STAMPED; HEART SHARDS THEME
Name: Lecretia
Age: 22
Gender: Female
What do you like most about yourself?
Hm... that I'm open-minded, determined, and resourceful (normally). I'm also pretty responsible, even if it doesn't always seem like it. I'm polite and respectful and I like to help others. I consider myself pretty optimistic, which I prefer. I like my visual-spacial abilities - I'm a very visual and interactive/hands-on person. I like how I'm contemplative and observant (or at least I attempt to be... I just might be tooting my own horn).
What do you like least about yourself?
My ego and pride can be big problems at times, and I wish I was more humble (or more easily allowed myself to be humbled). My forgetfulness and absentmindedness can be a pain to deal with as well. I wish I had more confidence in myself and my abilities. I wish I was more self-disciplined and ambitious - if I was I could accomplish so much (sadly, inspiration wanes with time, and that's normally my main driving force for little projects I start, and they rarely ever end up finished).
How do you act in the company of other people?
I try to be kind and respectful. I'm normally the quiet person who sits and listens. However, I also like to crack jokes, because I love to make people laugh. I'm more talkative around those I'm comfortable with, and once you get me to open up and chat it can be hard to shut me up at times.
Put an X (or whatever symbol you'd like) on all the options that apply to you.
Example: [X] Happy
Which of these words appeal to you? (Explain in brief beside each of the options you chose, if you feel the need to expound.)
[Y] Contented - This could almost be viewed as an opposing force to "moving". Moving means change while content means being settled. And I think I'd like a mixture of both. I'd like a strong foundation that I could be content with but I'd also like the ambition to move forward (if any of this makes sense).
[ ] Distressed
[ ] Melancholy - I would have checked this if it was "Nostalgia". However, melancholy reminds me of a more depressing yearning for the past.
[Y] Moving - Growing, changing... these invoke positive feelings in me, and maybe a little apprehension. Some changes can be for the worse; however, I'm viewing this as more of a "change in self" than a "change in direction" or "change in opinion".
[ ] Frustrated
[Y] Loving
[ ] Scared
[Y] Optimistic
[Y] Kind
[Y] Inquisitive
[ ] Self-important - Hmm... I would have selected this if it wasn't so extreme. I think it's good for people to like themselves and be someone who they can be proud of. But being arrogant and self-absorbed can be just as annoying and dangerous.
[Y] Confident - This stems from the desire to have more confidence in myself.
[Y] Loyal
Using the same list from above, which feelings do you experience the most? (Explain in brief if you want.)
[Y] Contented
[ ] Distressed
[ ] Melancholy
[ ] Moving
[Y] Frustrated
[Y] Loving
[ ] Scared
[Y] Optimistic
[Y] Kind
[ ] Inquisitive
[ ] Self-important
[ ] Confident
[Y] Loyal
In general, are you more...
Introverted/extroverted?
More introverted than extroverted. But I can become a talker around friends and family. I'm able to overcome my insecurities of feeling like I sound like an idiot when I'm with someone I'm comfortable with.
Bold/timid?
This is a toughie. I'd probably say timid, however, I can be bold as well. It's hard to explain. I have a hard time being bold around those of higher status and/or position, and I can be respectful to the point of becoming a glorified "yes-man" around these people. And I have a bleeding heart to the point of allowing others to crawl all over me. So, even if I have something to say, I'll just stay quiet and polite. Normally, I just keep to myself because I don't want to offend people and I don't want to ask for favors because I don't want to seem needy (that's my pride speaking... I want to appear strong in a silent, steady-as-a-mountain sort of way). I don't intentionally draw attention to myself unless if I'm in an eccentric/hyper mood or with people I'm comfortable with. However, if someone prompts me on something that's against the norm or goes against what I strong believe, I will stand up against the peer pressure to show I'm not scared. In a group of people who drink a lot, I have no problem stating that I DO NOT go drinking and that I find a worthless activity to participate in (what's the appeal in losing all inhibitions and control?). It's probably rude, but I will stand firm. I've been around homophobes and outright stated that I have no problem at all having homosexual friends and that a person's preferences does not matter.
Warm/detached?
Hm... probably a mixture of both. I always try to be warm and kind to people. However, I'm hard to open up to others. I normally keep to myself. And if I'm around someone I'm uncomfortable with I can be detached to the point of being cold. I've come to realize that people who are emotionally detached or impassive are generally those with the power in relationships, so I use that as a defense mechanism. I'm not intentionally cold to other people - I don't like to hurt feelings - but there's a sort of gap between me and the average Joe even though I'm being kind and friendly. If I'm emotional and open around you, then that means you've partially bridged the gap and I trust you.
Optimistic/pessimistic?
I consider myself a realistic optimist or maybe an optimistic realist (not quite certain what takes more precedence). I have noticed that over the years I've had more pessimistic thoughts than what I once had, but I try to never let them control me. Having pessimistic thoughts is once thing... how you react is a completely different situation. Your attitude is a strong factor that affects your mood. I could become more pessimistic and negative, or I could accept the knowledge and then twist things around to see things in a more positive light. I prefer to keep things positive. It doesn't always work (for those times that are really bad... eek), in which case I resort to escaping (in a fanfic/anime/whatever) until I feel more in control (probably not the best course of action I could take, but we all have our issues that need to be ironed out).
Emotionally strong/weak?
How does one define emotionally strong? Is it someone who is always open and honest with his/her feelings? Or is it someone who's in control? When I was in elementary school, I was picked on all the time (in fact, I was the biggest "loser" in my grade) and I cried all the time, which didn't help at all with my popularity situation (I cried if I got anything beneath an A on any assignment, I cried if I skinned my knee, I cried if I was picked last for a team). In fact, all the way until the 6th grade (when I moved to a knew school, which while it had all of my old peers also had new kids from other elementary schools) I only even had three friends, and one ended up betraying me (but I forgave her right away once she said she was sorry, which I guess might have shown my needy desperation to have friends at the time). It wasn't until I moved to a new city (new state even) that I began to start changing from the needy crybaby to who I am today. I realized I didn't want a friend unless if it was someone who wanted to be with me, so instead of searching for someone I decided to be patient. I was friendless for half a year (which I think bothered my parents at the time more than it did me) until I found someone (someone who's still one of my best friends to this day), and it was Du-chan that came to me first. I've moved two more times since then, and each time I become more independent and emotionally detached (I'm still extremely close to my family and previous friends, however it takes a while for me to open up to new friends). I rarely ever cry for myself now (in fact, in the four years since I started college, I think I've only cried twice for myself) - by this I mean that I can bawl at the drop of a hat if I ever see a child/baby hurt or in pain due to cruel circumstances, but I rarely ever cry due to issues in my own life. Does this make me emotionally strong? Or am I being foolish? In the end, I am who I am partially due to who I was and what I experienced.
Skeptical/trusting?
Considering my behavior around others, I'm more skeptical than trusting. However, I have an overall faith in people and humanity that believes in the good in others. I always want to trust people I first meet (even if I don't), and I can probably be pretty easily duped if you're extremely kind to me. With age, I have more common sense than what I once did, which prevents me from making stupid decisions even if my heart is telling me to believe in the person. For example, George, the maintenance man in my apartment complex, is a really friendly guy. I've only ever met him a couple of times, but I already trust him with my valuables (normally, he can't go into another person's apartment to perform maintenance repairs without permission... otherwise, he'd have to wait for another time when the person is home). I've already given him the permission to go in if I'm not there and something needs to be fixed. And, quite frankly, I don't believe he would steal anything from me. That, right there, is the trusting side of me that can be easily duped (I'm normally only ever like this though for my elders... I trust people older than me more than those my own age).
Ambitious/idle (or perhaps already content)?
Heh, I think I'm in the more content range. Even though there are things that I'd like to change about myself, I'm content with what I have, where I'm going in life, and so on. I'm pretty good at looking at the positive in most situations, and I can be laid back as well, which is why I'm able to settle. However, I wish I was more ambitious and had more of a back bone - I could accomplish so much more...
Explain your answers as much as you can.
Do you consider yourself moody? Why or why not?
I once would have said no because I'm not openly emotional, but now I'm not so sure. I have noticed that I do go through certain moods. Like some days I'll feel more whimsical and thoughtful, others I'll feel more upbeat and active, others bold and eccentric, and others down to earth and practical. It might have something to do with my hormones, it might be just one small event that sets things off, or it might be a combination of many different things. I'm not quite certain.
What mood do you usually find yourself in?
Er... complacency? Not quite certain. I'm most generally in a positive, content, sometimes blarr mood (as in I'm not always there).
Which feeling have you least experienced (or don't want to experience)?
Fury, hatred, extreme anger. I've only ever felt that in moments of passion after I found out that my sister was picked on or I saw something in a movie about a child or woman being brutally molested, raped, and/or murdered. Hearing on the news only disgusts or depresses me. Seeing it happen or having to deal with the aftermath (like my sister crying) brings me to a furious anger that makes me want to go out and beat something up.
When someone wakes you up early in the morning, how do you usually react?
I scowl, grumble, and then turn over and fall back asleep. I'm not a morning person.
What do you think of what's happened in your life so far?
I am proud of who I am and where I come from. And I consider myself lucky, 'cause even if some aspects of my life haven't been all dandy I'm very fortunate in comparison with many others out there. I have a loving friend, close life-long friends, a career path I think I'll enjoy, and many fond experiences and memories. Everyone has ups and downs, and my downs have only made me stronger. And I strive to change myself even more in order to become someone I can even be more happy as.
What do you imagine your future to be like?
Like my past and my present with new twists and turns. I hope that I'm able to accomplish a lot of my goals, but if I'm unable to I'll still grow from it. I just need to stay positive and continue to fight.
Can you tell us something (anything! Can be a song, an object, fanart, anime, food, etc.) that touched you very deeply?
Music is a strong inspiration for me. It touches my soul and allows me to release those emotions that I have a hard time expressing. Music is definitely a strong force in my life. Inspirational stories of people overcoming strong odds or always giving the fight always give me a boost of determination. Some movies that always strongly affect me would have to be "It's a Wonderful Life" and "Pay It Forward" - both always fill me with strong hope and faith in the good in people, one in a light-hearted way and the other in a heart-wrenching way that never fails to bring me to tears.
If you were Mytho and had a choice not to get one (and only one) of your heart shards back, which one would it be and why?
Quite frankly, this doesn't really settle with me. Because even if I were to lose a negative part of myself, I would still be losing a part of myself. Emotions serve a purpose. Fear provides a form of self-protection. Regret, even if it sucks a lot, gives me a focus to know what I don't want to experience again and how to avoid it. Sorrow is an emotional release. Disappointment puts things into perspective and humbles me. Loneliness makes me realize that I'm not as detached and heartless as I think I am because I crave companionship. Pride gives me a sense of self-respect. They all remind me I'm human and alive. Now, an excess of any one of those emotions would be bad... but then again I think that an extreme excess of any one emotion could be harmful, whether it be good or bad. If I had to choose one, I guess I might give up fear (it'd be so nice to not be so undermined by my fear of spiders).
Three votes:
http://community.livejournal.com/tutu_rating/67285.html?thread=659157#t659157
http://community.livejournal.com/tutu_rating/67050.html?thread=658922#t658922
http://community.livejournal.com/tutu_rating/64164.html?thread=647332#t647332