Man, God may have been on the piss before, but I'm pretty sure he's either chundering up his kebab now (watches giant tomato bits fall from sky) or he's pouring the last of his beer down the flusher, cos this isn't even funny.

Oh man, he just farted. That's gonna be a smelly one. *crash boom* I love thunder storms. =D

Funny name of the day:

Santaporn

I'm not joking, either.

How do you know when elephants have been having rampant sex in your garden?

The grass is flattened and all the bin liners are missing.

*cracks up again* Took me a while to get that one, but I love it.

Incidentally, I think this needs serious checking out. I haven't dared open it at work, but from dissertare's description, it's defintely proof that Melissa ( Read more... )

Used to be a man who owned a bar out in the middle of nowhere. Not too many people came to the bar, so he was trying to think of a good gimmick to get people to come. It so happened he was watching T.V. at the time and the parade for the circus was on. As the elephants went by he remembered reading somewhere that elephants don't laugh ( Read more... )

Oh man. That just beats all - I just found a contact in the database called Mr Dikshit.

*cracks up more*

Ok, tell me:

Poll What should I spend my money on?

33. Drei-und-dreissig. Drüü'e'drüüs. Trente-trois. Grad. Degrees. Celsius.

Why the hell am I sitting in an office with a cold, when I could be outside sitting at the lake with a cold beer, going for a dip and kicking a football around.

*grumbles*

( Read more... )

Philip P.
Charles W.
Bill
Anthony J.
Andrew
Greg M.
Tim
Lino
Greg
Bob
Christopher D
Simon
John
Shaun
Murray
Ray
Bruce

^^^^ A list of Aussie names, as pulled from one of my client lists. Cracked me up, when I realised it's true that you can pick an Aussie by his name.

Does anyone else ever have really unsatisfying stretches? Where you stretch and stretch until everything hurts, and when you collapse, you feel just like you did before. It's so annoying.

Dentist later. Fear for me. =(