Wimbledon is on, but you haven't heard from me. As is written in some prophetic book or other, a lack of updates from trombonerbyday during a tennis grand slam is the first and only sign of the LJocalypse. The current age is coming to an end ( Read more... )

Beloved friends,

Amanda and I have decided to take our relationship to the next level. We'd like to be more-than-BFFs.

On Wednesday, June 13, 2012, I proposed to Amanda, and it looked something like this:


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"I'm not sitting here and saying I'm done, because I'm far from it." ---Maria Sharapova, at the Roland Garros Final interview ( Read more... )

WHAT DID I TELL YOU

DID YOU HEAR ANY DOUBT IN MY VOICE

I REJECT ANY NOTION OF A REALITY IN WHICH MARIA SHARAPOVA HAS NOT ATTAINED A CAREER GRAND SLAM

YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

OH HOW I HAVE WAITED

Okay, so, just to be clear, so that we're all on the same page ( Read more... )

This Saturday, while I am in an airplane somewhere over the northern Atlantic Ocean, Maria Sharapova will play in the women's finals match at the 2012 French Open. She will win. When I land in Boston, I'll check the score and find out that she has won, and I'll rejoice ( Read more... )

MARIA SHARAPOVA IS THE #1 RANKED WOMEN'S TENNIS PLAYER IN THE WORLD.

More to follow.

Ladies and gentlemen ( Read more... )

Hey kids, just like that, we got a live one! It's probably for the best that Sharapova played while I was at work today, because I would've been under a lot of stress watching a match with 21 breaks of serve out of 30 games total. The stats suggest that both players went for an unrelenting risk-reward style despite apparently windy conditions ( Read more... )