They kicked me out for no good reason. I mean sure I had two and a quarter shots 15 minutes before the bar closed, but I got them for other people and they were unable to drink them. Bastards! Fucking asian dude. He kicked me out because someone complained about someone else and I was confused with that person. I just wanted tally mctally for ( Read more... )

I just finished reading a bunch of my old posts and noticed a topic that comes up with alarming regularity. It seems that for many of my posts I'm either talking about having been drunk or I was in fact drunk while writing the post. Man, I need a drink.

Me so drunk. Me drunk lots of alcohol. Me love spell check. How many sides does a 2D object have? One bitch! Think about that and bow down to the craziness. I love rum. Rum! Rum! Rum! Goes down to my belly and makes me feel warm. I'm like a one eyed pirate with two eyes. I got the double vision! I wish I was a pirate sailing the seven seas, raping ( Read more... )

Authentic Pirate Hip Hop - Link
LOL.

Why do I find you so addictive lj? I hate you so much. You suck, but I want to make sweet love to you like a warm apple pie on a cold day ( Read more... )

Apparently two police officers were served pot burgers at a Burger King. That's fucking hilarious. See below for clips.

Click to view

Click to view

Since when did 4 inches mean 6.5 inches. I swear to god. I mean that's just blatant dishonesty. How am i supposed to put 4 inches of dick in my ass! Even if it got in it wouldn't be able to give me any pleasure what-so-ever. Two fucking hours of my life wasted. Today has been a fucked up day. I hope i wake up tomorrow and find the earth completely ( Read more... )

It's amazing what can finally push someone over the edge. Last week I had a project due and some programming homework. I did the programming homework first since I like it better and then did the project. The programming homework was impossible so I got extremely frustrated after spending hours working on it. I then did my project, but did a bad ( Read more... )

for the first time ever i actually saw a person driving a motorcycle with a sidecar and i saw a kid on a two person bike in the same day.

i'm all alone at work today. goddamn fuckers.

Today is going to be a long day. Tomorrow is the first day of school for me and I am nervous as hell. Why does my body have to get all fucked up over something so simple? I really feel like doing something crazy, something unique that no one has ever done. Life seems to have gotten boring again. I can't hide in tv/movies/books forever but that is ( Read more... )