[FIC]: Haru's Story
Jin’s eyes suddenly seek for the clear blue skies over him. The physician’s words keep ringing on his head that it hurts. He keeps ignoring it but when memories keep playing back like a movie in his head, it crushes him. Losing someone you love so much was more than losing the life of your own. Is it really true that Kame’s living on his edge?
“Ne,” he mumbled over, “Answer me.” He hoped someone over there could respond. But then he huff a breath, he’s nothing but an ill-fated man. He couldn’t have something he could call his for the rest of his life. Everything on him was losing in just the shortest of time.
A tear drop was falling on his cheek. He never felt this disappointed for himself. For everything.
***
“This is now ours?” The younger was just as excited as a puppy waggling his tail when they entered the house.
“Uhm, I asked Junno-san to let us stay for the meantime while we’re still searching for the house.” Explaining, he put the luggage down as he looked the younger, wondering if Kazuya did ever remember this house?
“Junno? Who’s Junno?”
“He’s your friend, a very close friend.” He said while receiving the same look Kazuya had on his face, very confused, when Jin was trying to mention Junno and Tat-chan to at least remember them.
“Ah, Okay.” Kazuya said, like he got no interest to the names except Akanishi Jin. “Hey Jin, let’s fix our stuffs so we could rest.” He yawned and Jin ruffled his head. “Okay, let’s go.”
“Un,” he happily nodded. Jin began to lift some bigger luggage while Kazuya also got a single small luggage on his hand and nagged about it because Jin was faster in getting the bigger ones into his hands and not giving him the equal share. Jin just laughed about it and proceeds to the second floor.
Kazuya pouted, lifting the luggage “This is so unfair- ow!“
Jin was upstairs, settling their luggage when he heard the loud thud in the living room “Kazu? Are you alright?”
“Yeah, I just dropped this luggage right onto to my foot.” Kazuya yelled so he could be heard by Jin from the upstairs.
When lunch came, their things still left untouched inside their bags. Kazuya pulled some cupped noodles in his bag and prepare for him and Jin-it’s something he could only prepare by now yet Jin liked it. There’s nothing Kazuya gave to him that Jin didn’t like and it made Kazuya very happy.
“So,” Jin slurped his noodles “How’s your foot?”
“Fine.” He replied “After you take care of it so thank you,” he smiled, raising his bandaged toe to Jin.
By that, Jin’s face got hotter as his noodles that he got flushed in his compliment.
“Jin…I saw some picture of a little girl in the other room, who is she?” Kazuya asked after another slurped.
“Haruka,” Jin retorted “You remember her?”
Kazuya shook his head.
Jin sighed, he looked closely Kazuya into his eyes. They are so beautiful like the sunshine. “Will you tell me what are you thinking right now? What are the memories you had left?” Each day, Jin was asking the very same question ever since the younger woke up remembering nothing but him. He was just curious of what’s on Kazuya’s mind.
“Hm,” Kazuya looked above like he was seeing his past in bubble of memory, like the cartoons he watched before when they are remembering something. Jin couldn’t stop smiling in Kazu’s cuteness. It didn’t last long when the younger lit up like a bulb, he grinned “You. I only remember you.”
Same answer. Jin commented at the back of his head “What about me? when was the first memory you had with me?”
“At the hospital, when I saw you alone in the playground.” He excitedly answered.
Nothing changed. He said on his mind again “Okay, so close your eyes.” Jin held the younger’s smaller hands and Kazuya said as he told. He listened to Jin’s voice speaking “Imagine the memory you had in the hospital…”
“uh-huh.”
“Did you see other people than me?”
“Yes.”
“Do you remember their names?”
“No.”
“Did you really remember nothing else but me?”
“How about you? Do you remember how many times did you ever ask me the same questions?”
They both laughed.
“Okay, I’m sorry.” Jin stop his laughs, stroking Kazu’s hands with his thumbs “I’m-I just still didn’t know how did that happen.” He said. After Kazuya wake up, he and Kazu’s friends were still confused of how Kazuya’s mind works now.
But the only explanation Junno got to himself was Kazuya’s memories somehow got reversed in some point. He chose to only remember Jin above the consequences he might forgotten everything which is happening right now. Any more scientific and concrete reasoning was out of their reach however, they’re so happy to see him more likely, healthy now, though having some adjustments too since they have to treat him as delicate as Jin did before for they’re a total stranger in Kazuya’s mind.
Right after Jin tucked him to bed at night, He opened his laptop and reconnect to Junno and Tat-chan whose on Brazil right now.
“Hey,” Jin greeted as the connection was already settled.
Junno waved at him. He looked so happy. “So how’s brazil?” Jin asked.
“Fine. Anyway, Tat-chan and I are still on process of fixing our stuffs so if you noticed our apartment…” Jin smiled when he saw Tat-chan on Junno’s background getting grumpy on cleaning and scrubbing the corners of their apartment which is a natural thing for both of them to see.
“Anyway, congratulations, I heard from Tat-chan that your papers are already good to go.” He said “You’re getting married in a week.”
“Yeah that’s right. Thank you.”
The curve on Jin’s lips went down slowly, “I’m sorry.”
“What’s wrong?”
“I know you want him there to witness your wedding but…”
“Yeah… and we want you also here, Jin but let’s just let him be. You know that it might bring him shock when we forced him to places he never gotten before,” Junno tried cheering Jin up.
“Yeah…” Jin replied and there’s a silent between the line.
“Anyway, How’s Kazuya?” Jin saw Tat-chan running behind Junno when his fiancé mentioned his cousin’s name.
“Same.” By what Jin meant, the two on the other line nodded sadly. It seems hopeless for them to get remembered again but then, Junno smiled to cheer Jin up “It’s okay, let’s just give him so time. Jin, will you promise me one thing?”
“Yeah?”
“Will you remain strong for him? I know I’m not a right person to tell you this but you know that Kazuya is in…” Junno stopped. He didn’t know the appropriate term of dying he should use. It feels like a double edged sword, wounding every one of them, including Kazuya, who was probably, forgotten about his condition.
“I-I know..”
“You are the only one he could lean on now. He’s nothing without you, Jin so please be strong. We won’t lose hope and I will still find ways to cure him. I will contact Amane-san and I want you to visit her there atleast once a week, she will help you regarding Kazuya’s condition.”
“Thank you so much Jin,” Junno said and before turning the connection off, Tat-chan had some words to say for his beloved cousin. “Say goodnight to Kazuya, for us.” There are tears in his eyes. It was the last thing Jin saw when he joined Kazuya in bed.
Jin smiled to the fullest as he watched him sleep. Kazuya was facing to him, inches close. Jin had a satisfying view of his face. His thin brows above his wonderful eyelids were fully detailed in his eyes. His pointed nose and pinkish lips that he had kissed for countless times. He’s so beautiful that he had to questioned himself if he ever deserved be in the arms of such an angel like him. Did he really deserve him? His love?
“Am I really worth no to be forgotten?” he asked, hoping Kazuya could answer him right now.
He raised his hand to touch his wonderful face but something’s wrong…
He’s freezing.
“Kazuya?” he gently shook the younger one but didn’t get any response. He’s heartbeat turned faster as he tried to seek the hot air that should be coming out from his nose, but there’s none.
"Make his last days a happy one Jin, he deserves it."
His eyes got filled with tears. Maybe no, he was not worthy not to be forgotten. Maybe this was just the oblivion he only wanted for himself. He wasn’t living in reality-he was in his oblivion. Kazuya was already dead. He was just selfishly forcing him to live for him. Kazuya was already gone and this was all Jin’s fault.
Jin hugged the cold body against his chest as he kissed the top of Kazuya’s head “Please stay.”
~
Jin forced his shut eyes to open, hurting his head in the sunlight. Jin groaned and later on the headache subside, wiping grains of sweat mixed with his tears on his face. He had dreamt something about him dying. It’s the first week of their stay here and also the first week of him having nightmares about Kazuya.
Jin hugged his knees on their bed.
“Jin..”
Jin had to wipe the upcoming tears on his eyes as he felt the other side of the bed moved. Kazuya was still there. Must be strong in Kazuya’s eyes-he wanted to be the strongest Kazuya could ever lean on. Yet he asked himself how will he do that when the only person he was leaning on was also deteriorating?
He pushed himself down on their bed, wrapping his arms to the younger one and kissed his head. “Yes baby?”
“I want to go somewhere…” he mumbled. He eyes were closed, but Jin was sure that he’s awake already.
“Okay… where do you want to?” Jin whispered in his ear as Kazuya giggled, taking Jin closer to his body. Kazuya feels so warm. So far from the cold, lifeless body he had in his arms.
“Wherever. As long as I’m with you, I’m fine.” Kazuya replied.
“We should go to Haruka.”
And they did. Jin brought Kazuya in Haruka’s grave. They spend their packed lunch to talk about things Kazuya forgotten about her.
Jin just re-told the story he heard from Kazuya and add some story of Junno to at least mention his name to Kazuya.
After that, both of them fell into silence, Kazuya rest his head on Jin’s shoulder as they let themselves feel the sea breeze. Jin hardly had the time to just sit somewhere near the sea to just think about how wonderful the place could be. Jin was amazed to the baby blue tinting the sky that was mirrored by the sea. Everything was filled with blue. Now he couldn’t understand how that word blue was just another word for sad when it brought him happiness.
“Jin.” He called “Why Haruka need to leave me?”
“I…” Jin thought for more appropriate answer but he just has none “I don’t know, maybe…”
“I promise…” Jin halted from talking when Kazuya mumbled, looking so true in his eyes “I will never leave you, Jin.” He said, then turned his gaze to the vast view of the sea. Jin watched him closely, the way his lips curved into smiled as he looked from afar, he could truly tell that Kazuya, won’t break that promise.
Jin smiled sweetly, holding his hands and join his lover looking in the distance “Then we will walk hand in hand.”
“Yes, I could feel that we will have a very very very loooonggg journey.”
“Yeah, we will.” He pulled Kazuya and kissed him to the lips.
With that, Jin feel the bliss.
part 1
~
a/n: Hello summer! <3 so I'm back again because I don't have class anymore. haha yet I still have duties, blah blah. Actually I had this chapter finished long time ago when I have vacants I just had the time to post this just now sorry xD
and the chapter 14 is up as well so I will have a double-update <3 ! I really got the feels to write recently which is a good sign for me :D
yaaayyyyy <3
“Ne,” he mumbled over, “Answer me.” He hoped someone over there could respond. But then he huff a breath, he’s nothing but an ill-fated man. He couldn’t have something he could call his for the rest of his life. Everything on him was losing in just the shortest of time.
A tear drop was falling on his cheek. He never felt this disappointed for himself. For everything.
***
“This is now ours?” The younger was just as excited as a puppy waggling his tail when they entered the house.
“Uhm, I asked Junno-san to let us stay for the meantime while we’re still searching for the house.” Explaining, he put the luggage down as he looked the younger, wondering if Kazuya did ever remember this house?
“Junno? Who’s Junno?”
“He’s your friend, a very close friend.” He said while receiving the same look Kazuya had on his face, very confused, when Jin was trying to mention Junno and Tat-chan to at least remember them.
“Ah, Okay.” Kazuya said, like he got no interest to the names except Akanishi Jin. “Hey Jin, let’s fix our stuffs so we could rest.” He yawned and Jin ruffled his head. “Okay, let’s go.”
“Un,” he happily nodded. Jin began to lift some bigger luggage while Kazuya also got a single small luggage on his hand and nagged about it because Jin was faster in getting the bigger ones into his hands and not giving him the equal share. Jin just laughed about it and proceeds to the second floor.
Kazuya pouted, lifting the luggage “This is so unfair- ow!“
Jin was upstairs, settling their luggage when he heard the loud thud in the living room “Kazu? Are you alright?”
“Yeah, I just dropped this luggage right onto to my foot.” Kazuya yelled so he could be heard by Jin from the upstairs.
When lunch came, their things still left untouched inside their bags. Kazuya pulled some cupped noodles in his bag and prepare for him and Jin-it’s something he could only prepare by now yet Jin liked it. There’s nothing Kazuya gave to him that Jin didn’t like and it made Kazuya very happy.
“So,” Jin slurped his noodles “How’s your foot?”
“Fine.” He replied “After you take care of it so thank you,” he smiled, raising his bandaged toe to Jin.
By that, Jin’s face got hotter as his noodles that he got flushed in his compliment.
“Jin…I saw some picture of a little girl in the other room, who is she?” Kazuya asked after another slurped.
“Haruka,” Jin retorted “You remember her?”
Kazuya shook his head.
Jin sighed, he looked closely Kazuya into his eyes. They are so beautiful like the sunshine. “Will you tell me what are you thinking right now? What are the memories you had left?” Each day, Jin was asking the very same question ever since the younger woke up remembering nothing but him. He was just curious of what’s on Kazuya’s mind.
“Hm,” Kazuya looked above like he was seeing his past in bubble of memory, like the cartoons he watched before when they are remembering something. Jin couldn’t stop smiling in Kazu’s cuteness. It didn’t last long when the younger lit up like a bulb, he grinned “You. I only remember you.”
Same answer. Jin commented at the back of his head “What about me? when was the first memory you had with me?”
“At the hospital, when I saw you alone in the playground.” He excitedly answered.
Nothing changed. He said on his mind again “Okay, so close your eyes.” Jin held the younger’s smaller hands and Kazuya said as he told. He listened to Jin’s voice speaking “Imagine the memory you had in the hospital…”
“uh-huh.”
“Did you see other people than me?”
“Yes.”
“Do you remember their names?”
“No.”
“Did you really remember nothing else but me?”
“How about you? Do you remember how many times did you ever ask me the same questions?”
They both laughed.
“Okay, I’m sorry.” Jin stop his laughs, stroking Kazu’s hands with his thumbs “I’m-I just still didn’t know how did that happen.” He said. After Kazuya wake up, he and Kazu’s friends were still confused of how Kazuya’s mind works now.
But the only explanation Junno got to himself was Kazuya’s memories somehow got reversed in some point. He chose to only remember Jin above the consequences he might forgotten everything which is happening right now. Any more scientific and concrete reasoning was out of their reach however, they’re so happy to see him more likely, healthy now, though having some adjustments too since they have to treat him as delicate as Jin did before for they’re a total stranger in Kazuya’s mind.
Right after Jin tucked him to bed at night, He opened his laptop and reconnect to Junno and Tat-chan whose on Brazil right now.
“Hey,” Jin greeted as the connection was already settled.
Junno waved at him. He looked so happy. “So how’s brazil?” Jin asked.
“Fine. Anyway, Tat-chan and I are still on process of fixing our stuffs so if you noticed our apartment…” Jin smiled when he saw Tat-chan on Junno’s background getting grumpy on cleaning and scrubbing the corners of their apartment which is a natural thing for both of them to see.
“Anyway, congratulations, I heard from Tat-chan that your papers are already good to go.” He said “You’re getting married in a week.”
“Yeah that’s right. Thank you.”
The curve on Jin’s lips went down slowly, “I’m sorry.”
“What’s wrong?”
“I know you want him there to witness your wedding but…”
“Yeah… and we want you also here, Jin but let’s just let him be. You know that it might bring him shock when we forced him to places he never gotten before,” Junno tried cheering Jin up.
“Yeah…” Jin replied and there’s a silent between the line.
“Anyway, How’s Kazuya?” Jin saw Tat-chan running behind Junno when his fiancé mentioned his cousin’s name.
“Same.” By what Jin meant, the two on the other line nodded sadly. It seems hopeless for them to get remembered again but then, Junno smiled to cheer Jin up “It’s okay, let’s just give him so time. Jin, will you promise me one thing?”
“Yeah?”
“Will you remain strong for him? I know I’m not a right person to tell you this but you know that Kazuya is in…” Junno stopped. He didn’t know the appropriate term of dying he should use. It feels like a double edged sword, wounding every one of them, including Kazuya, who was probably, forgotten about his condition.
“I-I know..”
“You are the only one he could lean on now. He’s nothing without you, Jin so please be strong. We won’t lose hope and I will still find ways to cure him. I will contact Amane-san and I want you to visit her there atleast once a week, she will help you regarding Kazuya’s condition.”
“Thank you so much Jin,” Junno said and before turning the connection off, Tat-chan had some words to say for his beloved cousin. “Say goodnight to Kazuya, for us.” There are tears in his eyes. It was the last thing Jin saw when he joined Kazuya in bed.
Jin smiled to the fullest as he watched him sleep. Kazuya was facing to him, inches close. Jin had a satisfying view of his face. His thin brows above his wonderful eyelids were fully detailed in his eyes. His pointed nose and pinkish lips that he had kissed for countless times. He’s so beautiful that he had to questioned himself if he ever deserved be in the arms of such an angel like him. Did he really deserve him? His love?
“Am I really worth no to be forgotten?” he asked, hoping Kazuya could answer him right now.
He raised his hand to touch his wonderful face but something’s wrong…
He’s freezing.
“Kazuya?” he gently shook the younger one but didn’t get any response. He’s heartbeat turned faster as he tried to seek the hot air that should be coming out from his nose, but there’s none.
"Make his last days a happy one Jin, he deserves it."
His eyes got filled with tears. Maybe no, he was not worthy not to be forgotten. Maybe this was just the oblivion he only wanted for himself. He wasn’t living in reality-he was in his oblivion. Kazuya was already dead. He was just selfishly forcing him to live for him. Kazuya was already gone and this was all Jin’s fault.
Jin hugged the cold body against his chest as he kissed the top of Kazuya’s head “Please stay.”
~
Jin forced his shut eyes to open, hurting his head in the sunlight. Jin groaned and later on the headache subside, wiping grains of sweat mixed with his tears on his face. He had dreamt something about him dying. It’s the first week of their stay here and also the first week of him having nightmares about Kazuya.
Jin hugged his knees on their bed.
“Jin..”
Jin had to wipe the upcoming tears on his eyes as he felt the other side of the bed moved. Kazuya was still there. Must be strong in Kazuya’s eyes-he wanted to be the strongest Kazuya could ever lean on. Yet he asked himself how will he do that when the only person he was leaning on was also deteriorating?
He pushed himself down on their bed, wrapping his arms to the younger one and kissed his head. “Yes baby?”
“I want to go somewhere…” he mumbled. He eyes were closed, but Jin was sure that he’s awake already.
“Okay… where do you want to?” Jin whispered in his ear as Kazuya giggled, taking Jin closer to his body. Kazuya feels so warm. So far from the cold, lifeless body he had in his arms.
“Wherever. As long as I’m with you, I’m fine.” Kazuya replied.
“We should go to Haruka.”
And they did. Jin brought Kazuya in Haruka’s grave. They spend their packed lunch to talk about things Kazuya forgotten about her.
Jin just re-told the story he heard from Kazuya and add some story of Junno to at least mention his name to Kazuya.
After that, both of them fell into silence, Kazuya rest his head on Jin’s shoulder as they let themselves feel the sea breeze. Jin hardly had the time to just sit somewhere near the sea to just think about how wonderful the place could be. Jin was amazed to the baby blue tinting the sky that was mirrored by the sea. Everything was filled with blue. Now he couldn’t understand how that word blue was just another word for sad when it brought him happiness.
“Jin.” He called “Why Haruka need to leave me?”
“I…” Jin thought for more appropriate answer but he just has none “I don’t know, maybe…”
“I promise…” Jin halted from talking when Kazuya mumbled, looking so true in his eyes “I will never leave you, Jin.” He said, then turned his gaze to the vast view of the sea. Jin watched him closely, the way his lips curved into smiled as he looked from afar, he could truly tell that Kazuya, won’t break that promise.
Jin smiled sweetly, holding his hands and join his lover looking in the distance “Then we will walk hand in hand.”
“Yes, I could feel that we will have a very very very loooonggg journey.”
“Yeah, we will.” He pulled Kazuya and kissed him to the lips.
With that, Jin feel the bliss.
part 1
~
a/n: Hello summer! <3 so I'm back again because I don't have class anymore. haha yet I still have duties, blah blah. Actually I had this chapter finished long time ago when I have vacants I just had the time to post this just now sorry xD
and the chapter 14 is up as well so I will have a double-update <3 ! I really got the feels to write recently which is a good sign for me :D
yaaayyyyy <3