It may surprise some of my LJ peeps to learn that I have a fraternal twin brother named Brian. Although we were only five minutes apart at birth, we are different in every way - he's six feet tall and weighs 215 pounds, while I'm 5'7" and weigh 145 pounds; he has thick, wiry hair (what's left of it) and I have thin, straight hair; he's straight, I' ( Read more... )

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Your Penis Name Is...
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You Are 20% Capitalist, 80% Socialist
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Nothin' to say. Just loved this pic, that I call "Dog Licks Bear." I ganked it off AOL. Shouts to my peeps! All six of you.....

The problem with having such huge gaps in Live Journal entries is that it not only creates the burden of having something of real import and moment to say, but it also begs for an entry of "catch up," a summary of what has transpired in my life since last I wrote (for example: My highly flirtatious but oddly platonic relationship with Officer Kevin ( Read more... )

The Manse is getting a make-over. Not only am I having aluminum siding installed on the house, but I am also engaging a rugged duo to execute some major landscaping this summer, and to maintain the lawn and grounds with frequent mowing and pruning. Who knew the phrase "home equity loan" could possibly equal "beefcake feast"? Straighten your seams, ( Read more... )

Although the word "administrator" does not appear anywhere in my job title, my boss decided to take me to lunch yesterday in honor of National Secretaries Day.

Excuse me… National Administrative Professionals Day. Good Lord ( Read more... )

(Overheard this morning in the supermarket. The speaker was an elderly woman talking loudly to her younger companion, presumably her daughter.)

"I really love those cinnamon candies, but they give me diarrhea and it burns my sphincter on the way out."

Good Lord. TMI, Lady, way, WAY TMI.

I was sliding in and out of consciousness, dozing fitfully, lulled by the comforting sounds surrounding me in the Critical Care Unit: the soft susurrus of nurses uniforms swishing past; the occasional blip and beep certifying I was still alive; a phone bleating here, the whirring of some office machinery there; and the muted effluvia from an ( Read more... )