Mom wrote me this email:"Chris, just want to let you know that I am here for you if you need to talk. I know that Amy in not the only one being affected by all this. I want you to think about talking to someone at dr. Ginsbergs office. You and I are victims in this whole thing too you know. Especially you. I want to make sure that you are ( Read more... )

I was thinking about going to sleep, but watching tv and eating lasagna in the living room sounds more like a plan. I have the rest of my life to sleep, I'm gonna go watch the news. *rolls eyes* Not too tired, pretty awake actually. Yawn here and there, but I'll manage. Oh and I love my kitties. They've been in my room with me all night. ( Read more... )

I am officially declaring my hate for poetry. It doesn't make sense, it sounds like crap, and unless I rhyme, I don't like writing it. So there. Bitches.

I think I'm going to bed at 3. After I shower and everything. I'm doing better. Still depressed, but I'm putting on a semi-happy face to assure Mom that I'm ok. I'm isolating myself, but that's my defense mechanism. Amy seems a little down, which is understandable. I hadn't seen her down since the day after she was raped, but I think now it's ( Read more... )

I talked to my granny a little while ago. Said Rene was wondering what's going on. Mom doesn't want me to tell him, so I won't. Just tell him something's going on that we wish to not talk about but that everything is going to be ok. I want to tell him, but I must respect Mom's wishes. Told Granny I'm going to the doc Monday. Said if it was ( Read more... )

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Mom woke me up at 3PM. Wanted me to go to the store with her and Amy to get groceries. I was dead tired and felt like shit so I declined. Went and laid on the couch and tried to sleep some more. My heart is pounding. I feel lightheaded. I'm making myself sick worrying about this mess. I've gone over in my head so many times how to find this ( Read more... )

Amy appears to be doing good under the circumstances. Joking around, playing on the computer. I don't see the private moments between her and Mom, but I think she will be ok in time. I almost cried again while I was in the living room watching a movie with Mom and Amy. Then when Mom tried to tell me she was there for me I almost broke down. I ( Read more... )

I didn't go to the doctor today. I fell asleep around 8 this morning and didn't want to wake up to go. I feel a little better, but not much. Still see the images in my head. The anxiety is gone, thank goodness. I still wanna kill the bastard. I'm really depressed. I haven't eaten in over a day. My mom's making us a huge dinner. Our ( Read more... )

Went into the mental health chat and vented again. Got good recommendations on benzos. Ativan and Xanax seem like good choices. It's up to the doc if I even get anything though. This all seems like a dream. A horrible horrible dream. I wish I could wake up and it be nothing but a faint memory. I'll forget it for a moment then it comes back ( Read more... )