Pater
Daniel
Naomi
Scott
Liz
Ryan
Ryan
Jacquelyn
Hayley
Gordy
Brennan
Steph
Ciarra
Christy
probably Leigh

It's sad some people aren't on it. There are some I wish were. There may be less in times to come.

The past is the past... I finished my contract with Disney, solidifying that people can make an experience spectactular or sour. Many good friends came out of that contract who are still in my life - Michael Turner, Patrick Arrow, a few others by thought. After testing a career in fitness, it has been declared that sales are not for me. And that ( Read more... )

I'm back in NY. And it sucks. It hasn't even been a day. For some reason I just lost it yesterday morning, starting with John. Telling him bye was hard, but harder was leaving. I meet a great guy, that seems to fit right there with me and me with him, and he's not going to be there when I get back. I can't say it's the thing that would last ( Read more... )

"Whatever defines a relationship is based on another relationship."

The sex? The phone calls? The frequency? The cuddling? The comfortable silence? The mutual thoughts? The conversation? The smiles? The time between the sex? Or the feeling that it just is and not needing to question?

Trying to rush through life and do everything now almost paralyzes me when I stop to think about it. It's hard to make my next decision and take the time to plan and equip for it when I want to do it NOW so that I can then do the next thing. Why wait? Even in relationships, I get so caught up in it I just live with the now. Right now ( Read more... )

Is it possible to want something so much that you push it away? Lately I've been remembering and all the good feels so good. It makes me smile and laugh and be thankful for all I've had and where it's taken me. Here I am today. But it reminds me of the things missing right now. The things that are important, that give me purpose and hold ( Read more... )

Play.
Stop.
Rewind.
Play again inside my mind.

Lonely.
Empty.
Incomplete.
These are the reasons I cannot sleep.

I was mugged less than a week ago. Another person had no problem wrapping an arm around my neck, feeling me struggle, until I passed out. And then dropped me on my face, surely seeing the blood. For $20. And a laugh. How does that happen? Why is that happening? And yet, I can look at my broken face in the mirror and not hurt. I just see the ( Read more... )

I think I'm going to get hurt and/or lose a friend. The question remains daily, what exactly is there between us. But it seems ridiculously difficult to find out. Half of me thinks this is because there isn't much to be found. The other half thinks it's a defense mechanism. I just want to know if there's even room to wonder, or if it's just ( Read more... )

I have this problem with negative thoughts or energy. Once it's in me, it's so difficult to overcome. Things were going so well in Texas and I was feeling much better, happy even. Some specific events have sparked the uplift, but overall, it was a badly needed a break. Then one or two thoughts creep in about insecurity or something slightly ( Read more... )