1. Getting divorced. talked to kat last night about it, it's going to happen. soon. Wow. Part of me never really believed it, but I suppose it's for the best ( Read more... )

"I was sentimental about many things: a woman's shoes under the bed; one hairpin left behind on the dresser; the way they said, "I'm going to pee.."; hair ribbons; walking down the boulevard with them at 1:30 in the afternoon, just two people walking together; the long nights of drinking and smoking, talking; the arguments; thinking of suicide; ( Read more... )

kat threw me out. marriage is over. i'm the bad guy. this is exactly what i asked for.

holy shit, what's happening to me. i'm in the depths of grief and i don't even know why. i just feel the need to cry ALL THE TIME. except, well. with her. this situation is a no-win and i have no idea how to cope. i want to FEEL something OTHER than frustration and pain. i want to FEEL joy and love. i had no idea that my life would be this

world is crashing down around me. too much change too fast. emotions surging through my head and heart: passion, vibrancy, grief, fear, shame, pain, confusion, more fear. after a rough "vacation" back home that nearly broke my heart by breaking someone else's, we have to find a new home. landlady doesn't want cats. kat wants cats. ugh. wish ( Read more... )

achingly lonely.

01) Are you currently in a serious relationship ( Read more... )

Sometimes, it all feels like too much for one person to handle.

my wife deserves a special post of her own. she puts up with all of my mood swings, previously dealt pain, and guilt. i'd be lost without her and do everything i can to show her how much she means to me. kat, i love you.

i've never been more worried about myself.

lauren: i'm sorry for all that we put each other through. I miss you deeply as a friend and wish that we could have parted on speaking terms. i broke your heart and messed with your head and emotions, justifying it by saying that you did the same thing to me. i was wrong, so absolutely wrong. i don't know where you are or what you're doing now ( Read more... )