Never be afraid to speak up when you feel you need to

prom is on June 5th. Jordan is taking me. I wouldn't be going unless I had him to go with, or if Jessica wanted me to go with her.  I'm starting to think about dresses. If I had the way I wanted I would be going in a tux but Jordan doesn't want that so I won't. I don't really know what I want, all I know is I think I want a ballroom style dress ( Read more... )

pay off my brother's debt and help him stay on his feet till he gets a new job. help my sister through university. help my oldest sister pay off her and her husband's house and start a school savings account for their daughter. give my parents some for their retirement fund, then put myself through school. some would go to charities, some to my ( Read more... )

I realize that no one is going to read this but I don't care - I just need to tell something this, get it out of my system and maybe I will feel better ( Read more... )

I feel like such a failure.

Yesterday I woke up in a really bad mood, like I knew something would go wrong.  Put up the Christmas lights, watched my bf's hockey game, drew *was ok when I was drawing* then went home and hung out with him. He asked if we could watch the game downstairs today and I said my parents would be using the TV. We started ( Read more... )

Happy birthday April... I miss  you like hell and it still hurts so much to know that I can never talk to you again. You left us too early, with little warning... I can't help but think... maybe you would've come out of it... I know its stupid to think and that I'm only hurting myself but I just wish I could hug you one last time, I wish I could ( Read more... )

 I don't want a job... I wish that I could just stay at home, never eat, and make things. but I can't do that because 1. I need money to buy fabric, yarn, paint, cancas, etc. 2. my parents would never get off my back. 3. I would become even more of a hermit than I already am ( Read more... )

why do I hate it when people do kind things for me ( Read more... )

so yes, I am a veeeery messed up person. Manic deppression, massochist, with some kind of eating disorder to boot - its like a mix of ana and bulimia. Just to those wondering, I am pro-ana - that means I support those with it, I sometimes join pro-ana groups, and I try to help those with it to do it a little healthier ( Read more... )