005//

[ttly_not_batman]

 I am afraid that what I do will get everyone around me hurt.

I am afraid that one day, I won't like what I've become, but I won't be able to stop, afraid that I'm spiraling out of control.

I am afraid that I want to stay in the City, because it means not facing my life back in Gotham--and those who are no longer a part of it.

I'm a hypocrite.  I can

Comments

[venomouselle]

There are two solutions: one, you stop caring or two, you stop having people to care about.

I personally find the first option to be the most effective.

[ttly_not_batman]

Neither is very appealing, though.

[venomouselle]

Think of the lesser evil if it means something to you.

[ttly_not_batman]

Either option would mean that they stop meaning something to me, which I... can't do.

1/2

[theotokos]

[theotokos]

Too bad, shit happens. But if you're recklessly doing something stupid that involves hurting others? Well...

All of us have to return home, at some point in time, there's no point in dreading it.

[ttly_not_batman]

It's not something I have a choice in. At least, I don't feel I have a choice.

I'm not dreading it necessarily, but, I'm certainly not complaining about my presence here.

[theotokos]

Oh? What do you know, you're not as deep as a saucer, but there's still no excuse to not and try to be cautious.

Well, that's a rarity.

*action*

[badassbutler]

Alfred placed a cup of tea at Bruce's elbow, the very picture of unobtrusiveness.

"Doubts, sir?"

*action*

[ttly_not_batman]

Fears, Alfred. But, I guess they fall into the same category, to some extent. [looks down at the tea and nods slightly to thank him for it, but doesn't touch it] Rachel was killed because I am Batman. Harvey-- [he stops himself before he gets upset by it.]

*action*

[badassbutler]

"Sir, Harvey was not your fault." He didn't want to touch on the fact that he wasn't sure who "Rachel was, but he knew there was a long list of people who could match the description. "It will never be your fault. You tried to save him, did everything you could to keep him in the light. You can't save everyone, not even Superman can."

*action*

[ttly_not_batman]

Maybe not, but I could have done something. The Joker got to him because I failed, I should have... should have found a way to stop him. [shakes his head, because he knows that he's just arguing a useless point, but he feels bad, dammit, and he's not willing to forgive himself.]

*action*

[indigo_justice]

[Steph walks in, looking a bit concerned before sitting down next to Bruce.]

Yo.
You know, Gotham looks up to you, when I'm from. You're a real hero.

*action*

[ttly_not_batman]

[doesn't look at her, he's busy wallowing in his own self-pity, sorry]

How can I save a city when I can't even save myself from what I'm becoming?

*action*

[indigo_justice]

...
[She sighs.]

I don't know, boss. I don't know.
...You know that, in my time...I let you down. Big time. And I almost got killed, I almost destroyed Gotham....to me, you were a hero, and I never felt good enough for you.

*action*

[ttly_not_batman]

[looks at her now, very intently] ...The only way you could let me down is if you lose yourself to this... "job." I'm afraid it's happening to me already, and I don't want to see someone inspired by that and wind up like me. My path is not one I would wish on anyone else.

Your safety needs to come first and foremost, always. There are people who care about you, Steph, you can't forget what it would do to them if you were hurt.

[unhexed]

I think nearly everyone is afraid sometimes, with a few notable exceptions.

Are you okay?

[ttly_not_batman]

I will be. This curse is just making me think about the things that... I'd rather not consider.

Thank you for your concern.

[unhexed]

That certainly seems to be going around. I'm sorry to hear it.

Sure.

[ttly_not_batman]

I was bound to be affected eventually, but I would have preferred it wasn't this one.

I'm Bruce Wayne. And, you are?