I wish I could see a movie that didn't talk about cancer. I wish I could go to the theater and enjoy myself instead of folding up into my seat and clutching his arm. I went outside to smoke a cigarette because I wanted to cry. As soon as I felt the tears coming up a rat ran past me on the stairs. It seems like every time I am ready to hurt ( Read more... )

I went to dinner with old friends tonight. Our waitress was a traveling dancer fresh out of New York City and into my hometown. She gave us free coffee, said she knew what it was like to be a starving artist. I wanted to tell her I didn't, that I wasn't living from paycheck to paycheck, that my parents supported me, that I wasn't even sure I was ( Read more... )

Your smallest gestures move mountains for me. They uproot the rock and plant it in the ocean so it can be flowstone. One day, when we run out of room, a city will be built on the water. Houses and schools and supermarkets all across the sea and none of it will crumble because, underneath, you are the rock ( Read more... )

I hope I learn one day to leave a mark on people the way she has.

I realized the last two days are a culmination of every significant moment in my life, at least those I can remember. Each triumph and loss was somehow represented, everything I hate and value played a role. There were secrets that turned things upside down and childish arguments with mature resolutions. I felt physical and emotional pain. I was ( Read more... )

The world is round, like talking. This would make it hard for me to fall off of it, but easy for me to hear what you say, because noise travels in circles. For me to write about your words is passive. Much like the way you spoke them, much like the way she told me (in the kitchen with her eyes averted.) There is no roundabout way to say I am hurt ( Read more... )

I am always happy, or capable of being so. But with you, I am unbelievably ecstatic.

I think, when you can eagerly share a bottle of wine and comfortably fall asleep in the same bed with people you have not seen in three and a half years, you need to make sure it is not another three and a half years before you see them again. He said, "I expected you to burst through the door and tear this place apart" and I smiled because he knew ( Read more... )

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In other news, the worst Facebook status ever:
"________ is belmont debate block party tomorrow! braid paisley here I come :)"

I guess someone forgot to tell her Barack Obama was going to be there, too.