you can't really want something that doesn't exist ( Read more... )

so my life isn't fabulous as the story in my head originally planned but it's my life and I have to deal with it. Out with the false fantasies in my head, the hopeful possibilities of maybe - what the hell does that mean, anyway? it means if it ain't happening right now, it ain't happening right now. although experience at 30 tells me that it will ( Read more... )

I do this in between periods of transitioning from my past life to my newly fabulous future life ( Read more... )

I graduate tomorrow! Woo hoo. I never believed I would get here but here I am.

All FINISHED.

My sleep schedule this week has been completely insane. I've had insomnia since Sunday and now I'm wide awake at 5:40 in the morning NY east coast time. Of course I'm still houses sitting and the cat cries to be petted outside my bedroom door. Poor thing. I wish I were a cat so that I can meow whenever I want to be touched and people on the street ( Read more... )

but I never studied for my final exams today. I let the day pass, the minutes turning into hours, the afternoon sunlight turning into dusk and not even though my laptop says it's 8:29 pm, I know it's a lie because it's still set on west coast time, like my inner time clock, and the real time in new york city if 11:39, close to midnight and I'm ( Read more... )

I'm holing myself up in queens, house-sitting and with the excuse of studying for my finals, however, I realized this is the first quiet moment that I've had since leaving Seattle and coming to New York. It's been a whirlwind summer and it's finally winding down. I have finals this week, which shouldn't be that difficult. I just have to do a little ( Read more... )

one more week in seattle ( Read more... )

I give up.

I saw a rainbow over the rain clouds today, which was a clear reflection of how I've been feeling. The hurt has simply gone away. I cried and cried and cried on Thursday, contemplated the depth of the river outside my window, even. Then I made myself go to work on Friday, knowing full well I've been through worse, and the only thing that got me ( Read more... )