Everything Happens For a Reason, Chapter 11
~ Previous Chapters ~
Chapter 11: Realization
All his life Yunho had always been the center of attention. As the Jung’s firstborn, he was never lacked in anything material, even love from all around him. Guys wanted his look, girls wanted his heart. And he was lucky enough to have a set of parents who always supported whatever he wanted to do, including when he decided to pursue acting career right after he finished high school instead of preparing himself to be as the heir of Jung Corp. He had been modeling since he was in Junior High so the road to fame was smooth sailing.
With a small agency but a smart CEO, supported by the best manager in the business there was no stopping him. He thought the world was on his side, he got only the best. But that was until Kim Jaejoong became his manager.
Kim Jaejoong was a hardworker, it’s well known. Yunho was the 1st member of the agency that he was in charge with since his former had left the company to work for a more senior actor. The reasons Park Yoochun assigned Jaejoong to him were because Yunho was an easygoing person and didn’t mind to assist the new guy despite their actual positions. And soon after they had formed a perfect team.
Yunho didn’t deny that it was the other’s looks that first attracted him. Jeez, it would be sin not to get attracted to him in the first place. He always knew that girls didn’t attract him sexually, his flings would only got as far as some heavy petting or make-out session, but never real sex. And he’s too reluctant to find out about gay sex from a one night stand. No matter how carefree he might look like, sappy as it may sound, he believed in love. Not that many know that though… except for his little sister who kept telling him, “Oppa, you’re choosing the wrong career if you’re looking for true love. Get real and get a life!” And she was just a middle schooler!
Kim Jaejoong didn’t speak much, he just did his job devotedly as if there’s nothing else that he should be interested in but Yunho’s schedule, Yunho’s health, new opportunities for Yunho, practically all about Yunho. Nevertheless he noticed that whenever he was around his family, he would act a little bit out of place, like he didn’t belong, yet he had this longing in his eyes when JiHye would hugged him when she returned from school and found him at the house. He would look away when Yunho’s parents fussed around him to spend more time with them on his break. And yet Yunho was never able to make him tell his story.
Everything changed one night. Yunho was supposed to shoot some scenes at the foot of a mountain when suddenly the weather change drastically. The crew had to rush to pack their expensive devices while the actors were advised to leave soonest to the nearest town where the crews would join them. In the chaos, Yunho got onto the wrong van of another actor who left in hurry and checked-in into a small motel an hour later with another twenty something people from the production team. He tried to contact Jaejoong in vain, seemed like the mobile connection was broken. He thought Jaejoong would’ve taken the initiative to check the others since everyone practically separated into two motels, 50 meters from one another.
So when morning came and the weather was back to its calm and shiny self, he was a bit panicked cause after checking around including making some phone calls to the other motel; no one actually had seen his manager since they left the location. He called the agency, but Jaejoong hadn’t called either. He didn’t waste any time and asked the help of some crews to return to the location to look for him.
Yunho found his van parked at its original place. When he peered inside the tinted glass he saw Jaejoong sleeping in the middle seat. He pounded on the window asking him to open the door from inside but he didn’t seem to hear. A police car happened to pass by and helped them to open the car from outside. When it was opened, they found Jaejoong running a high fever, his skin so pale and clothes drenched in sweat, he was shaking badly but refused to leave when they tried to get him out so they could bring him to the nearest clinic. He was holding onto the leather seat saying, “No, don’t take me away! I have to find him, I have to find him… Let me find Yunho, he has to come home! He has to come home…”
Eventually he was moved to the police car, the public servers offered to take him to a better hospital instead. Since they’re using an official vehicle, they sped through the highway without getting stopped. Yunho held Jaejoong all the way and he didn’t stop chanting and crying, “Yunho has to come home... I have to bring him home… His parents are waiting; he has to come home… Please let me bring him home…”
Apparently he caught hypothermia and they were about an hour away from having a dead Jaejoong in the car, he was losing his body heat. Story was told that when he realized Yunho he couldn’t find his charge and didn’t hear anything from him at all, he refused to leave and searched for him around the area in the middle of heavy rain and wind for a couple of hours. In his exhaustion, he didn’t even remember to turn on the van’s heater until they found him that morning. He didn’t stop talking about bringing Yunho home until the doctor jabbed him with sedative to put him to sleep. Jaejoong stayed asleep for another 48 hours.
He didn’t understand why Jaejoong didn’t leave and return the in the morning to look for him but insisted to search by himself. That’s when he heard about Jaejoong’s past from Yoochun. How lonely he was when he was waiting for his parents to come home. No message, no goodbye, just waiting patiently for more than 2 months until a police officer and a state lawyer came knocking at his door and relayed the message that nobody had the heart to tell him. There were 3 more years of expectation until he accepted the fact that he had no one to wait home for. And it was Yunho’s first time of crying for someone else beside his family. He felt like a jerk, for only wanting him physically and not trying to dig deeper into his heart. And he vowed that he’d be the one who’s coming home for Jaejoong everyday.
Jaejoong had a warm heart but not when he thought people took pity on him for his past - just what he suspected of Yunho. Slowly, Yunho paved his way into his life. Even when Jaejoong agreed to go steady with him, he still felt that something was missing from their relationship. Family. That’s what Jaejoong was longing for. And after getting to know Jaejoong for more than a year and listening to his life story, Yunho’s parents didn’t hesitate to take part in the mission of making Jaejoong belong to the family. Even JiHye was more than happy to have a new ‘better looking and better manner big brother’.
Jaejoong was his first boyfriend (and vice versa), his first love and he hoped to be the last like the fairy tale that JiHye loved to hear when they were much younger. He thought that he would be the one that would come home for Jaejoong and never make him wait. But reality bites, there were countless times when Jaejoong had to sleep behind the steering wheel while waiting for him on extended shooting or entertaining directors… Yunho was always the first to fell asleep when they got home and the latter to wake up. Most of the times when he opened his eyes, Jaejoong was ready to start the day with his long schedule and made sure that everything was perfect. He would be the one who informed the Jungs of his schedule, reminded him of birthdays and anniversary of family members (but never of himself). And Yunho had enjoyed everything as if it was what meant to be. He didn’t remember his vow anymore.
That dawn when he found Jaejoong left the pavilion he couldn’t stop crying. He felt so guilty, but of what he didn’t really comprehend. He just understood that he had made Jaejoong sad and it broke his heart too. Then as the situation with Soon Mi getting more complicated, little by little he put Jaejoong aside at the back of his head. Only guilt remained.
There were times when he wanted to pick up the phone to call, but he’s too afraid that hearing his voice would break them down. He couldn’t, not especially when Soon Mi needed his extra attention. He made his choice, he had to take responsibility. The wedding happened… then his little angel Moonbin came along… His guilt ate him up inside day after day to the point where he was sure that Jaejoong wouldn’t want to have anything to do with him anymore. The more he thought of Jaejoong, the more he felt like he had wronged him and wondered how he must’ve hated him.
Yunho had forgotten the most important thing. The strange conversation he had with the older guy a few years back.
‘Everything happens for a reason, my parents always taught me. I found it useless to look back at what’s already gone. You just told me that I’m your most treasured possession now. Please bear in mind… as for everything I had been going through, you have become my reason for each & every day.’
He had forgotten that he was the reason for Jaejoong to live. He had forgotten that after the conversation when they made love slowly under the moonlight, Jaejoong had declared that he no longer had a heart. He had given it to Yunho completely and nothing left for him. And Jaejoong asked him to promise to take care of his heart… He didn’t hesitate to say yes, felt so sure of himself to be able to keep the promise. Yet he still didn’t understand it when Jaejoong reminded him the night he left the house. He tried to follow Yoochun’s words at the lounge, to see past the guilt and the hut before he reminisce every single word that Jaejoong had told him in the balcony.
Finally he recalled one sentence that felt like a slap in the face now, ‘After all, how can a person hate another who held possession of his heart?’.
He had underestimated Jaejoong’s love and devotion to him. Jaejoong would never blame him for everything, Jaejoong would never hate him for every mistake that he had done. Yunho owned his heart, Yunho owned his whole reasons to live. He had no excuse to not forgiving him. And yet Yunho never saw the facts until he broke the trust that Jaejoong had entrusted him with his life. Yunho had failed to understand that that’s how Jaejoong loves, with his entire being.
Jaejoong was not the pathetic one. He was not the broken one. It had been himself all along, immersed in what he called ‘responsibilities’ as an excuse to justify his decisions. Yunho had been having an easy life since he was born that he missed something big, being unconditionally loved by another person was not given. It was a privilege that god granted only to a few lucky ones.
The dawn was breaking outside the window, coloring the morning with a faint yellow and orange like a painting. He didn’t even sleep a blink after Yoochun left him in the lounge but returned to his parents’ suite to check on Moonbin. His parents’ had emptied one room for him and he’d been lying on the bed still in his suit, thinking over everything that had happened to him for the past 20 hours until he reached an understanding and fathom the whole words that Jaejoong had told him. He finally felt relieved.
He also had made another decision; he had to patch things up with Jaejoong and rebuild their relationship from scratch. It won’t be easy, but he had to start. Jaejoong made it clear that he only saw him as a friend right now, he had no other choice as he’s also a man with family. But this time he had to tell him that the finally understood… and no matter for how many more years, until Jaejoong told him to let go… he would treasure his heart that had sacrificed for him over and over again.
Yunho’s tiredness, hesitation and sleepiness were all gone as morning came. He would have face Jaejoong once again. Yet, he failed to remember that Soon Mi was expecting him home with Moonbin last night.
* * * * *
He just finished shower and changed when he heard the doorbell of his apartment rang. It must be Yoochun, he left a message earlier in his phone that he got his overnight bag and coming over.
“Come on in, you remember the codes don’t you!” He shouted. Park Yoochun always knew his door codes, how couldn’t he? He was the one who provided the place for him.
After a minute, nobody came in. The doorbell rang again. And Jaejoong went to the door to open it in annoyance.
“Yoochun-ssi, don’t’ tell me that you forgot the dig-“ he stopped talking abruptly.
There, in front of him Yunho was standing. Still clad in yesterday’s suit but his complexion was very much better than the one that Jaejoong saw in the wedding.
“Good morning. Yoochun knows your door codes?” was the first thing he asked, a slight of annoyance was heard which made Jaejoong’s eyes flinched.
“If you’re here just to tell me who I should and shouldn’t give my door codes to, then I suggest you pick another day,” he sounded more irritated then he intended to.
Yunho’s face changed into apologetic. “No, I’m sorry, my bad. Let me repeat that again,” he drew a deep breath, “Good morning Jaejoong. It was nice talking to you yesterday and I have spent all night thinking of what you told me and doing some self reflection. Mind to invite me in to talk? I even brought you breakfast.” He held up a paper bag of chocolate muffins, his favorite.
Jaejoong stared at him… like he’s trying to decide if it was a good idea to let him in. Yunho held his breath.
“How did you know where I live?”
“Changmin?” he replied sheepishly, “JiHye hated me for ringing their suite so early in the morning.”
After a few seconds a smile broke on Jaejoong’s face, “Good morning Yunho. It would be a record for you to bring me breakfast, I’m flattered. As far as I remember you couldn’t even wake up without someone kicking your ass.” And he opened his door widely. “Come in, shall I brew us some tea? Looks like we’ll need more than a pot.”
Yunho started to breathe again. This time he’ll make it right. He looked up to the sky before he stepped in, ‘God, please give me another chance to put everything right for this man. I owed him that much.’ And he closed the door behind him softly.
* * * * *
Soon Mi was restless. She had been waiting for her husband and son to come home last night. She knew that Yunho’s parents would stay another night at the hotel, but Yunho told her that he would come home with Moonbin since she was left alone at home.
She didn’t try to call him neither; she’s not interested to hear lies and excuses or guilt in his voice. He should’ve known that she hated waiting. It’s already close to lunchtime when she heard the main gate opened and the sound of wheels outside. She hurried to the door, expecting to see Yunho outside but only his parents in law coming with Moonbin.
“Soon Mi-ah, have you been resting well? Are you feeling better now?” his mother in law asked in concern.
“Umma, I miss you! Umma okay now?” Moonbin ran, hugging her knees.
She held her up and kissed him, “Umma is fine now Binnie, now why didn’t you come home with Appa last night?” she asked the question to his son but directed her gaze to her mother in law who looked confuse.
“Didn’t Yunho call you last night that he’s staying with us? Well, he was drinking with his boss, Park Yoochun, in the lounge until late, we figured that he didn’t want to make you wait and offered him the empty room in our suit to sleep.” She explained.
Her anger rose in an instant and she put Moonbin down harshly, “No he didn’t!! I didn’t even sleep wondering if he even remembers to come home!”
“Umma…” Moonbin touched her timidly, he didn’t understand why her mother suddenly being angry. Was it because he was staying with his grandparents?
Her father in law stepped in, “Soon Mi-ah, calm down. You scared Moonbin here. Maybe Yunho just forgot, besides it had been sometime since he’s out drinking with his friend.”
Her anger didn’t seem to cease, “Oh really, so his friends were more important than his ill wife! Is he getting sick of me too?”
“Umma… don’t angry,” Moonbin tried to reach out to her once again but she pushed his hand away.
“Stop touching me! I bet you didn’t even remember me while you’re having fun with your Appa!” she screamed and Moonbin started crying now… his Grandmother quickly gathered him in her arms.
“Soon Mi! What is wrong with you! Your son didn’t understand anything, look how scared he is!”
“Well he always had his father to run to! And speaking of his father, where the hell is he?? Why didn’t he come home with you? Where is he?!” She started to get hysterical and Yunho’s father had to put both hands on her arms to calm her down.
“Take it easy Soon Mi. You’re not sick anymore, you’re healty now. You just don’t feel well, calm down will you. Let’s sit first. Yunho just went to return Jaejoong’s bag that he forgot in Changmin’s room last night.”
At the sound of Jaejoong’s name she shook her head furiously, “Jaejoong? He left me for Jaejoong? I don’t’ want to sit, I want my husband, where is my husband? Where is Yunho?! Did Jaejoong take him away from me?”
Yunho’s father knew he couldn’t handle her anymore as Soon Mi started to take threw out everything around her in her fit, yelling and shouting in hysterics about a husband who forgot his wife.
Yunho’s mother had long gone to the main house with his crying grandson and had the butler - Kibum, to call Soon Mi’s physician to come asap.
It took a scratch on Yunho’s father’s face from the remote control that Soon Mi threw at him in her fit, and another hour until Soon Mi fell asleep from the doctor’s sedative. Kibum had to help Yunho’s father to hold her arms so the doctor could inject her vein.
Yunho’s parents wanted to call Yunho, but they knew that his son needed to make things clear first with Jaejoong. He owed him almost 3 years of explanation, Jaejoong deserved an uninterrupted conversation with Yunho and they’re willing to take care of Soon Mi until they’ve finished talking.
* * * * *
Yunho’s parents had taken the doctor to the main house so they could talk without being afraid that Soon Mi would wake up and overhear. They had fed Moonbin his lunch and now he’s napping in JiHye’s room, he was still crying when his ‘Gamma’ put him to bed.
He had asked her, “Gamma, why Umma angry at Binnie? Binnie bad? But Binnie miss Umma, why Umma mad at Binnie? Binnie wants Appa, call Appa for Binnie.” She rubbed his back until he fell asleep, telling him that he wasn’t bad but his Umma was not feeling well. Yes, Gamma will call Appa for him. She kissed his tear stained face before she came down to join his husband and the doctor.
She saw that both gentlemen had a stiff face. She took a seat next to her husband. “Is there something I should know?”
The doctor looked at her straight, “I need to talk to Yunho later, but it’s really not a good idea to keep the baby in her condition. She’s mentally unstable and with the possibility of a relapse, she shou-“
“Wait, wait doctor,” the lady held up her right hand to stop the doctor from talking. “What baby and what’s possibility of a relapse are you talking about?” She asked in confusion.
Her husband sighed deeply, “Honey, Soon Mi is three weeks pregnant. On her last check-up there’s an increase in her tumor marker from the blood test result.”
She gapped at her husband, then the doctor, “Wha- how, how come Yunho never mentioned this to us?”
The doctor replied, “Seems to me that she hid that from your son, Mrs. Jung. He didn’t come for the last check-up with her did he.”
“No, he didn’t. Because Moonbin had flu but we were meeting the planner for JiHye’s wedding preparation, so he had to stay home with him and the driver drove her to the hospital. Since there was nothing serious in the previous 3 check-ups we thought it would be the same and she also promised to inform Yunho should there’s be anything alarming from the result. What about the pregnancy?”
“She asked me previously about the possibility of bearing another child. I informed her that she should wait for at least until year, when the bi-annually check-up had finished with an all clear result & the same happened until her 2nd annual check-up to prevent any possibility of the baby carrying the same cancer cell as the mother.” He explained.
“I didn’t understand the meaning but at that time she said that she was running out of time. She didn’t return for another consultation, I figured that she might come later since everyone was busy with the wedding. But then I received a call from the obgyn dept. Since the record also showed that she’s still under my care, they were concerned with her pregnancy result and contacted me for advice.”
Both elders now had their hands on their face… overwhelmed with the newfound facts of their daughter in law’s condition.
“Doctor…” it’s the older woman who spoke to him. “If… if she insists in keeping the baby… well I’m also a mother, and I know that I would want to keep my baby. If that happens… would you honestly tell us the risk and what should we do? What Yunho should do?”
“Mrs. Jung, to tell you the truth I still do not recommend her to go on with the pregnancy. Let me tell you why. If the tumor marker passes its minimum limit she will have to undergo another radiation soon. It’s not possible with a baby in her stomach, it will endanger the baby even more. And if she refuses radiation, we also can’t give too much medicine. Cancer medicines are strong, there’s a risk that it will stop the fetus’ growth and the baby might be born prematurely with whatever effects the medicine brings. But what concerns me most…” he took a more serious manner at the two elders in front of him.
“Even if the marker doesn’t actually increase, it’s definite that the baby will be a carrier of the cancer cell and get infected. A cancer medication for a newborn isn’t available, the baby might have to wait until it’s ready for medication. For how long, I can’t promise you anything. We will have to work together with the obgyn department to find out all possibilities.”
“Oh my god…” she started crying now.
“Mr. Jung, my apology to make your wife cries, but it’s my duty to honestly inform you beforehand. As for her mental health, she also has the risk of going under pre & post natal syndrome which won’t be good for her body. You know that negative minds will trigger bad cells to grow faster. She needs to be in perfect mental health to be able to undergo each medication. I’ve told you everything that I need to tell you, I really hope you also don’t hide the facts from your son. Please ask him to make an appointment with me whenever he can so he can make a decision for the baby. I’m very sorry,” the doctor bowed at the Jung couple.
The older man bowed back at the doctor, pondering of what kind of life that his son would go through in next few months. They also must be prepared. He just hoped that their son is strong enough to face come what may. He held his wife’s hands tightly; they will be there for him. And it’s time to make a call to Busan. One of Soon Mi’s parents must be with their daughter.
* * * * *
Chapter 12
This chapter will be the last part of Yunjae's Meeting & Conversation. Then we'll have a little time skip nearing the death of someone... I guess you know who... and can't wait for it already LOL
Just FYI, based on my both parents experience, cancer patients in my country are required to have a 6 monthly check-up for 2 years (4 times in total) then if all clear they only need to go once a year for another 3 years, so total check-up would be 7 times in the span of 5 years. ONLY IF EVERYTHING IS NORMAL -- meaning: no new cancer cells found. In my Dad's case, he stopped in his 5th and live healthily until today, while my mom passed away a year after her surgery. So yeah, cancer is deadly. Just wanna share with you the importance of having yourself checked-up at least annually :) But I hope everyone is safe and sound!!
Still looking forward to your comments on this chapter though... Thank you everyone!
Chapter 11: Realization
All his life Yunho had always been the center of attention. As the Jung’s firstborn, he was never lacked in anything material, even love from all around him. Guys wanted his look, girls wanted his heart. And he was lucky enough to have a set of parents who always supported whatever he wanted to do, including when he decided to pursue acting career right after he finished high school instead of preparing himself to be as the heir of Jung Corp. He had been modeling since he was in Junior High so the road to fame was smooth sailing.
With a small agency but a smart CEO, supported by the best manager in the business there was no stopping him. He thought the world was on his side, he got only the best. But that was until Kim Jaejoong became his manager.
Kim Jaejoong was a hardworker, it’s well known. Yunho was the 1st member of the agency that he was in charge with since his former had left the company to work for a more senior actor. The reasons Park Yoochun assigned Jaejoong to him were because Yunho was an easygoing person and didn’t mind to assist the new guy despite their actual positions. And soon after they had formed a perfect team.
Yunho didn’t deny that it was the other’s looks that first attracted him. Jeez, it would be sin not to get attracted to him in the first place. He always knew that girls didn’t attract him sexually, his flings would only got as far as some heavy petting or make-out session, but never real sex. And he’s too reluctant to find out about gay sex from a one night stand. No matter how carefree he might look like, sappy as it may sound, he believed in love. Not that many know that though… except for his little sister who kept telling him, “Oppa, you’re choosing the wrong career if you’re looking for true love. Get real and get a life!” And she was just a middle schooler!
Kim Jaejoong didn’t speak much, he just did his job devotedly as if there’s nothing else that he should be interested in but Yunho’s schedule, Yunho’s health, new opportunities for Yunho, practically all about Yunho. Nevertheless he noticed that whenever he was around his family, he would act a little bit out of place, like he didn’t belong, yet he had this longing in his eyes when JiHye would hugged him when she returned from school and found him at the house. He would look away when Yunho’s parents fussed around him to spend more time with them on his break. And yet Yunho was never able to make him tell his story.
Everything changed one night. Yunho was supposed to shoot some scenes at the foot of a mountain when suddenly the weather change drastically. The crew had to rush to pack their expensive devices while the actors were advised to leave soonest to the nearest town where the crews would join them. In the chaos, Yunho got onto the wrong van of another actor who left in hurry and checked-in into a small motel an hour later with another twenty something people from the production team. He tried to contact Jaejoong in vain, seemed like the mobile connection was broken. He thought Jaejoong would’ve taken the initiative to check the others since everyone practically separated into two motels, 50 meters from one another.
So when morning came and the weather was back to its calm and shiny self, he was a bit panicked cause after checking around including making some phone calls to the other motel; no one actually had seen his manager since they left the location. He called the agency, but Jaejoong hadn’t called either. He didn’t waste any time and asked the help of some crews to return to the location to look for him.
Yunho found his van parked at its original place. When he peered inside the tinted glass he saw Jaejoong sleeping in the middle seat. He pounded on the window asking him to open the door from inside but he didn’t seem to hear. A police car happened to pass by and helped them to open the car from outside. When it was opened, they found Jaejoong running a high fever, his skin so pale and clothes drenched in sweat, he was shaking badly but refused to leave when they tried to get him out so they could bring him to the nearest clinic. He was holding onto the leather seat saying, “No, don’t take me away! I have to find him, I have to find him… Let me find Yunho, he has to come home! He has to come home…”
Eventually he was moved to the police car, the public servers offered to take him to a better hospital instead. Since they’re using an official vehicle, they sped through the highway without getting stopped. Yunho held Jaejoong all the way and he didn’t stop chanting and crying, “Yunho has to come home... I have to bring him home… His parents are waiting; he has to come home… Please let me bring him home…”
Apparently he caught hypothermia and they were about an hour away from having a dead Jaejoong in the car, he was losing his body heat. Story was told that when he realized Yunho he couldn’t find his charge and didn’t hear anything from him at all, he refused to leave and searched for him around the area in the middle of heavy rain and wind for a couple of hours. In his exhaustion, he didn’t even remember to turn on the van’s heater until they found him that morning. He didn’t stop talking about bringing Yunho home until the doctor jabbed him with sedative to put him to sleep. Jaejoong stayed asleep for another 48 hours.
He didn’t understand why Jaejoong didn’t leave and return the in the morning to look for him but insisted to search by himself. That’s when he heard about Jaejoong’s past from Yoochun. How lonely he was when he was waiting for his parents to come home. No message, no goodbye, just waiting patiently for more than 2 months until a police officer and a state lawyer came knocking at his door and relayed the message that nobody had the heart to tell him. There were 3 more years of expectation until he accepted the fact that he had no one to wait home for. And it was Yunho’s first time of crying for someone else beside his family. He felt like a jerk, for only wanting him physically and not trying to dig deeper into his heart. And he vowed that he’d be the one who’s coming home for Jaejoong everyday.
Jaejoong had a warm heart but not when he thought people took pity on him for his past - just what he suspected of Yunho. Slowly, Yunho paved his way into his life. Even when Jaejoong agreed to go steady with him, he still felt that something was missing from their relationship. Family. That’s what Jaejoong was longing for. And after getting to know Jaejoong for more than a year and listening to his life story, Yunho’s parents didn’t hesitate to take part in the mission of making Jaejoong belong to the family. Even JiHye was more than happy to have a new ‘better looking and better manner big brother’.
Jaejoong was his first boyfriend (and vice versa), his first love and he hoped to be the last like the fairy tale that JiHye loved to hear when they were much younger. He thought that he would be the one that would come home for Jaejoong and never make him wait. But reality bites, there were countless times when Jaejoong had to sleep behind the steering wheel while waiting for him on extended shooting or entertaining directors… Yunho was always the first to fell asleep when they got home and the latter to wake up. Most of the times when he opened his eyes, Jaejoong was ready to start the day with his long schedule and made sure that everything was perfect. He would be the one who informed the Jungs of his schedule, reminded him of birthdays and anniversary of family members (but never of himself). And Yunho had enjoyed everything as if it was what meant to be. He didn’t remember his vow anymore.
That dawn when he found Jaejoong left the pavilion he couldn’t stop crying. He felt so guilty, but of what he didn’t really comprehend. He just understood that he had made Jaejoong sad and it broke his heart too. Then as the situation with Soon Mi getting more complicated, little by little he put Jaejoong aside at the back of his head. Only guilt remained.
There were times when he wanted to pick up the phone to call, but he’s too afraid that hearing his voice would break them down. He couldn’t, not especially when Soon Mi needed his extra attention. He made his choice, he had to take responsibility. The wedding happened… then his little angel Moonbin came along… His guilt ate him up inside day after day to the point where he was sure that Jaejoong wouldn’t want to have anything to do with him anymore. The more he thought of Jaejoong, the more he felt like he had wronged him and wondered how he must’ve hated him.
Yunho had forgotten the most important thing. The strange conversation he had with the older guy a few years back.
‘Everything happens for a reason, my parents always taught me. I found it useless to look back at what’s already gone. You just told me that I’m your most treasured possession now. Please bear in mind… as for everything I had been going through, you have become my reason for each & every day.’
He had forgotten that he was the reason for Jaejoong to live. He had forgotten that after the conversation when they made love slowly under the moonlight, Jaejoong had declared that he no longer had a heart. He had given it to Yunho completely and nothing left for him. And Jaejoong asked him to promise to take care of his heart… He didn’t hesitate to say yes, felt so sure of himself to be able to keep the promise. Yet he still didn’t understand it when Jaejoong reminded him the night he left the house. He tried to follow Yoochun’s words at the lounge, to see past the guilt and the hut before he reminisce every single word that Jaejoong had told him in the balcony.
Finally he recalled one sentence that felt like a slap in the face now, ‘After all, how can a person hate another who held possession of his heart?’.
He had underestimated Jaejoong’s love and devotion to him. Jaejoong would never blame him for everything, Jaejoong would never hate him for every mistake that he had done. Yunho owned his heart, Yunho owned his whole reasons to live. He had no excuse to not forgiving him. And yet Yunho never saw the facts until he broke the trust that Jaejoong had entrusted him with his life. Yunho had failed to understand that that’s how Jaejoong loves, with his entire being.
Jaejoong was not the pathetic one. He was not the broken one. It had been himself all along, immersed in what he called ‘responsibilities’ as an excuse to justify his decisions. Yunho had been having an easy life since he was born that he missed something big, being unconditionally loved by another person was not given. It was a privilege that god granted only to a few lucky ones.
The dawn was breaking outside the window, coloring the morning with a faint yellow and orange like a painting. He didn’t even sleep a blink after Yoochun left him in the lounge but returned to his parents’ suite to check on Moonbin. His parents’ had emptied one room for him and he’d been lying on the bed still in his suit, thinking over everything that had happened to him for the past 20 hours until he reached an understanding and fathom the whole words that Jaejoong had told him. He finally felt relieved.
He also had made another decision; he had to patch things up with Jaejoong and rebuild their relationship from scratch. It won’t be easy, but he had to start. Jaejoong made it clear that he only saw him as a friend right now, he had no other choice as he’s also a man with family. But this time he had to tell him that the finally understood… and no matter for how many more years, until Jaejoong told him to let go… he would treasure his heart that had sacrificed for him over and over again.
Yunho’s tiredness, hesitation and sleepiness were all gone as morning came. He would have face Jaejoong once again. Yet, he failed to remember that Soon Mi was expecting him home with Moonbin last night.
* * * * *
He just finished shower and changed when he heard the doorbell of his apartment rang. It must be Yoochun, he left a message earlier in his phone that he got his overnight bag and coming over.
“Come on in, you remember the codes don’t you!” He shouted. Park Yoochun always knew his door codes, how couldn’t he? He was the one who provided the place for him.
After a minute, nobody came in. The doorbell rang again. And Jaejoong went to the door to open it in annoyance.
“Yoochun-ssi, don’t’ tell me that you forgot the dig-“ he stopped talking abruptly.
There, in front of him Yunho was standing. Still clad in yesterday’s suit but his complexion was very much better than the one that Jaejoong saw in the wedding.
“Good morning. Yoochun knows your door codes?” was the first thing he asked, a slight of annoyance was heard which made Jaejoong’s eyes flinched.
“If you’re here just to tell me who I should and shouldn’t give my door codes to, then I suggest you pick another day,” he sounded more irritated then he intended to.
Yunho’s face changed into apologetic. “No, I’m sorry, my bad. Let me repeat that again,” he drew a deep breath, “Good morning Jaejoong. It was nice talking to you yesterday and I have spent all night thinking of what you told me and doing some self reflection. Mind to invite me in to talk? I even brought you breakfast.” He held up a paper bag of chocolate muffins, his favorite.
Jaejoong stared at him… like he’s trying to decide if it was a good idea to let him in. Yunho held his breath.
“How did you know where I live?”
“Changmin?” he replied sheepishly, “JiHye hated me for ringing their suite so early in the morning.”
After a few seconds a smile broke on Jaejoong’s face, “Good morning Yunho. It would be a record for you to bring me breakfast, I’m flattered. As far as I remember you couldn’t even wake up without someone kicking your ass.” And he opened his door widely. “Come in, shall I brew us some tea? Looks like we’ll need more than a pot.”
Yunho started to breathe again. This time he’ll make it right. He looked up to the sky before he stepped in, ‘God, please give me another chance to put everything right for this man. I owed him that much.’ And he closed the door behind him softly.
* * * * *
Soon Mi was restless. She had been waiting for her husband and son to come home last night. She knew that Yunho’s parents would stay another night at the hotel, but Yunho told her that he would come home with Moonbin since she was left alone at home.
She didn’t try to call him neither; she’s not interested to hear lies and excuses or guilt in his voice. He should’ve known that she hated waiting. It’s already close to lunchtime when she heard the main gate opened and the sound of wheels outside. She hurried to the door, expecting to see Yunho outside but only his parents in law coming with Moonbin.
“Soon Mi-ah, have you been resting well? Are you feeling better now?” his mother in law asked in concern.
“Umma, I miss you! Umma okay now?” Moonbin ran, hugging her knees.
She held her up and kissed him, “Umma is fine now Binnie, now why didn’t you come home with Appa last night?” she asked the question to his son but directed her gaze to her mother in law who looked confuse.
“Didn’t Yunho call you last night that he’s staying with us? Well, he was drinking with his boss, Park Yoochun, in the lounge until late, we figured that he didn’t want to make you wait and offered him the empty room in our suit to sleep.” She explained.
Her anger rose in an instant and she put Moonbin down harshly, “No he didn’t!! I didn’t even sleep wondering if he even remembers to come home!”
“Umma…” Moonbin touched her timidly, he didn’t understand why her mother suddenly being angry. Was it because he was staying with his grandparents?
Her father in law stepped in, “Soon Mi-ah, calm down. You scared Moonbin here. Maybe Yunho just forgot, besides it had been sometime since he’s out drinking with his friend.”
Her anger didn’t seem to cease, “Oh really, so his friends were more important than his ill wife! Is he getting sick of me too?”
“Umma… don’t angry,” Moonbin tried to reach out to her once again but she pushed his hand away.
“Stop touching me! I bet you didn’t even remember me while you’re having fun with your Appa!” she screamed and Moonbin started crying now… his Grandmother quickly gathered him in her arms.
“Soon Mi! What is wrong with you! Your son didn’t understand anything, look how scared he is!”
“Well he always had his father to run to! And speaking of his father, where the hell is he?? Why didn’t he come home with you? Where is he?!” She started to get hysterical and Yunho’s father had to put both hands on her arms to calm her down.
“Take it easy Soon Mi. You’re not sick anymore, you’re healty now. You just don’t feel well, calm down will you. Let’s sit first. Yunho just went to return Jaejoong’s bag that he forgot in Changmin’s room last night.”
At the sound of Jaejoong’s name she shook her head furiously, “Jaejoong? He left me for Jaejoong? I don’t’ want to sit, I want my husband, where is my husband? Where is Yunho?! Did Jaejoong take him away from me?”
Yunho’s father knew he couldn’t handle her anymore as Soon Mi started to take threw out everything around her in her fit, yelling and shouting in hysterics about a husband who forgot his wife.
Yunho’s mother had long gone to the main house with his crying grandson and had the butler - Kibum, to call Soon Mi’s physician to come asap.
It took a scratch on Yunho’s father’s face from the remote control that Soon Mi threw at him in her fit, and another hour until Soon Mi fell asleep from the doctor’s sedative. Kibum had to help Yunho’s father to hold her arms so the doctor could inject her vein.
Yunho’s parents wanted to call Yunho, but they knew that his son needed to make things clear first with Jaejoong. He owed him almost 3 years of explanation, Jaejoong deserved an uninterrupted conversation with Yunho and they’re willing to take care of Soon Mi until they’ve finished talking.
* * * * *
Yunho’s parents had taken the doctor to the main house so they could talk without being afraid that Soon Mi would wake up and overhear. They had fed Moonbin his lunch and now he’s napping in JiHye’s room, he was still crying when his ‘Gamma’ put him to bed.
He had asked her, “Gamma, why Umma angry at Binnie? Binnie bad? But Binnie miss Umma, why Umma mad at Binnie? Binnie wants Appa, call Appa for Binnie.” She rubbed his back until he fell asleep, telling him that he wasn’t bad but his Umma was not feeling well. Yes, Gamma will call Appa for him. She kissed his tear stained face before she came down to join his husband and the doctor.
She saw that both gentlemen had a stiff face. She took a seat next to her husband. “Is there something I should know?”
The doctor looked at her straight, “I need to talk to Yunho later, but it’s really not a good idea to keep the baby in her condition. She’s mentally unstable and with the possibility of a relapse, she shou-“
“Wait, wait doctor,” the lady held up her right hand to stop the doctor from talking. “What baby and what’s possibility of a relapse are you talking about?” She asked in confusion.
Her husband sighed deeply, “Honey, Soon Mi is three weeks pregnant. On her last check-up there’s an increase in her tumor marker from the blood test result.”
She gapped at her husband, then the doctor, “Wha- how, how come Yunho never mentioned this to us?”
The doctor replied, “Seems to me that she hid that from your son, Mrs. Jung. He didn’t come for the last check-up with her did he.”
“No, he didn’t. Because Moonbin had flu but we were meeting the planner for JiHye’s wedding preparation, so he had to stay home with him and the driver drove her to the hospital. Since there was nothing serious in the previous 3 check-ups we thought it would be the same and she also promised to inform Yunho should there’s be anything alarming from the result. What about the pregnancy?”
“She asked me previously about the possibility of bearing another child. I informed her that she should wait for at least until year, when the bi-annually check-up had finished with an all clear result & the same happened until her 2nd annual check-up to prevent any possibility of the baby carrying the same cancer cell as the mother.” He explained.
“I didn’t understand the meaning but at that time she said that she was running out of time. She didn’t return for another consultation, I figured that she might come later since everyone was busy with the wedding. But then I received a call from the obgyn dept. Since the record also showed that she’s still under my care, they were concerned with her pregnancy result and contacted me for advice.”
Both elders now had their hands on their face… overwhelmed with the newfound facts of their daughter in law’s condition.
“Doctor…” it’s the older woman who spoke to him. “If… if she insists in keeping the baby… well I’m also a mother, and I know that I would want to keep my baby. If that happens… would you honestly tell us the risk and what should we do? What Yunho should do?”
“Mrs. Jung, to tell you the truth I still do not recommend her to go on with the pregnancy. Let me tell you why. If the tumor marker passes its minimum limit she will have to undergo another radiation soon. It’s not possible with a baby in her stomach, it will endanger the baby even more. And if she refuses radiation, we also can’t give too much medicine. Cancer medicines are strong, there’s a risk that it will stop the fetus’ growth and the baby might be born prematurely with whatever effects the medicine brings. But what concerns me most…” he took a more serious manner at the two elders in front of him.
“Even if the marker doesn’t actually increase, it’s definite that the baby will be a carrier of the cancer cell and get infected. A cancer medication for a newborn isn’t available, the baby might have to wait until it’s ready for medication. For how long, I can’t promise you anything. We will have to work together with the obgyn department to find out all possibilities.”
“Oh my god…” she started crying now.
“Mr. Jung, my apology to make your wife cries, but it’s my duty to honestly inform you beforehand. As for her mental health, she also has the risk of going under pre & post natal syndrome which won’t be good for her body. You know that negative minds will trigger bad cells to grow faster. She needs to be in perfect mental health to be able to undergo each medication. I’ve told you everything that I need to tell you, I really hope you also don’t hide the facts from your son. Please ask him to make an appointment with me whenever he can so he can make a decision for the baby. I’m very sorry,” the doctor bowed at the Jung couple.
The older man bowed back at the doctor, pondering of what kind of life that his son would go through in next few months. They also must be prepared. He just hoped that their son is strong enough to face come what may. He held his wife’s hands tightly; they will be there for him. And it’s time to make a call to Busan. One of Soon Mi’s parents must be with their daughter.
* * * * *
Chapter 12
This chapter will be the last part of Yunjae's Meeting & Conversation. Then we'll have a little time skip nearing the death of someone... I guess you know who... and can't wait for it already LOL
Just FYI, based on my both parents experience, cancer patients in my country are required to have a 6 monthly check-up for 2 years (4 times in total) then if all clear they only need to go once a year for another 3 years, so total check-up would be 7 times in the span of 5 years. ONLY IF EVERYTHING IS NORMAL -- meaning: no new cancer cells found. In my Dad's case, he stopped in his 5th and live healthily until today, while my mom passed away a year after her surgery. So yeah, cancer is deadly. Just wanna share with you the importance of having yourself checked-up at least annually :) But I hope everyone is safe and sound!!
Still looking forward to your comments on this chapter though... Thank you everyone!