public library (restricted libraryHow to use this library, copy from this and start your own online zine library! (don't just link to my pages, since if I go down, you'll want to have a backup) If you have out-of-print zines transcribe them onto your zine libraries and spread the info... because we must be our own historians and librarians, ( Read more... )

I saw her face peering into my eyes, framed by the barely untangled locks of her dark hair. Hey, I said in recognition, it's been ages- how do I get to see you again? She blinked and shook her head, smoothing out her fingers. You can't, was the reply. I'm seeing you now, I relented. She let out an exasperated sigh and rolled her eyes with a ( Read more... )

So everything was wrong, but the problem with wrong is that there are many more ways to be wrong than right. It's hard to tell what's going on sometimes. This was like remembering a movie being incredible when you were a child, and then watching it again years later, it seems like a different and less impressive film. Like a Mandela effect of ( Read more... )

What has happened to me? Have I changed so much over these years that I can no longer express weakness or vulnerability? Has living behind walls made me into a coward? Was I ever a free spirit? Why am I trying to pose as an intellectual, when most of the time I feel like I'm having trouble pulling off a convincing act as a human ( Read more... )

People used to worry about how others would speak their name, whether with admiration and envy, or with disdain and loathing. Even terrible moguls who would would bring thugs to menace peaceful activists worried and created philanthropic organizations to alter public perception. Reputation was the only kind of non-pious immortality available, ( Read more... )

My father once warned me to watch out for things which are slippery ( Read more... )

I see him come in, the same way he always comes in, grumpy, disgruntled, pissed off at... life, maybe? But it's different now, he'd died over a month ago, a heart attack. He'd been revived shortly after by a coworker. Should he still be here? Does he deserve to be here? Shouldn't he be happy? What should he be doing ( Read more... )

I'm protected from the outside right now, from the piercing darkness of clear winter skies that can stare a coldness straight into bone, the contemptuous icy breaths that sting with a lingering bitterness. The night is a violent kind of calm, like an abandoned armory of bladed weapons. Is it strange that I miss it? I long for the thousand wonders ( Read more... )

I have to remind myself that my situation does not every really change, from the woods to wherever I am now, I always have to be prepared for the ambush. It was this way when I was growing up, and my siblings or myself would sometimes doom me to some parental punishment by a stray word or two. I was too young and foolish to realize that there was ( Read more... )

I wish I were more like you, she tells me. But you are like me, I tell her. No, not like that, not that part. She means her anxiety, and my lack thereof. The reason why I didn't get post-traumatic stress like my street medic partners, no flashbacks or sudden jolts of emotion. Sometimes I think it makes me a bit less human, to lack a part of the ( Read more... )