my life falls apart when she's not in it.

i have the worst fucking headache i can ever remember having.

doing shake it by metro station tonight in drag. then i'm taking a 2 month hiatus. too much bullshit. i was going to quit, but then on the way to our meeting i heard a song i had done in drag and realized i really do enjoy it (and the money certainly doesn't hurt).

oh my casey, i need to e-mail you.

i've been getting weird signs lately telling me everything will be okay, but it just makes me feel more like it never will be.

the current temperature in new orleans right now is 37 degrees, feels like 29.  tomorrow the high is predicted to be 71 degrees.  wtf!  that's almost double.  and that is ridiculous.

merry christmas?  last year a distant cousin of mine who lost her mom around my age too said christmas wasn't the same for her until she had kids of her own.  i didn't pay much attention to it...last year i was still in a daze, but i think i believe it. 

someone posted a survey and one of the questions was: think about the last person close to you that died... if you had the chance to give them an hour of their life back but you had to give up a year of yours, would you?

if i got to spend that hour with her...absofuckinglutely.  i really would.

i miss her. 

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i want to start writing again...but i'm afraid.  of what i'm not sure...i guess opening that door to feeling.  the last time i wrote was over a year ago...a silly poem when i was crushing on shawn the first time.

My shoulder is in excruciating pain.  It started with stress, and then I slept on it wrong last thursday night.  It's been getting progressively worse since.  I wonder if it's sympathy pains to this time a year ago.  My mom had cancer spots on the bone under where the muscle hurts me now.  She was going through radiation for it...up until she went ( Read more... )