interlude: a long stretch of present
chapter one
chapter two
chapter three
chapter four
chapter five
chapter six
chapter seven
chapter eight
chapter nine
interlude: from the outside looking in
chapter eleven
chapter twelve; part one
chapter twelve; part two
chapter thirteen
I wake up each morning and wish for the unattainable tomorrow
Trapped in the twilight, in the half-dark
And the spring tide of resolute, gracing the shores of strength -
Sands of time slip between my toes
I take a breath
...inhale...exhale...
Take the time to steady, clench my fists, kiss away the tears
Hold still
Sometimes there’s something cold behind the smile
Icy resentment, a scattering from the Snow Queen
Think of it as a gift
The dissociation that thaws in spring
Melts in summer heat
ipse sub arboreis vitabam frondibus aestum -
fronde sub arborea sed tamen aestus erat.
We’ll stay in the garden, watch the seasons change together
Something beautiful, right?
It’s what we deserve
In the morning, the evening, the stagelight sunlight
Neither of us will ever be the rockstar, the celebrated victim of fame of our childhood dreams
But we’ll be together
The air runs in circles around us
You remain mine, despite lovely longing’s strength
I will keep you safe, and I will keep you close
And the rain will make the flowers grow
Or something like that
We can stay like this forever
We’re intertwined; your self, my self, inseparable
Remember this:
The past is the present for as long as you carry it with you
-
Translation of the latin -
"I myself was avoiding the heat beneath the leaves of the trees, but indeed there was heat beneath the leaves of the trees."
- Taken from Amores 3.5, Ovid
chapter fifteen