i give up

i don't know how to feel anymore. even if i did find someone i don't even have the will power to peruse. i have just been so drained and so rejected im either to worn out or afraid to say anything. i just want what i had. as much as i like finding new friends, its just not as satisfying. i need someone one to make me whole again. fill the gaps that ( Read more... )

so tonight was amazing but god has a funny way of making great things turn into disasters for me.

well i guess its been like two weeks since we actually talked, and by the look of it i guess im would be lying to myself if i said she might actually want to again. im sure she is happy fucking other guys and completely ignoring the one person that truly cared unconditionally. ugh. out of all the lies she told me i hope she just means what she said ( Read more... )

ugh i hate this being alone shit. I'm drinking too much still and being to careless about things i should care about. I've pretty much just given up on everything. i need someone to make me care again. why do i have such bad luck with girls haha.

ugh i miss her..... but today was a pretty good day. i made good tips..... i got a 100 on a very hard final i thought would fail... i saw some good friends at the pearl... still a lonely night but the day was a pretty good. but still. idk.

i miss high school. i miss all the bwick days and hardcore bands and friends. i miss parties with quinton and all the random people i use to meet, i miss wanting to do something every night and not just go to sleep miserable. i miss my life. i miss being happy. i miss her. hell i miss a lot of hers. but most of all i miss just having someone to ( Read more... )