When Love Is Not Enough, Chapter 4
Title: When Love Is Not Enough
Author: trieze0713
Pairing: Yunho/Jaejoong
Length: Chaptered
Genres: AU, Drama, Angst, Romance
Warnings: Foul languages, child abuse
Rating: PG 13 - NC 17
A/N: Hello... I've decided to changed a little of the writing style to avoid so many confusion. I realized that this is much different than my previous writing style, but I'm kind of challenged to do it anyway. So I've added the characters' age and a tittle to each part where necessary to give you an idea of the timeline and focus in the story. Thanks for reading... if you're still reading of course :)
Chapter 4
Yunho - age 16, Jaejoong - age 19, Changmin - age 12, Junsu - age 12, New Beginning
It was their first sleepover since the Kims returned to town 2 months ago, Jaejoong’s mother’s idea. To have the boys all gathered in one place at the Jung’s, reminiscing old times she said.
Yunho was happy to see Jaejoong again and tried his best to accommodate him and little Junsu. But somehow there’s an air of awkwardness between them.
Jaejoong kept silent, Junsu kept trying to talk to Changmin and Changmin did his best to ignore the 2 guests. And Yunho just wanted to spend some time, maybe some talk with the oldest boy.
“Come on Min, let Junsu plays the game too. Junsu, you want to play with Changmin, right?” He smiled at the boy who eagerly nodded his head.
“Changmin, let me play too… I don’t have this at home.” Junsu quietly plead to him.
Yunho pinched his brother’s cheek, “Min, play together with Junsu! You always complained that I didn’t spend enough time on the game with you, now at least you have someone who’s willing to play as much as you want until tomorrow. Be nice!”
His brother scowled, “I wanted to play with you, not someone else!”
“Junsu is not someone else, I’ve known him since he was little and you’re also the same age though he’s a year ahead of you in school.”
Changmin didn’t go to school for a year after the incident, and he returned to class after his adoption. That made him to repeat a year and he became the oldest in his class, something that he resented so much. It also prevented him from mingling with the other kids.
The teachers tried hard to make him comfortable but it’s obvious that he put up a barrier between himself and the rest of classmates and teachers. So far it wasn’t much of a problem, his mother still encouraged him to get involved in every school program and Yunho had been a darling brother for him as well.
He went with him on his first school day, helped him with his study after school, and played with him all the time. Which seemed to be the only time when Changmin felt at ease and smiled a lot.
His brother sighed and silently threw another joystick for the console. Yunho beamed, it meant that Junsu could play. So he gestured the other boy to come closer and gave him the joystick. Junsu accepted it and sat beside Changmin.
“So what do you want to play?” Changmin asked without looking at him.
10 minutes later, they were both shooting each other’s plane on the screen. Yunho smiled in relief and sat himself next to Jaejoong who was staring at the boys without any expression.
“So how have you been Hyung?” No answer.
“How did you feel about coming back to live here again?”Still no answer. “Um, I’m sorry if I talk too much, I just missed you-“
“Nothing special.” Jaejoong cut off his speech. “There was nothing for me there, and still is nothing for me here. It’s Mom who wanted to return.”
“Oh- but I heard that you agreed with he-“
“I never said no to her, but that didn’t mean that I liked it!” His tone was a bit harsh and he saw Changmin turned his head to them and frowned. Changmin hates that kind of tone. Maybe kind of reminded him of Uncle Kyung Min.
Yunho smiled at the boy to put him at ease. He still frowned but he returned to his game cause that few seconds made him lost his best plane to Junsu’s shot. Yunho turned to look at Jaejoong and smiled awkwardly, “Sorry, Changmin is little sensitive to- noise and… well, anyway… I’m sorry if I made you angry, I was just-“
“Why do keep saying you’re sorry?? You haven’t done anything wrong and I think I shouldn’t be spending the night here, I’m going!” He stood up abruptly and Yunho quickly pulled him back on the chair. The sudden gesture made Jaejoong flinched as he looked at him with wide eyes.
“I- I- I want you to stay! Please… we haven’t seen each other for a few years and I-“ He was lost for words all of a sudden. The look in Jaejoong’s eyes was different, he could see the old Jaejoong in there for a second and he was lost in it.
For whatever reason, Jaejoong looked at him in the eyes and told him softly, “I just need some fresh air. I need to go the balcony.”
Yunho nodded and stubbornly followed the other teen to the balcony though he was sure that Jaejoong wanted to be alone. He just couldn’t leave him alone, not with that look in his eyes.
They were standing side by side, another silence stretched and Yunho just didn’t have the courage to start speaking. Afraid that whatever comes out of his mouth would ruin the mood and he knew that Jaejoong would be gone by then for sure.
So he was surprised it was Jaejoong who started the conversation. “You’re doing good at school?”
Not the question that he’s expecting, but at least he’s talking to him. “Yeah, I like school, I study hard to get into SNU. I still have another 2 years but I really want a scholarship, so yeah… I’m trying to maintain my grades.”
“Good for you.” Jaejoong told him with a slight smile, still not looking at him.
“How about you Hyung? Aunt In Young said that you finished high school already but you’re not registering to any college. What you’re going do?” He began to feel at ease to ask more questions.
“I hate school… I hate my friends and my teachers. There’s nothing good for me in school.” He answered with a dose of bitterness.
“So you want to work?”
“I don’t know. I got an offer to do modeling though, I might try…”
“Modeling?” Yunho asked in disbelief. Jaejoong is indeed good looking, but he’s never one who enjoyed being in front of a camera, not even for a school picture. “Are- are you sure that you like it?”
“Why not?” He turned to look at him and sneered, “Don’t you think that it suits me? I’m beautiful, that’s what my step father used to say… that I’m more beautiful than Mom. And that’s also what the town’s people told me when they found out about my past. I’m beautiful that it’s such a sin.” The last part was spoken in a hush that Yunho almost didn’t hear it.
“Town’s people? Where you were staying before?”
Suddenly Jaejoong turned to face him and brought his face closer, “Don’t you think that I’m beautiful too, Yunho-yah?”
Yunho was stunned, not used to the way the teen spoke to him and the way his lips turned up into a smirk. And he unconsciously stepped back, “I won’t… say that you’re beautiful, but you’re always the best looking person I’ve ever met.”
Jaejoong kept staring into in his eyes and took another step forward, “Really? I’m flattered, that you don’t see me as beautiful but the best looking person for you. Do you think it’s a sin that that I’m this good looking, Yunho?” Their faces were only an inch away, Yunho could feel his breath on his nose. “Don’t you want to kiss me? Don’t you feel like doing anything to me while looking at my face so close to you, Yunho-yah…”
Yunho jumped back further and pushed him away, “What’s wrong with you, Hyung… I-“
“You know that you’re really something, Yunho. You’re the first person that pushed me away while most people would try to kiss me even when I felt disgusted with them.” And the smile was gone from his face, replaced by a menace that Yunho never saw from him.
“You know… my step father said that my beauty was a sin ‘cause it was like the forbidden fruit… So beautiful, so tempting, yet he wasn’t supposed to touch me because he was married to my mother. And yet… he surrendered to the temptation and tainted himself with the unforgivable sin!” There was a dangerous glint in his eyes as he spoke more.
“My mother couldn’t look me in the eye when she found out about what he had done… and she pretended that she never knew that guy and took me away from this place, away to a new place where no one would know about my sin.”
“Hyung, it wasn’t your fault! It wasn-“
“Yes, it was my fault!!” He hissed, “I could’ve stopped him, reported him to the police! Yet I didn’t because I didn’t want to hurt my mother’s feeling! He said that he would touch Junsu if I didn’t do as he said… it was just that one time! I told him it would be just once!!” He yelled at his face, “But that one time destroyed my family… I should’ve just died but instead-“ his breath hitched, “Instead, everytime I looked into the mirror I had to see the source of my unhappiness, my mother’s unhappiness and a broken promise that I shamelessly tried to forget! Do you still wanted me like you used to want me, Yunho?? You won’t be my first anymore, and you don’t even want to count what number you’re going to have by the time we’re through!!”
The revelation was too much for his tender heart to accept and he fell on his bottom with a thud, Jaejoong stood in front him with such a rage but an empty stare.
His parents must’ve heard his yell cause then they showed up at the balcony with a surprised expression. But his mother quickly recovered and spoke gently to him.
“Jaejoong… let’s come inside, it’s very cold out here… You should get ready for bed.”
Jaejoong didn’t move a bit, but the rage was gone from him instantly though his fists were balled at his sides. Yunho’s mother slowly held his hands and squeezed, trying to make him ease up a bit. Surprisingly, he looked up at her and let her lead the way to the bedroom.
Yunho was still sitting on the cold balcony floor when his father pulled him up. “Are you fine?”
He nodded, “I’m fine… just-, Dad, Jae-hyung, he told me about what his- stepfather… he did-“ He was stuttering, definitely still in shock and his father patted his shoulder.
“We’ll talk when you feel better. Just remember that he’s not bad, he’s wounded… deeply.”
He swallowed a lump in his throat, “I know Dad, I just wish-“
“Now, come and get inside. You might want to stay in the living room and play some more with Min and Junsu, let your Mom handles Jaejoong.”
“Okay…” He walked back inside and was met with 2 pairs of curious eyes. He tried to smile. “Min, Su… why did you left your game? Come on, I think I have some time to play before I go to bed.”
Junsu didn’t say a thing but walked back in front of the TV. Changmin didn’t move. “Did he hurt you?”
He raised an eyebrow, “Who? Jae-hyung? No he didn’t… but I might’ve said something that upset him.” He chuckled nervously. Changmin’s serious expression always made him nervous.
“Okay…” And just like that walked to where Junsu was waiting, but not without saying, “I won’t let him hurt you.”
Yunho’s temple started to throb, his curiosity peaked with Jaejoong’s slipped of the tongue. But more than that, he’s hurt for him. He felt sick… and he knew that he hadn’t even heard half of what Jaejoong had really been through.
He just hoped that the older boy will stop condemned himself.
~o~o~
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