just a note: my period ended by Wednesday and I've been clear headed since. Still having lingering effects of the meds, but overall I'm starting to sleep better. I'm not feeling that sense of gloom and depression. I feel lifted - clouds free from the sky. what the hell? the meds were my last resort and seriously it made everything so much worse. I ( Read more... )

so forgive me. but I have to write this shit down ( Read more... )

I hate having to do these since I have them at the office, but in order to create some sense of order in my life, I need to start incorporating these basic things as simple todo's at the end of the day or the week:

Everyday:
hang the clothes I wore or throw them in the laundry bag
make my bed
eat breakfast at home
make lunches to go
Keep the sink clean ( Read more... )

i can't sleep i don't want tomorrow to start this is when the madness begins.

i was in a big house, a mansion. my sister called and said that the neighbor next door was being a bitch and that Angelique, our neice was on our way over. Angelique was expecting to stay at this neighbor;s house. she comes over to my house and she's looking overwhelmed. I ask her how she's feeling and she wants to express herself and she doesn't ( Read more... )

i wanted to write about how much things have changed drastically and now instead of feeling stuck in the mud, I'm feeling the mad feverish push to cross things of my to do list. the amount of daylight hours in the summertime here is crazy. the sun sets at 10 pm. this is what I did today ( Read more... )

early this morning, I woke to those weird dreams. My roomate Carrie and I had been in a weird space and she and I both had scissors and we were arguing and suddenly we started fighting with the scissors. She was about to pierce my throat when a shadow distracted the both of us. I didn't know who it was, until she revealed to us that she was her our ( Read more... )

today was a lazy sunday. 80 degrees hot in the rainier valley. I stayed in all day, except for meeting Maria at the revolving sushi bar. I'm reading Pema Chodron for the moment, finding inspiration in buddhist philosophy. nothing is ever permanent, once I start embracing that the better off I will be ( Read more... )

I've been struggling over a few things these past couple of months. For awhile I couldn't put my finger on it, so I just let it pass, and went through my days home bus work bus home. i felt stuck. bound by the grayness and darkness of Seattle's days. I realized I stopped believing in possibilities. that my reality was just that and simply that. the ( Read more... )

so lo and behold the cycle breaks through because the dam between my legs is bleeding once again. this is when my energy is on the upsurge. when the sumptious vietnamese cafe sua da that I had this morning keeps me up until 2:00 in the morning. the weather is schizophrenic like my mind. In the fall, the days are super short. dark when you awaken ( Read more... )