After the Body Swap
“You’ve learned some terrible manners at college,” Sharon Padalecki said, looking at her son.
Jared was dripping with sweat from his run that morning, wearing only his shorts; his shirt in his back pocket as he stood in the middle of his mother’s pristine kitchen.
He was leaning on the sink drinking orange juice straight from the carton.
At his mother’s words he jumped a little and turned around, not looking like he felt the least bit guilty for breaking one of his mother’s long list of rules. He managed to make a contrite face, his mother clucked at his attempts.
He took the carton from his mouth, droplets of orange juice falling on his face mixing with the sweat.
He gave her a smile, when he used to quake in fear. As he had grown up they had reached a truce and a sense of humor and mockery had entered their relationship.
“One year of college and you’ve forgotten everything I’ve ever taught you,” his mother said with a dramatic sigh.
Jared grinned deeper, his dimples coming out. “Don’t worry Momma, you have all summer to relearn me everything.”
She threw her hands up and turned on her heel, muttering about where she had gone wrong. Jared’s laughter followed her.
He was comfortable here. This was his home. This was his life. This was his normal.
But the moment Sharon left the room; Jared turned back to the sink and put down the carton. He braced himself on the counter’s edge, his joking mood gone.
He was back in his thoughts. He was usually so comfortable in his own skin. He was gay and to him that was just normal. It didn’t make him feel more abnormal than being tall.
However today had reminded him just how different he was.
It had taken one second and he was shocked out of his orbit.
There were two things in his life that weren’t normal, two things that didn’t seem to fit in his mother’s kitchen.
One was that he had excelled at basketball, he was a god on the court, he had potential to be a legend. But that dream had been dashed a few months ago during his first year of college with a blown knee. He had lived with that. It had seemed too amazing to be real anyway.
He was just Jared Padalecki here, one of the giants of the Padalecki clan. He wasn’t a superstar or a failure. He could live with that.
There was the other thing that made him strikingly different.
And it wasn’t something that he could as easily live with.
It was something that wasn’t apparent by looking at him, something he really didn’t share with people. It was something that nobody would believe anyway. Most of all it was something that he had been trying to pretend didn’t exist.
It was the one thing that made him always feel like a freak and a crazy person.
That one thing had been running on the far side of the park this morning.
More often than not he forgot about the part of him that was abnormal. It was easy enough to write off. He didn’t believe it himself most the time.
Six years ago he had a week that he couldn’t explain.
He’d really like to blame Jensen Ackles, but in his entire life Jensen had only spoken a single sentence to him.
Well, that was complicated. Jensen Ackles had only spoken a sentence from those perfect lips to Jared’s own ears.
“I don’t think anyone noticed."
Jared had hung his head and that had been all. That had been all he had ever gotten from the one person who could have understood.
After that he was thirteen again and he felt crazy. Crazy in his normal little life.
He was in eighth grade before and after. Jensen Ackles was a senior in high school. Nobody had an inkling that they knew each other, but they knew each other very well.
But they both carried on life as if that week had never happened, as if they didn’t know each other.
Jared hadn’t looked at, hadn’t spoken to, and had ducked Jensen every time the opportunity arose since he was thirteen years old.
But it didn’t change facts.
What he couldn’t seem to shake was that there really was nothing more wholly and completely embarrassing as facing Jensen Ackles again after their body swap.
Jensen was running late, as was the effect of the coffee that he inhaled on his way into work. All of this sluggishness he blamed on Chris Kane and his peer pressure pushing of tequila.
He was mostly bleary eyed. Early classes had been one thing, but getting up at eight every morning for his internship was really hard and he had only been doing it for a week.
He was in the staff kitchen at the Sports and Fitness Edge, the full service complex he had begun to think of as his new hell. He poured more coffee, praying that it would work faster and better than the two mugs he had already consumed. He breathed in and turned to go down the hall for his first physical therapy appointment of the day. He was moving a little too fast as he went through the door and slammed into a solid, huge immovable torso.
His first thought was gratefulness to the gods of non-spill coffee mugs.
His first action was to look up.
And after that he was struck dumb.
He blinked up at a face and then shook off whatever it was that had gone through him. He was far too hungover for this.
Wide hazel green eyes looked down at him, startled far more than this situation required. Jensen peeled himself off of the obscenely large man. He managed a muttered apology to the big oaf who didn’t have the politeness to move and ambled down the hall to his first appointment.
He was about twenty minutes into helping little Elle Fanning get motion back in her leg after a nasty break when he lost the ability to move.
The coffee suddenly kicked in and brought his brain back into awareness.
Those eyes. He had seen those eyes. He had stared at those eyes in the mirror for hours about six years ago. He knew those eyes.
He was willing to swallow the machine that Elle was currently sweating around trying to move her foot if that guy didn’t have crater deep dimples in his cheeks.
He was goddamned sure that he knew that guy, before that guy had hit a growth spurt.
Jensen smiled at Elle who was looking up at him curiously. Jensen pulled himself back into the moment and somehow managed to give her his attention for the rest of the twenty-five minutes that they had left.
When he got through with Elle and finally was able to leave the room he was a little stunned.
He had been eighteen and things like that didn’t happen. That week he had crossed off as a dream. It wasn’t like he had ever seen Jared Padalecki again. The kid lived down the street from his aunt, but years ago he had stopped trying to avoid the house. It was almost like it hadn’t existed, like there wasn’t a person out there that he had told everything he knew about himself at eighteen to.
As if there wasn’t one other person on the face of the earth that literally had walked in his shoes, in his feet, in his skin.
And that little figment of his imagination had grown. The kid had been a few inches under five feet at the time. How the hell had he turned into that. Had grown into an abnormally tall and good-looking mountain of a man.
“Oh goodie,” Danneel squealed out of nowhere.
Jensen jumped a foot. “Dear lord, I’m putting a bell on you. What has you so pleased?”
Danneel smiled prettily. She had known him since high school. She acted like she knew all his secrets. He acted like she didn’t. She was more right than he was, but he still had a few that she knew nothing of. He’d like to keep it that way.
Unfortunately, she read his face like it was the large print Dr. Seuss.
“New boy?” she said happily, thrilled as always when he had found a new crush. In Texas there had been many crushes, and proportionally less dates.
His jaw dropped.
“You get a look on your face when you are thinking about some guy’s abs or tight ass,” Danneel explained. “Working in a rehab gym might have been a bad internship choice, I foresee more crushes and a whole lot more heartache. So which tight ass has your attention? Staff?”
Jensen swallowed, not quick enough to deny.
“The only possibilies are the blonde lifeguard or the new tall piece of man working the fitness area,” Danneeel said, her grin growing. “And I’m sure as hell that it isn’t Chad, so that just leaves the new guy, who is one hot slice of shaggy haired man.”
Jensen attempted to regain his composure and crossed his arms.
Danneel clapped. “Oh, he’s so pretty! I’m going to go get info. We’ll see about this one. I’m so excited for us all. I’ve gotta go finish my work out and get to work. Ta-ta my darling. I’ll get you more scoop!”
Jensen closed his eyes. She was a busy body spy, and damned good at it. He wasn’t going to protest, though. First, it would do no good and second, part of him wanted to know about the kid that he had really cared about and third, part of him hadn’t stopped humming since the brief body contact he had with Jared this morning.
All of it was quite confusing, but he had spent the last six years stuffing down a whole lot of feelings.
He was really good at it by now.
But it was as if that briefest of contact was enough to break apart the carefully constructed reserve that he had built for himself. He forgot how to pretend that the impossible hadn’t existed.
“Jay-Man,” Chad said strutting into the fitness room wearing nothing but his Speedo.
“Chad,” Jared said putting his head in his hands. “I’m pretty sure you’re underdressed. Please don’t get me fired in my first week.”
Chad gave him a most incredulous look.
“Hi,” a bight cheery voice said with a full force of perky.
Jared looked over. There stood a woman with a sports bra and tight pants. Her outfight left just as much to the imagination as Chad’s Speedo.
Jared just stared. He knew who she was. She was Jensen’s best friend. It was as if suddenly Jared was being inidated by the fact that Jensen Ackles did indeed exist.
“I’m Danneel,” she said happily. “I’m here a lot and I thought that I’d introduce myself.”
“I’m Chad,” Chad said stepping forward in his full, partially naked glory. “He’s gay. I’m not.”
Danneel’s face didn’t move a muscle and she ignored Chad’s very existence. Somehow Jared felt as if something happened behind her eyes. They got even more sparkling.
“Well, it is lovely to meet you,” she said her white teeth gleaming and she seemed to give Jared a meaningful look. Which was odd because usually the gay thing was a downer for girls.
Jared watched her go without saying a word, but feeling like he had told her quite a lot.
“She ignores me, she totally wants me,” Chad said with full confidence.
Jared looked at Chad, who was pretty much his life long sidekick.
Chad had asked to trade his plain milk for Jared’s chocolate in kindergarten. Then Chad had taken the chocolate milk without waiting for an answer, all the while extolling how chocolate milk would stunt his growth. That had begun a long friendship. After almost fourteen years Jared never let him forget the reason why Jared was so much taller was directly due to Chad. Chad bore it like he bore everything - with complete obliviousness to reality.
“Of course she does Chad,” Jared said with a fake smile, knowing full well that pushing Chad at his attractions made for really really fun times. He might as well make the summer living under his parent’s roof a little interesting.
Then his smile faded, because he realized that under his work roof was Jensen Ackles.
Jensen Ackles, who he wasn’t supposed to know.
He knew the freckles over Jensen’s hips, he knew the shapes of Jensen’s toenails, he knew the lines on his palms. He knew it better than he knew his own.
He had been in Jensen’s body; he had been in his space. He had listened to Jensen’s music and to Jensen telling him all the details of his life. He knew that Jensen had done the same, as little as that was worth when he was thirteen.
He didn’t want to see Jensen Ackles ever again.
Except he did more than anything. It was an itch that would never go away.
Jensen was managing to do the minimum to stay present and with his clients. It almost was a losing battle. He walked out of the back rooms where the physical therapy offices were. He was going to take a walk to clear his muddled head.
Of course there was Danneel, leaning on the reception desk, most likely gossiping with the girl there. When she saw him, she jumped up and down and bounced to Jensen.
“New hot guy who you totally have a crush on is gay!” Danneel said in a decibel level that was the opposite of the professional that Jensen was trying to cultivate. He looked around, praying nobody heard that.
Thankfully nobody was around.
“Don’t you have work?” Jensen sighed tiredly. He was never going out with Steve and Chris again, he was too old to deal with this kind of thing partially hung over. He was pretty sure that he would never have to deal with anything like this again, but he was really prepared to quit them just to make sure.
Of course he was more than ready to blame the alcohol instead of little Jared Padalecki.
“I’m a real estate agent,” Danneel said with a grin. “I work on my own hourly schedule.”
“Yes, yes,” Jensen said, pushing her out of the door. “I wouldn’t want you to be late in making those huge commissions.”
“You’re all heart,” she laughed, slapping at him. “I’m going to go, but seriously talk to him. He’s super cute.”
“Just because he’s gay doesn’t meant that I’m going to like him,” Jensen said patiently. He had had this conversation many, many times with many, many people who seemed to think differently.
Danneel planted her feet and put her hands on her hips. “Oh no you don’t, Jensen, I haven’t actually heard him speak, but I’m pretty sure that one is your type, or could be your type for some summer lovin’.”
“I have an appointment,” Jensen said, turning back to the rehab rooms. It was more than an obvious lie to both of them.
“You dig him, I know it,” she yelled.
Jensen tried not to cringe at how right she was, but he kept on walking.
Jared was done at three. He packed his bag and prepared to run away to his parent’s house and try to figure out how to build a strategy to talk to Jensen. Something he hadn’t done in his own body ever.
He needed strategy.
Actually he needed a plane ticket to Bali and a new identity because he was pretty sure that he could absolutely not do this.
But realistically a strategy would have to do.
Jared left the gym and made a beeline for his car.
And he realized just how much fate enjoyed messing with any kind of best-laid plans that he had.
There sitting on a bench outside, eating an apple, was Jensen Ackles.
Jensen looked up at him.
Jared tried not to sway a little. There was something like gravity in Jensen’s eyes.
“Hey Jared,” Jensen said. “It’s been a long time.”
The first thing was that he could feel Jensen say his name, it crept down his spine and he had to resist a shudder.
The second was that he was in no way ready for this.
Jared wasn’t proud of what he did next, but Jensen looked at him and all of the sudden Jared felt thirteen again.
He ran.
It had begun with the church tag sale.
Jared was looking at something on one of the tables, in later days he could never quite say what it was he was looking at. He and Jensen had never pinpointed what it was that had caused what happened.
Jared had reached out a hand to touch items on the table; he was a tactile touchy child. That was when Jensen Ackles had shown up to pick up his sister. Mackenzie Ackles was two years younger than Jared and was her big brother’s darling.
Jared had seen Jensen, heard his older brother Jeff curse him, but there was an ease at which Jensen carried himself that Jared envied at the moment. Jensen was everything that his gawky, short, spastic self wasn’t.
That was the first half.
A little later, Jensen had followed his kid sister around. He had picked up a few things on the table Jared had been standing at when something shiny caught his attention. That was when he caught sight of Jared Padalecki. The kid was exited and free. There was something about his unconstrained manner that made Jensen smile. He hadn’t been lucky enough to be enthusiastic about anything in awhile. There was so much pressure in his life.
He had left soon after this passing thought, but that was the second half.
The next day they had been in each other’s skins.
~
Jensen woke up in a room that wasn’t his, in a body that was much smaller. He got up and looked in the mirror.
He should have been freaked out.
However, he just stared at the reflection in the mirror.
He felt calmer than he had ever felt, of course it happened when the world suddenly went crazy and he woke up in Jared Padalecki’s body
~
Jared woke to a phone ringing. Which was odd. His parents wouldn’t get him a cell phone until high school and absolutely were not paying to have another phone put into his room.
He reached out a hand and woefully misjudged the nightstand, which didn’t seem to be in the right place.
He sat up.
He looked at his now very long arms; he looked down at his torso, which had become much more developed than last night. He caught sight of six-pack abs and morning wood.
His brother had told him that he would hit a growth spurt and everything would change, but this was a little ridiculous.
He picked up the phone ignoring most of that, hoping the person on the other end of the phone line would have some kind of answers.
Like who he was, because Jared Padalecki had never had a freckle in his life, and now he was covered in them.
“Hi,” Jared said and he was a little distracted, because he did not sound like that; although he was a little in love with the voice creating his words.
“Jared, it’s Jensen Ackles,” the voice said in a rush, it was a voice Jared easily recognized as his own, although it sounded extremely panicked. “My mom will be coming up to your room in a minute. Tell her you don’t feel well, and you caught whatever Chris had last week. They’ll leave for church in twenty minutes. Then call your house, ask for you.”
The phone went dead.
Jared blinked.
That explained both everything and absolutely nothing.
Jared had no idea what Chris had had last weekend, but if the rumors were true it was probably something like a hangover. He had seen enough of his brother’s to know what that looked like.
Plus he did feel kind of sick.
Then a strange woman came into his room and cooed over him as he faked sick. He accepted it, it seemed the easiest way out of this situation.
Donna Ackles was a little over protective, Jared felt like she was also a little naïve his mother would have be immediately suspicious if he even hinted he was something like hung over. His brother’s hang overs usually had him doing chores in the hot Texas sun.
When she left Jared sat back and stared at the ceiling and tried not to think anything. He wasn’t willing to think and have his mind explode; something he was pretty sure he was on the brink of.
He pinched the skin that was now his, it hurt. He couldn’t stop moving his limbs. He tried not to think about what was happening to him, because things like them didn’t happen to people.
So he pinched his arm again and then looked down at his hands, the ones that weren’t his. He flexed them. He lifted the blanket and looked down at the body.
And freaked out more.
Things like this didn’t happen. Nothing like this ever happened to any one. This was insane. This was ridiculous. This had to be a dream. He had to lie in the bed and wait and he felt like he was going to crawl out of his skin.
By the time he heard the car leave he was quite sure that he had lost his mind.
He had nothing left to do but pick up the cell phone. He dialed the number to his house; it was familiar and strange at the same time.
“Hi Mrs. Padalecki,” he said when his mother picked up, knowing manners were the only way to get past his mother. “Is Jared available to speak?”
“May I tell him who is calling?” his mother asked.
“Jensen Ackles,” he said. “I’m from the youth group.”
“Oh, hi Jensen, just let me check,” his mother said.
He heard a muffled sound and then a full mouth speaking.
“’bot frekin thyme.”
All of the sudden the freak out dissipated. He heard the voice and he knew that he wasn’t alone.
“What?” Jared said confused.
There was a swallowing noise.
“My god,” said the voice. “I have never been so hungry in my life. How do you eat so much? This shouldn’t be possible.”
Jared heard the sound of himself chewing. He was a little repulsed by it.
“I’m a growing boy,” Jared defended, feeling defensive and nervous.
“I’m sure,” Jared heard his voice say. “I’ve seen your brother and now your father, the sky doesn’t stand a chance.”
Jared grinned, and then looked down at the body that he was in that wasn’t his.
“So today is kind of a weird day,” Jared his fingers nervously tapping the bedspread.
“Yep,” Jensen replied, sounding like he wasn’t eating at this moment.
“So umm,” Jared began, scratching at his stomach and then caressing the abs there. He made a mental note to start doing sit-ups when he got back into his body, because these things were awesome.
Jensen was silent.
“So, I’m not sure if this is going to be any help or anything,” Jared said, because babbling was most definitely his forte. “I’ve read a lot of comic books and this has come up. I mean I know that comic books aren’t life or anything, but I don’t know anything better. I don’t know if you know what is going on but the thing is that when people in comic books find themselves like this they have a thing to do and I’m thinking that maybe we’re supposed to learn some kind of lesson.”
There was a pause.
“I should be laughing,” Jensen said finally. “But that makes the most sense of anything.”
Jared puffed up with pride.
Then he deflated.
“I still don’t know what the hell we’re supposed to do,” Jared added in a small voice.
“Well, all the good I’m for is eating a box of cereal, so you’re more helpful than I am at this point,” Jensen told him.
“Wash your bowl and put it in the dishwasher,” Jared said automatically. “Mom will be pissed if you don’t.”
Jensen laughed. “I was wondering why your room was so clean. Your mother seems to run a tight ship.”
Jared looked around Jensen’s room. It wasn’t slob like, but there were things out of place. Jared kind of itched to put the books and CDs where they belonged. His mother probably ruined him for life.
A beep happened on his phone; Jared looked down and saw a new text. He had no idea what he was supposed to do. He was far too curious for his own good. He opened it.
“Hey, some guy named Ian asked if you were still on for tonight,” Jared told him before thinking of how rude that was.
He heard his own voice squeak back. “Fuck.”
“Don’t let mom hear you,” Jared immediately hissed. “I am probably going to be back in that life soon and I don’t need her to suspect that junior high is corrupting me.”
Jared heard a rustling.
“Jensen?” Jared said.
“Just, just let me think,” Jensen said, his voice muffled by the static over the line
“Are you in my closet?” Jared said, slowly.
Jensen paused. “How did you know?”
“It’s the furthest point from the base,” Jared said. “Why are you in my closet?”
Jensen let out a dry laugh that was a little bit a sob. “Okay kid, you’re in my life and I’m going to trust you with my secrets, because this is something I am really trying not to get fucked up.”
“Language,” Jared said automatically, mind racing to figure it out.
“Kid, you’re going to let me get this out before your mother hears me talking and really thinks that school is corrupting you,” Jensen hissed.
“Jared,” Jared said.
“What?” Jensen screeched.
“I’m Jared Tristan Padalecki,” Jared said. “Don’t call me kid.”
“I’m gay,” Jensen interrupted.
Jared’s mind stopped. This was supposed to be a big deal or something, but it really didn’t mean much to him. His momma had raised him to treat everyone the same. He was really sure that Jensen being gay was just part of that whole thing.
“Okay, so is this your boyfriend?” Jared asked, leaning over the edge of the bed, he peeked underneath it. He was wondering if Jensen had porn. He was curious about what gay porn looked like. He had always been far too curious for his own good. “I can call him and tell him I’m sick or you’re sick or whatever.”
“He’s not my boyfriend and yes, but no just text him,” Jensen said, warm gratefulness oozing from his voice. “I have an ex and this one was to make him jealous and I really don’t want to bring you into what was going to go on tonight.”
“Ooo… I could so have a gay scandal tonight,” Jared teased.
“Please don’t,” Jensen said, his voice strained.
“I was just kidding,” Jared instantly calmed.
“I’ve just spent a lot of time trying to make sure that nobody knows,” Jensen said in a rush.
“I’m not going to tell,” Jared assured.
“Thank you,” Jensen said. “I mean I’m not scared, but it’s my deal and I don’t want someone else coming out for me.
“So you’re hiding in my closet,” Jared giggled in spite of himself.
“You’re odd,” Jensen said.
“Whatcha mean?” Jared said feeling that itchy sense that he had done something wrong with the joking and laughing.
Jensen paused for a moment and Jared was a little worried that he had offended Jensen into hanging up or that the phone had dropped the call.
When Jensen spoke a gain it was low and hesitant. “I’ve never told anyone that I was gay, or that I like guys before.”
Jared tried to figure out what the right thing to do was, unfortunately his mouth was ahead of his brain. “Should I be more scandalized? I could try again.”
“No ki-Jared,” Jensen said. “That was pretty perfect.”
“So maybe we should talk or something,” Jared said. “Figure out how to do this thing.”
“That sounds good,” Jensen replied. “My parents won’t be home for a bit.”
“Just do me a favor Jensen,” Jared said, a little proud that Jensen Ackles, the school’s god was talking to him like he was a normal person, not an eighth grader. “Get out of the closet, I can’t hear much of what you are saying.”
Jared was really not proud of running away from Jensen.
In that moment speaking to Jensen Ackles face to face was just something he couldn’t do.
He had never actually talked to Jensen; at least not with them being in the bodies that they had been born in.
Jared tried to convince himself for a second that they had nothing in common, that there was no reason to want to speak to Jensen. They were very different people who had very different lives.
But even Jared couldn’t make himself buy it.
Jared really didn’t want to have a mental breakdown at this moment and he absolutely could not talk to Jensen about anything right now and he needed to do a whole lot of talking about Jensen.
It was really the way that he had avoided the mental breakdown for six years.
There was only one place that he could go to for this kind of thing.
He went to the bar that he had first gone to in Jensen’s body and had gone to occasionally ever since.
Today he snuck in the back and sat on one of the stools in the corner. It was dark and shadowy. Jared was familiar enough and never was harassed, even when he had bellied up to the bar when he was thirteen.
The happy hour crowd was just coming in; it was still quiet enough though. Jared slunk in the corner as much as his frame would allow him.
“When are you going to turn twenty one?” a voice said, putting a coke down in front of him.
This was routine and familiar and Jared felt a little of the edge sliding off of him.
“I’m probably not going to make it. Hopefully I’m going to die of embarrassment any moment now,” Jared sighed without looking up, he knew well enough who would be there.
There was silence. Jared finally looked up and was welcomed by the brim of Christian Kane’s white cowboy hat. This had once been Chris’ mother’s bar and Chris had worked there since long before it was legal for him to do so. Now Chris ran the place and he doled out beer and played guitar on the stage, and for Jared he doled out mostly helpful advice while plying him with soda.
Chris raised an eyebrow at Jared’s morose face and nodded. “That bad?”
“You always said this would come,” Jared said almost sullenly.
“I’ve said a lot of things over the past six years,” Chris said, trying not to smile.
“Don’t be difficult, you know he’s in town,” Jared said.
“You’ve seen him off and on for the past six years,” Chris pointed out with an irritatingly slow drawl.
“He talked to me, it wasn’t just me ducking him,” Jared retorted.
“And pigs are flying, I thought this day would never come,” Chris said. “What did you say?”
Jared put his forehead down on the bar and his voice came out muffled. “I ran away.”
“Jared, you are kidding me?” Chris chastised. “I’ve watched you grow up and you’re a real good kid. You’ve had a few issues, but you have had one problem in the last six years, one thing that you haven’t gotten over. One thing that you mention every single time you come to talk to me. We’ll start in one direction but we always end in the same exact place.”
Jared didn’t lift his head. He knew good and well what he always brought up.
“Say it was me,” Chris said suddenly. “Be in my shoes. Say your best friend who you had first met when you were three years old and his mother brought him home from the hospital started acting real weird. Say he found himself in over his head with a pretty nasty guy. Say you stepped in. Say the best friend starting bawling and telling an outrageous story. Say you chalk it up to too much drink and for two days you forget. Say then this little kid shows up and introduces himself as the best friend who I had been with the last week, and said kid comes every once in a while to pour his heart out to you, ending up some how always talking about the best friend.”
“I am aware of the situation,” Jared said lifting his head heavily. “I was there.”
“So if the roles were changed what would you tell me?” Chris asked, his arms crossed.
Jared cocked his head and looked at Chris.
“He told you shit he never told me,” Chris said softly. “He trusted you, so quickly and easily he trusted you.”
“Well he ran the fuck away from me real quick,” Jared muttered.
“Language, little Pad,” Chris mocked.
Jared inhaled and just let it out. “He walked away, he listened to me tell him I kissed his ex, that I liked it, he listened to me talk in and out and upside down all my massive confusion about my life and my fears growing up, and he walked away like the whole week had never happened.”
“And I inherited you,” Chris reminded him.
“You’ve been good enough,” Jared sulked.
“Yeah, cause I had to do it with Jensen,” Chris told him, as always walking around the landmine. “You’re so much easier and you have much less self-hatred. Plus you are willing to tell me about that week. It’s kind of fun to listen to your little dramas and behind the scenes college ball. Although the amount I know about gay dating is sadly great in proportion to how much gay sex I learn about, which is almost none.”
“Perv,” Jared muttered.
“Hey, if I have to listen ad naseaum about the intricacies of finding out if he likes you and then the mating dance of the adolescent male, I should get more juicy stuff,” Chris pointed out. “I’ve had to read ‘Seventeen’ in the doctor’s office so I know what to tell you two about your sad love lives, because I’ve never done that prissy ‘does he like me’ shit.”
Jared reached out a hand and tugged on his brim, “You’re the best hag ever.”
Chris swatted him away. “Shut your mouth.”
Jared grinned.
“I should have kicked you out when you came in and could barely see over the counter,” Chris muttered.
“Yes, you should have,” Jared told him. “But you’ve listened and helped for years so now I need you to continue your helpful ways.”
“Every time you come to me worrying about something and then it always turns into once again bemoaning Jensen Ackles and you trying to prod me into telling you details about this. Everytime I tell you the same thing,”
“Quit whining and talk to Jensen,” Jared filled in, once again morose.
“Yep,” Chris said. “I’ve given you his phone number, e-mail address, Skype name, yet you won’t. I mean you were in his body once, you talked to him all day every day. Since you haven’t found your balls, and I’m in serious question if you ever had some, now I have more advice.”
“Thank god, because the old stuff just wasn’t working,” Jared remarked.
“Since you won’t listen to the good, healthy stuff that would actually work, try some coy shit,” Chris said. “Start from the beginning. Don’t start from ‘I was in your body for a week when I was a kid.’ Introduce yourself. Pretend you are the strangers both of you pretend you are.”
Jared thought about that for a moment.
“I could probably do that,” he said with a little bit of confirmation.
“Well duh,” Chris said superiorly. “You’ve been doing it for six years. Just don’t think that this is going to be the easier, softer way. You are making this so much more complex than it needs to be. You could just do things my way and that would be so much easier.”
“Well apparently,” Jared said. “I’m incapable of doing things the easy way.”
Two