I am losing in life. Everything that I am trying to save, is falling away from me. And the things I don't want anymore seem to be getting closer. I can't explain it in detail, cause it would be sharing my heart and I can't do that. But I am losing the one thing I have left of Shennan, and thats Aqua. I feel that I need to protect her now, be her ( Read more... )

I heard this phrase on a show that I watch, The Days, the father said " It's okay to fall down, it's not okay to just lie there." And I couldn't help but thinking this was the most true thing I have heard in a while. Against all my best efforts, I am just lying in life. I can't get up anymore. I guess I either don't see the point or am just to much ( Read more... )

Shit happens and there is nothing we can do about it. But when it happens to you, you cannot let it destroy you. It cannot rule your life and begin to make you the person that you are. It should make you grow. It should make you a stronger person for the good. Case and point. My best friend had a bullet put through her head. The only person who ( Read more... )

I went to the store today, for some sushi, and both of my friends work theri and I couldn't beleive how weird it was to see them. Not to see them there, but just to see them in general. I know nothing about their lives anymore and I guess thats one of the most depressing things I have ever heard. I spent all day making a mixed CD for Matt mostly ( Read more... )

I don't quite know what sparked me to start changing myself. I guess I hate me, so if I chnage who I am, then I will be a better liked person. But thats all just bull shit so that I don't have to admit to myself that I hate who I am. And so if I change the things I can control, then that should make me better, right? By dying my hair a shade, ( Read more... )

I always feel like I have to be the smart on, or the funny one, or the kind one, or somthing that I don't really want to be. I am always the friend that lest everyone cry on my shoulder, but when I need a shoulder to cry on, I have no one. The hardest times in my life and I got to cry to myself. I didn't talk about it with my friends because I knew ( Read more... )

I don't know why it hit me so sudden, but if I look at it now, I am almost out of high school. I will be a junior this upcoming school year and that terrifies me. Not because I hate school, which I do, but because not to long after that, I will be graduating. And doing what with my life? I don't know. Honestly I tell myself all the time that I will ( Read more... )

I never realized how much hate I have harbored for someone I don't even know. I only know of the act that he did, the sentence that he received, and the pit in my stomach that I will never be rid of. I don't know what I hate more, the thing that he did, or the way that it left me. So broken and absolutely rethinking everything I have ever loved or ( Read more... )

I couldn't quite figure out if everything I really say I do for others, is for them. Or am I just a selfish brat trying to boast my own self esteem or improve my public appearance to everyone else. I believe that I do the things I do with the most heart felt intentions, but does the world see that. I can't rightly sit by and tell my friends that ( Read more... )

I've been thinking lately about things that i wish i could change about my life and everything involved in it, and i have come up with a wish list ( Read more... )